I live here, work here and have a Thai wife and 2 children, oldest is 18. I went with only my wife to register the wedding in Bangkok. Her family lives 700 km away. Other people have 500 people coming over and get a bunch of monks involved. What i think doesn't matter in this case, it is a thing between you and your future wife. "Up to you" doesn't mean that it is up to you, you are expected to do the right thing. That is why it is important to have a long conversation with her to find out what she really wants / likes.