It is very wise for a recovering alcoholic to totally stay clear of any alcohol!
Some people can not even go near a bar for fear of relapsing and that is indeed a great danger.
You said yourself that alcohol has ruined your life,it is that strong.
Some people have tried a drink after years and completely became controlled by it again.
You yourself have tried it before and so far failed.
If you can manage to not touch a drink for one month then why play with the dragon again?
Maybe just drink grapejuice ,it has good health benifits also,no alcohol needed.