Zyxel

Two nuns were in back of the convent smoking cigarettes when one said, “It’s bad enough that we have to sneak out here to smoke, but it really is a problem getting rid of the cigarette butts so that Mother Superior doesn’t find them. ”The second nun said, “I’ve found a marvellous invention called the condom, which works really well for this problem. You just open the packet up, take out the condom, and put the cigarette butt in, roll it up, and dispose of it all later!” The first nun was quite impressed and asked where she could get some of these condoms. The second nun said, “You get them at the drug store, Sister, just go and ask the pharmacist for them.” The next day the good sister went to the drug store and walked up to the counter.“Good morning sister,” said the pharmacist. “What can I do for you today?”“I’d like some condoms please” said the nun. The pharmacist was a little taken aback, but recovered soon enough and asked, “How many boxes would you like — there are 12 to a box.” “I’ll take six boxes that should last about a week” said the nun.The pharmacist was truly flabbergasted by this time, and was almost afraid to ask any more questions, but his professionalism prevailed and he asked in a clear voice, “Sister, what size condoms would you like-we have large, extra large, and big liar size.” The sister thought for a minute, and finally said: “I’m not certain, perhaps you could recommend a good size for a Camel.

Mary. A typical middle aged housewife, was desperate to look young and sexy again for her hubby but could not afford breast implants. She had recently heard from a friend that soaking in a tub full of goats milk for an hour was like finding the fountain of youth so she called the local dairy farm who explained that, yes they would be happy to deliver a 50 gallon barrel of it to her home and could be there within the hour and even pour it in the tub for her. He then said, “Excuse me mam but would you like it be pasteurized” to which Mary replied, “No sir, just up to my tits”

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW EVERYTHING? A cat has 32 muscles in each ear. A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue. A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. A snail can sleep for three years. Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer. Almonds are a member of the peach family. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age. Butterflies taste with their feet. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt". February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon. In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated. If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple. On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag. Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. "Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing. The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet. The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid. The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes). There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. There are more chickens than people in the world. There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous" - tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous. There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious." There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance. Women blink nearly twice as much as men. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself. Now you know everything.