Zyxel

Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Maria. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate is. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.'' About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" "Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote an email: Dear Mama, I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house; I'm not saying that you "did not" take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Your Loving Son, Anthony A few days later, Anthony received a response email from his Mama which read: Dear son, I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now. Your Loving Mama Moral: Never Bulla <deleted>a your Mama.

Lev Goldblatt was a Mohel with 40 years experience performing circumcisions. Over the many years Lev saved and collected the tips he cut in a huge glass jar as a remembrance of each circumcision he performed. Now facing retirement, he decided to have a leather goods maker create a keepsake for him made from the collection of tips. So; he went to Murray the leather goods maker and told him his wish. Murray said, “Leave me the jar, give me two weeks and come back. I promise you’ll be pleased. Two weeks later Lev returned, all excited to see what Murray had created for him. Murray opens a drawer and hands the Lev a pink wallet. Lev is aghast. “Vat is dis? I gave you 7000 tips and all I get back after two veeks is a little vallet???!!! Murray smiles and replies, “Rub it. It turns into a suitcase.”