Zyxel

Mrs. Smith just came home from visiting her gynecologist. Her husband, Mr. Smith asked her, “what did the doctor say?” She replied, “For a woman your age you have a good figure and nice breasts”, to which the husband asked, “did he say anything about your big fat ass?” Mrs. Smith thought for a second and said, “No, I don’t think your name ever came up”.

“A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that tiny hole." The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to insert the dying worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "But Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from Grandma.

Little Billy caught his mother off-guard when he asked, “Mommy… I went down the hall and saw you sitting on daddy as he laid down and yelling yes, yes, yes. What was that all about?” His mom, thinking quickly and said, “Oh, well… you know how Daddy’s getting a bit of a tummy… well, I was sitting on him to get some of that air out.” Billy pauses and says, “Oh. That won’t work.” His mom says, “Why not?” Billy helpfully points out, “Because I think while you’re out shopping, Mrs. Johnson comes over from next door and blows the air back into him.”