Of this you are 100% sure? I lived in the deep dark recesses of Issan for a few years, Between Non Kung Thapma and Sakon Nakhon, in a small village called Wang Yai. There were a few folks that spoke English, not real well, but had been taught obviously, and they were older folks. A few younger girls with their husbands or boyfriends also spoke English. The big store that housed all of the building supplies in Nong Kung Thapma was run by a lady who also spoke English. I thought I was far off the grid as I needed an air card in order to get internet, as well as use my cell phone. This of course was back in 2009, and 2010. I can not believe that your area has no one that can speak English even the littlest bit. Howver, stranger things have been known to happen. A lot of the older foreign folks I met had stayed in the region after the Vietnam war ended and they left military service.