Kenny202

What you describe is probably the same as what I described as the "Facebook" list of indiscretions....real or imagined or just lies....to be used as a face saving insurance should the relationship fail and they return back to their village or family in what they perceive as shame. Possibly learnt from a long history of abuse, disappointment and abandonment even from childhood. Who knows. But I have experienced this quite often. Embarrassment and face is one of the strongest motivators for Thais, their whole life is based around it. I often see relationships destroyed mainly because of the actions displayed in fear of the relationship ending. (unrealistic jealousies etc). Almost like they are so scared the relationship will fail better to kill it first

No, incorrect. First time yes...BIGTIME. But lesson learnt. I have come to learn age difference etc doesn't play as big a part of success as you may think. Logically you would think it would. I have know several guys had more problems with older "normal" type village women than younger women. Gambling mostly. 2 of them back home now back working to try and save their home and assets. Why I would never recommend anyone straight off the bat going to live in their girls village. Too many bad habits, access to gambling....skeleton's lurking around in the form of old BF and an endless queue of "friends" wanting to loan money.

I have always made that my policy. If the relationship starts off based on money or there are major psycho, jealousy, trust issues early on....they seldom improve....but every now and then there are extenuating circumstances like kids involved or maybe the threat of a huge embarrassing screaming performance at the front of your home. No reason to unreasonably suffer a bad relationship but sometimes you have to pick your moments. I find usually best to let them leave themselves in a fit of irrational rage and simply refuse to let them come back. I am in a relationship now where things have improved over time and it has probably been worth some heartache. and about 95% is about as good as it gets in any relationship. Very wary of going back now after a split. If it failed before probably will again. Rarely does anything change much, not for any length of time anyway

I think if you read my post you will see I don't let it happen, not for any length of time anyway. I see lots of your posts and you know yourself it can take a short time or a long time to really see what the girl will be like. Can be 2 weeks or 2 years. Like any relationship things either get better and grow or they don't. Generalizations aside I think it is fair comment to say many if not most Thai women have unrealistic expectations of a farang relationship. Particularly financially. They either accept reality or don't moving forward and they may stay albeit bitterly for want of a better option or not. My feeling has never been if you don't like it FO, but never understand why someone stays when they are clearly unsatisfied. If you don't have any better choices make the best of it and be happy....not make everyone's life (including your own) la misery. And yes agree that you have to be the leader. I have always done what I thought was best and make decisions based on every ones well being. If I am irresponsible with finances everyone will eventually lose. Not getting sucked into the "this is the culture, you need to show off and throw money at everyone" thing.

My post are mainly about observations that I have never understood or probably come to terms with, rather than complaints. I do actually like living here and thought I was clear in stating not all women here are like that nor have all my relationships been awful. I am not even really stating in all cases women are ungrateful, rather than me no understanding their reluctance to show it for whatever reason. Anyway read into it what you will. I don't think my thoughts are uncommon here in anyway, certainly not in my experience. I don't know too many guys here have had great rewarding, successful relationships. At best maybe still together out of necessity or convenience and barely tolerate each other, unless the guy has deep pockets. Anyway, maybe things weren't so different back home. Or same same but different

Been here 10 years and still struggle with this. It's like if they show any sort of gratitude or thanks it would kill them, or they are exposing themself in someway. I understand if there is a huge age difference where the relationship is based more on needs than any sort of real feelings, or a bar girl relationship where she is always weighing up the benefits of you vs the "glamorous" bar lifestyle....but in a normal sort of relationship where you are monetarily /effort wise clearly bringing 95% more to the table than she is....maybe taking care of her kid/s....extended family etc. It's almost like you are never doing enough or should try better. It goes from extremes of course some overtly selfish greedy and entitled....and in other cases the girl may show gratitude in some small ways but the word "thank you" would never leave their lips. Nor will they ever say they are sorry. I know it may be expectant of Western values in a different culture but I think it is a basic human need to get some positive feedback or reinforcement. I mean so may times have lived with women like this yet they will meet a Thai on the street they met 2 minutes ago bowing and scraping, nearly falling over themselves to prostrate them selves thanking whoever it is for virtually nothing? I often said to my last girl she seemed to treat food delivery drivers with more appreciation and respect than she did me 5555. I mean it is what it is here and you have to grudgingly accept it like many things if you want to live here but it has never gotten easier for me. It does seem to be a thing with Thai / farang relationships where the girl is a lot more expectant of a foreigner....nearly like she has taken a down grade and expected to be renumerated for it. Or possibly needs to show she has met the golden goose and should have all the trimmings to show off. And I do believe after being here this long they do see us as a last resort / easy way out of debt rather than even a normal relationship or step up in society. Maybe bragging rights on Facebook in a monetary sense. Actually had a girl once say to me when I refused money for something "live with farang for what". I have also asked the question "tell me again what exactly are you bringing to this relationship or doing for me to be told"...... "I live with you every day". Like that in itself should be enough thanks or a sign she is thankful. I set up in a village here with my first girl...She from a very poor abusive back ground and the village itself extremely poor. Some people didn't even have cement on the floors. It seemed to be a great sense of shame to her that I only built a modest single story home and bought a brand new 4WD pick up, rather than a "sport car" (Corolla etc lol). Also she seemed be embarrassed that I wasn't prepared to loan money to the many people that asked her. Loss of face or something. I wasn't going to throw money at people I know I would never be returned just because she had difficulty saying no. The area was all pot holed dirt roads for FS and the 4WD pick up was cheaper than a small Jap car. No brainer. People according to her making comments that themselves lived in a hovel akin to a cave lol. The girl had gold...by far the best house and vehicle within 20km of her home but it was never enough....and I think where most of us make that mistake when we come here. We think we will set up...build the house, buy the gold etc then settle down to a modest lifestyle on some sort of budget. That's where the trouble starts when the free flow of money slows down. She has the house in her name....she found you easy enough? Must be more like you out there. Rinse and repeat. Those types usually end up right back where they started penniless back in a village or bar but that's another story. I have lived with women here for periods where they never seemed happy or satisfied. They themselves never contributed in anyway ....not even cooking or cleaning up after themselves let alone take responsibility for anything in the house or even their own kids. Some wont even make the effort to be pleasant or civil. In the end when you get tired of it and hold up the stop sign they refuse to go lol. Many I have lived with seemingly would like to goad you into giving them a beating or something....I can only assume so they would have something over you or some leverage. Have also lived with girls where they seem to be formulating a Facebook list of slights you have made against them.....which I have come to understand is a face saving insurance they keep to justify why yet another one of their relationships have failed. Like they are always planning the end of the relationship rather than focus on what they can do to build a strong lasting relationship. Planning to fail so to speak. I dunno must be some sort of self defense mechanism they acquire after a life of struggle / abuse. I have seen both things described above though in at least 50% of relationships I have had. Seems common. Has anyone else experienced that? Not really with a more educated girl but certainly a poorer class type. It's nearly like a relationship is war....where one or the other will win and the other kicked to the kerb. Constant battle. I'm not the sort of bloke who doles out monthly allowances etc but on the other hand I am not tight either. I live on a budget and am careful with money....certainly don't have the cash to be buying people free houses anymore but who ever I am with usually has a full wallet at their disposal within reason and supporting her child in every way not only financially but as a real father. I don't wave a money wand and pay out loans credit cards but will certainly help with payments. I take care of myself and kids fully as far as cooking and supervision is concerned. Rarely drink or go out night time. On the other hand none of this seems to be expected from a Thai husband / boyfriend? Particularly in the lower classes have seen girls make no effort in a Western relationship, relationship breaks down and lose a decent, caring Western guy back to a Thai where she is the sole bread winner...living in near poverty while the BF is at home lazing about....has other girls on the side and gives her a smack in the chops for her trouble when required. Scratching around for 10 baht to buy mama noodles. I guess they may be sorry later but as everything Thai they don't seem to learn or appreciate anything until too late.

That guy is great. Really good no non sense info. And he is 100% right I have never made bread from a recipe worked out. Has so much to do with your ingredients and hear chefs all the time saying all flours are different, even from the same brand. Takes a year or two to get the feel of the dough, feel and look of when it is properly kneaded. Again I am pretty sure I am proving mine too long. Might still put it in the oven but with no heat. I'll do the first proof under an hour or when it doubles and then a lot less time on the second proof. Should make a big difference. Mine comes up and spills over the side like he described.

I think the flour here is a big factor too, very inconsistent, and god knows how the yeast is stored prior to going on the shelf. Possibly out sitting in 42 degree heat on a pallet somewhere

Thanks bro, will definitely check it out. With bread its all the little fundamental things. My results were hit and miss up until 3 years ago. Every 4th or fifth loaf would be a dud. Some better than others...and I am accurate with my measurements. I could only put it down to the climate here, humidity or cold makes a huge difference. I have always kneaded by bread in a mixer but my bread went next level a couple of years ago when I got the 10L Kitchenaid Commercial mixer. In fact anything I make cakes, dough etc. Much much better results.

Professional schmeshanal lol. Nah I don't think so mate. Been doing it a long time though. At least at the point now where results are at least consistent. I put a lot of that down to proving it gently in the oven at just above room temp. I was getting results all over the place before, hit and miss and seemed to have to do with the humidity / heat etc on the day. Attached a few photos of bread I made this morning. Like it is super light, soft and airy. Bread back quite a few years ago often come out really dense, like it hasn't risen. Just annoying me it doesn't keep the same structure as when I turn the oven on. Bread is what you want it to be and that always isn't how it would be from a bakery. Some "accidents" actually turn out to be very nice. I just do mine on a loaf tray now. I don't use deep loaf tins. I like the extra crust etc you get from free form and finds it cooks a lot more evenly.

I've sort of exhausted the too much liquid thing I think. Reduced the water content right down until the mixer was struggling to knead it. You know when you make bread for a long time you get to know your mix. Gluten too weak? hmmmm Always use white bread flour and would be 95% of the mix. I don't use wholemeal flour as such but broken whole wheat, pumpkin seeds, sesame, flax etc. I must say though do get the loaf falling even with white bread. I do often wonder as to the quality of the yeast and flour here though. I use the Swan brand. Which leaves me with proofing the likeliest offender. As a rule of thumb, time wise what would you suggest as guide times for the first proofing (covered in the bowl) and second (after shaping)? I usually leave it in the bowl for the first run, possibly 2 to 3 hours. I know they say after the dough doubles in size and for me that would probably be an hour or so. I didn't know there was any harm in leaving it longer, in fact I thought it would be better. Second rise I usually punch down, shape the loaves, slit them and put them in a lukewarm oven. And there maybe the problem because I tend to leave them proofing like that until they don't seem to be rising anymore. May be 2 to 4 hours. That would suggest the yeast has petered out right? Like I said before going in the oven the loaves rise like champions. Possibly 3 or 4 times more than the initial dough, certainly a lot more than double. its only when they go in the oven they deflate / flatten a bit. And it's not from knocking them about either as I proof them in the oven....once they have proved to an acceptable level I just turn on the heat...so they aren't being moved about. Any help appreciated

Thanks mate. I reckon you would need strong wrists to use that whisk! lol. Do you pull it through the dough or something? They reckon never let a baker get close enough to strangle you....Arm's like they have you are toast lol. Will let you know how the it goes when I cut down the proofing time. Not even really sure if it is better to prove twice? I prove it in a bowl first....then punch it down, shape it and put on the tray and proof it again where the loaves rise into shape and full height

Oh mine rises alright, rises hugely actually it just deflates a bit in the oven when I hit it with the heat. Like it shrinks a bit or something. I do knead mine in a commercial mixer and I know I knead it thoroughly (but not too much). Done a bit more reading and I reckon it might be over proofing. The theory being if you leave it to proof too long, your yeast is basically exhausted by the time you put it in the oven, and it is no longer pushing upward or has the strength to keep it up. I reckon proofing in the fridge would help a lot and apparently makes for a better structure. Usually not organized enough to plan that far ahead. The bread is always really nice, lovely texture and not cakey or doughy but really wish I could keep it at the height it is when it goes in the oven

I dunno about that lol. We used to have a grinning idiot in a pick up blaring mawlum music at 4am in our village, right at the front of our house.... a call for people to go collect money in another area for the temple. I shet you not I used to sleep with ear plugs but you could feel the vibrations of this morons doof doof bass through the pillow. People in pick ups and trucks driving slowly along the road in the day with a loud hailer selling stuff. Would have been a nightmare if you were trying to get a baby to sleep. Then there were the random parties and chickens and dogs all night. It was all new and an adventure at the time, but I really don't think I could go back to all the inconveniences of village life again. (Noisy, power / water cuts, poor internet...cost of fuel was huge living remotely). Really depends on where you live and your neighbors. We are in an estate now in the city and rarely hear a peep night time. Never heard a party or loud music in 5 years.

Been baking my own bread for about 5 years and always get a nice rise, and the texture of the bread always lovely but never comes out of the oven at the rise height it was when I put it in? Wholemeal / multi grain more so than plain white. I prove in a bowl for 2 hours then place the shaped loaves on another tray to prove for a further 2 - 4 hours. Usually prove them in the oven with temp set a tad over room temp. Tepid at most. Have tried everything....a bit more water...a bit less. Nothing seems to make much difference. The loaves always come out of the oven with a decrease in the proven height of around 10-15%. I would have thought they would rise even further? Anyone have any ideas or is it just the way it is? Maybe I am proofing it too long?

Again Pattaya / Bangkok stereotype I think. Normally meth heads by the sounds of it

None I have met were like that at all. If anything very reserved and lady like. I have heard guys talking about stereotypical loud, obnoxious whiney overtly gay in your face Ladyboys....but I think pretty much a Pattaya / sex worker type. Ones I have met working normal jobs not like that. Some real petite little stunners too. Immaculately turned out. Hair, nails, clothes, makeup... I guess its the same for a real women sex worker vs civvy. Depends on the outcome you want from living with a partner

Often pondered that question myself....re LTR LB are some of the nicest, most balanced, polite, well mannered and intelligent people I have met here. On the surface how you would expect a "good" Thai girl to conduct herself. I live up North so I am talking "girls" from normal walks of life with normal jobs. On the surface that is. Like many Thai girls the real person you have met may not show herself for some weeks / months in the form of the psycho, moody, irrational joy / cash vacuum that I have come across in the past. I would expect their would be potential there for a possibly good relationship. Life is about being happy for me, and met few Thai women I felt completely happy with for more than brief moments. Mostly a lot of pouting, selfishness, crazy outbursts, violent jealousy, inane conversation, Facebook / Tik tok addictions etc and a need to sleep most of the day. Would be very interested in what peoples experiences have been. There was a great doco on LB and mostly English blokes living together here and most seemed happy, though I did do a follow up a few years after and looks like most of the relationships had gone awry. To be fair to they were bargirl types. Seemed to have all the needy greedy family / support issues you would get with a Thai girl too. I think for many here with family, kids, friends etc here and back home a proper live in relationship like that would be difficult / awkward if not ballsy (no pun ????) I remember someone sent me one of those email joke things a year ago. Titled the perfect Thai woman or something, from the back...dark shapely body to die for...vacuuming the floor and doing the housework while the boyfriend was sinking beers watching TV. Looked like heaven until it showed a frontal photo and a schlong as big as your arm hahaha. Reality check Interestingly there are heaps of ladyboys where I live.....and know of at least 10-15 who work in pharmacies etc. And know they all have "husbands". After living here 7 years I don't remember once going out and seeing a man with a LB partner. Seen a few in Pattaya but never where I live. Must just hide out at home

Someone told me quite a few years back Kalasin had a few sneaky bars in one area I think from memory near the bus station. Thai bars but reports were pretty good. Anything could have changed with bars shutdown over covid bit someone may be able to come along and confirm

I remember first time I came to Phuket maybe 10 years ago....they had a big fair right on the beach. Food, games, shooting galleries and dunk machines. Fireworks and WW2 fighters mock dog fighting. The whole thing was magical. Subsequent visits never saw it again. Maybe it was only a Xmas / NY thing

I got the Joseph Joseph one I normally do 1 min 20 secs. I normally do two at a time and its ok, but I find you need to do them on the well done side as they don't always cook evenly. For eg maybe the yolk done but the white maybe on one side not done. Always position the thing right in the middle of the microwave plate. But yeah does the job. Sometimes use it for a couple of eggs just for me, but generally I have gone back to do them in water as normally cook for kids too and do at least 4 eggs at a time and a lot easier to get them done evenly and how I like em (yolks 50/50). The little microwave egg poacher does save a lot of time cleaning though. Just to mention cheap Joseph Joseph stuff from China more than likely counterfeit. Recently got a garlic crusher and looked ok from a distance but up close very cheaply made and more importantly just didn't work.

I think I may have seen Pampas in Tops and maybe online Lazada but was horrifically expensive. This one (photo attached) from Makro excellent. I ordered some yesterday. Can be hard to find sometimes either in the upright freezers in the bakery or may be in the floor freezers around where they keep spring roll wrappers etc. You got the code there so if you get stuck get your Mrs to ask someone to scan if they have stock and where it is. It's not exactly cheap either at 200 baht but I would say each pack with three rolls equivalent to about 8-10 sheets of pampas. It is really good, very close to the equal of Pampas. A few tips....Each frozen roll unravels quite easily but best to roll it out when it is sort of 80-90% thawed. After that can get a bit gluggy and stick to itself. Frozen and left overnight in the fridge usually ok to use next morning. Just don't leave it out in the heat to long as it gets condensation etc like I said harder to work with. The other thing I used to roll it out make it go a bit further but it pretty much kills the texture and puffiness of the pastry. Much better to just use the sheets....about 1.5 mm thick as they come, cut them to the size you want. Any extra or odd bits you can mix gently to roll out and use again but try to work it as little as possible. I do sausage rolls and stuff like that and you can join end bits of the sheets together gently with egg to make another full sheet.

Some of those cards have good benefits but can have horrendous yearly fees, particularly if you are not putting them to use. Usually anything that includes "gold" or "platinum" in the description falls into this category. What about cash advances say....from my Comm Mastercard to my Comm savings account? (Not ATM withdrawal here) I think from memory the thing use to be a cash advance attracted interest immediately at the full whack rate and a purchase would virtually be interest free providing you paid for same before the end of the month of the purchase.

Thanks all. I use Lazada a bit so will be a good excuse to test it out purchasing a few things (Good excuse for the missus ???? )

I appreciate the offer but really not that concerned about the fees so much....they are what they are...and don't want to go into the details of my bank account etc on a public forum. It just isn't wise. More concerned about my general OP question about using my card for overseas purchases. I am pretty sure using Mastercard or Visa the T&C of purchases is a global thing, not controlled by the banks. They may have some fees related to general purchases domestic or otherwise but as far as ex rate that is a Mastercard thing I think