scottiejohn

I think I have nailed it as I know the drill now, I will get a vice like hold on this subject and hammer out a cast iron solution that you should awl be turning out much sharper reciprocating responses in future! PS; Sorry @VocalNeal about quoting you above. I don't know how that happened!

I feel crushed now!

OK! I fold you are too sharp for me!

I'm not sure I get that! I think I'll give it a minute to sink in and see if I can get to the bottom of it!

Cutting up rough again or are you just swizzing around!

Not as sharp as me!!! I'm a cut above the rest! IM(very)HO!

What a plane comment. Sharpen up or you will get screwed to the workbench!

Your more travelled than Dr Livingstone I presume! One minute in Thailand then in Port Stanley and now in Lake Tanganyika! All the more surprising given your testicular disabilities or have you just made a balls of your geography?

Hence my showing them that the defaults could be changed!

The staff were all girls were they?

So are non "Trans activists"!

And you asked for advice about how to recover your now missing ball after 41 years? Or are just on holiday out in the Falklands there now Goosing around with your pecker out?

I bet a real stink will be raised about this one!

"It"! You mean you only had one b@ll?

Not if you set it up properly before running any of the options!

Stuff the Indians!! It was the first day of school in the USA, and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said, ‘Give me Liberty, or give me Death’?” She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up. “Patrick Henry, 1775,” he said. “Very good! Who said, ‘Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth’?” Again, there was no response except for Chandrasekhar. “Abraham Lincoln, 1863,” said Chandrasekhar. The teacher snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do.” She heard a loud whisper from one of the students: “Stuff the bloody Indians.” “Who said that?” she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up. “General Custer, 1876.”

A disheveled man is busking on the side of the street in London with a sign that says “Falklands War Veteran” A well-dressed man notices this and feels bad, having himself been a veteran of the British Army and saw action in the Falklands. He pities the busker and tells him, “It must be a pity to serve your country and then come home to this. I served in the army, in fact, so I know what it’s like. Maybe this will help you out.” He then gives the man a rather large stack of cash. The busker is overjoyed, and as the well-dressed man walks away, he tells him, “Muchas gracias, señor!”

“Say, old chap, did I ever tell you about the time I was attacked by a Bengal tiger?”“I dare say I’ve not heard that one.”“I decided one summer to try my hand at taking down one of the royal beasts. I hired a guide from the local village and armed with my rifle we set out. Several hours into the hunt and deep in a mangrove swamp we stumbled upon fresh tracks. It was not more than a few minutes of tracking the great beast when we heard it: a low, guttural sound from behind. I quickly turned and as I readied my rifle, the tiger leapt from the shadows, teeth and claws bared, ‘Rrrraaaaaarrrrrr!!!!’ I sh@t my pants.” “Of course I'm not surprised that you sh!t in your pants back then, old chap. You were attacked by a Bengal Tiger!” “No, Not then. Just right now when I went, ‘Rrrraaaaaarrrrr!!!!!’” Oh No!!!

The British Army found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of £1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of £72,000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with £96,000. The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old sergeant-major who, when asked where he would like to be measured, replied, 'From the tip of my penis to my testicles.' It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two officers had received. But the old sergeant-major insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived at the barracks in the UK and instructed the sergeant-major to 'drop 'em', which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the sergeant's penis and began to work back. 'Dear Lord,' The medical officer suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your balls?' The old sergeant-major calmly replied, 'Afghanistan.'

Rubbish you will still get updates, I do!

Maybe to you!

At least he does not seem to "wanna be like you"!