Bday Prang

And the BBC and the uk Labour party the list is endless

of course you haven't however you have chosen a strange thread to argue your case and seek approval for your virtue signalling today

People take advice for all sorts of reasons, they can even make money out of it these days, You are denying peoples' rights to even discuss certain topics illegal immigration being a perfect example , anybody with concerns must be a racist, the same with anybody concerned about gender identity being forced upon young children , they just have to be homo or trans phobic don't they. Like most of these woke holier than thou sorts. I consider your morals to be questionable to say the least

Scum, would that be an offensive word ? Not if directed at those who don't agree with you it would appear

I knew it wouldn't be long for you to give us your "woke 10 bahts worth Racists ,indeed,do not get to change the dictionary but the wokies make a full time job of it The words Bigot, Racist, Fascist, and Nazi for example have been changed by you and those like you, to describe anybody who's ideas do not align perfectly with your own. To the extent that it is insulting to those people who genuinely suffered at the hands of genuine examples

As I said , each to their own , but personally I feel happier with a bit of interaction, there aren't many westerners living within walking distance of me, and I couldn't be very happy with only the mrs to talk to, day in day out. I quite enjoy having a few beers with some of the locals

Not to Christians presumably

It actually has some bearing on the OP. Those who's intention it is to live only in their pattaya condo or similar will probably never be inclined, or feel the need to, integrate into the culture of their wife. Each to their own but personally I think it makes for a strange basis for a relationship. Those who elect to live out in the sticks can look forward to a rather miserable and lonely existence if they choose not to integrate, and should expect to be regarded with suspicion by the locals whom they have decided to live among. A lack of a will to integrate is not the only reason to dislike muslims, but it certainly does not help their case and I can't imagine anybody wishing to be thought of as being like a muslim in that respect

Any body paying money to the mother of a virgin in the village where I live would be a borderline pedophile and guilty of grooming they seem to start popping the kids out at very young age

I pretty much agree with everything you wrote in the above, and previous posts in this thread, although as foreigners certain aspects and courtesy's of the sin sot negotiations are not really an option for us. As you said traditionally the in-laws meet prior to the wedding and reach a figure through presumably polite negotiations. It's unlikely that any foreigner's parents would be invited to. or indeed able to contribute to such negotiations. Generally from what I've seen a figure is dreamed up, based on what others in the village have allegedly received and the prospective husband is expected to pay what ever they have arrived at. The only person likely to negotiate on his behalf is his future wife, that kind of knocks things out of balance a bit Years ago a guy I knew was planning to marry, and the wife's parents were eager to negotiate, he was advised by a Thai bloke that he "knew" that the only way forward was for him (the Thai guy) to accompany him to the wife's parents house and negotiate for him, as otherwise he would be taken to the cleaners, He readily agreed, thinking this would give him a stronger bargaining position, What he didn't realise was that the Thai guy he allowed to accompany him actually hated him with a passion. The girls family apparently were the poorest he had ever seen , and lived in absolute poverty, however after his advocate had "skillfully negotiated" on his behalf (for a fee as well) they were the eventual recipients of 300,000 baht and 10 baht of gold. ( I kid you not) The wedding took place with the bride and groom having the first dance to their favorite song "red red wine by UB 40" little did he know how ironic that choice of music would become Fast forward less than a month , she slipped a bit of rohypnol into his red red wine, and with the assistance of the father of one of her kids, stole his motorbike , computer, and around 100,000 baht in cash He wouldn't let it lie , not that I blame him for that, but having her caught, and put in prison cost him even more, and he never got his money back.

To the OP you have referred to pressure from the wife's "family" is it just her mother and father making these demands, or are other family members involving themselves ? Also do you currently live in the same house as them ? If so the atmosphere must be strained to say the least, and you really should consider moving out , perhaps you could move a bit closer to work

Not strictly true and certainly not applicable in practice when a westerner is involved. You really should not base your "understandings" on links from the internet, they substantiate nothing especially concerning matters of this nature Any way come on How much did you pay ? Or are you now embarrassed to say , now that you realise its not compulsory? Maybe you were exempted due to the reasons you quoted above ?

On an inflated sense of self importance, and quite possibly a lack of information regarding his own wife's past, and the false belief that she learnt to speak english in primary school

That has nothing to do with anything, but no doubt you feel a little bit better having made such a snobbish assumption

That's one way of putting it,

Probably because respect here only really works one way , respect is only shown to those considered "superior" in status which invariably means those with more money. with the theoretical exception of monks. To be honest I have never known a people so adept at grovelling when its considered appropriate. Unfortunately our status, as foreigners, has already been cast in stone, generally speaking , our perceived wealth can only buy us "token respect" at best.

Why did you buy a fat ugly and stupid one?

That's the way to do it, nice move indeed. Things might get a bit awkward when granny pops her clogs and the others discover what's happened, Probably best to avoid the funeral , or at least consider leaving before the serious drinking starts.

He has already stated clearly that his future wife is not in favour of the dowry

So come on then , how much money did you pay , and how much gold ?

If you think this only happens in Isaan you are very much mistaken. If you think this always happens in Isaan you are also very much mistaken.

she should not, but even if he continues to pay, granny will inevitably suffer, as she will be put under pressure to subsidise the others

It absolutely will not, they might stop asking him, but if they believe there is money to be had , they will simply apply more pressure to his wife if that's the kind of people they are

That is indeed what people say but in Thailand, money is a damn sight thicker than blood, in case you haven't noticed

Of course it isn't, and that is not what I said or meant. Which was that the family, in an attempt to gain face , may well have exaggerated the OP's wealth and the allowance paid This sort of gossip travels round the village like a dose of covid, with the amounts often increasing further due to the inflationary effects of "chinese whispers" Eventually the gossipers notice that the allegedly well subsidised family have done nothing to display (confirm ) their new found wealth and tongues start wagging again, leading to a possible loss of face I've seen that happen a few times