Mr Jones

Excellent .... I've read that one before.

Does the same thing work in Thai script?

does for me

(To use the quote function, the first tag should just say [ quote ], with no / preceeding it. Only the end tag should contain the / - [ / quote ]. Minus the spaces, obviously. Cheers, Meadish)

jus fou you

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I had an old bag of a school teacher always pulling me up about my spelling, she informed me that there where plenty of spell checkers for free on the internet.

I won she never pulled me again about my splling

News flash.

Steven G not playing either

news flash

hes on the bench stomach bug

Aussie’s

Have you tried replying to the emails?

As I know that the majority of our friends do not own a computer I suspect it was sent from our condo by someone staying there.

Ah, ah you do suspect it is true.

Now why would someone living in your condo want to kill the milch cow?

Your being wound up bro and its working.

Rabbit pie and vegemite, the staple diet of Oz.

why don't you tell your wife that you have been getting these emails.

then, as i suspect, she will know who is sending the emails and sort it out.

, little shitsters all escaped and ran away.

- LIVERPOOL -Royal Thai Consulate, 35 Lord Street, L2 9SQ Tel: 0151 255 0504 Fax: 0151 255 1070

A fairy told a married couple: "For being such an exemplary married couple for 35 years, I will give you each a wish."

" I want to travel around the world with my dearest husband" said the wife.

The fairy moved her magic stick and abracadabra! Two tickets appeared in her hands.

Now it was the husbands turn. He thought for a moment and said:

"Well this moment is very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime. So....I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.

The wife was deeply disappointed but, a wish was a wish.

The fairy made a circle with her magic stick and ....abracadabra!...Suddenly the husband was 90 years old.

Men might be b*stards

But fairies are.....Female!!

What a load of Bullshit

You just could't make that lot up

Can’t answer for anyone else, but I intend to move away from the UK when I retire, there are lots of reasons and some are.

My pension I have paid into for 50 years is so low I will about exist on it.

My last winters gas/heating bill was £800 for 5 months

The capitol I have in my house will keep me in comfort for the rest of my life in Thailand.

So with my pension and a few quid a suitcase on wheels passport and living in Thailand has to be better than warming my thermals on a radiator before I go out in the freezing cold for a pint that costs £2.50 or a fish supper that costs £4

Les

3 guys sitting in a bar on holidays in Mallorca. A Scotsman, an Italian and an Irishman. They've been there all day and have become quite close. They all agree that this could easily be the best bar in the world....

Alex, the Scot, is first to try & correct this. Alex says: 'Ye know fellas, I've really enjoyed this afternoon on the pish. This is a great wee bar an' all, but I have to say, it disnae come near my favourite wee bar in Fife. Ye go in, buy a pint, buy another pint and on every 3rd pint, the barman gives it to you on the house. No' bad, eh? 3 pints for the price of 2!"

'Si', says Cesare, the Italian, 'this is sounds very good - but it does not come near my favourite little bar, "Bar Giovanni's" in Roma. You enter the bar, and buy a drink, Si?

Then, when you go again to the bar, Giovanni insists on paying for the next one. All night it is the same. You buy a drink, Giovanni buys a drink.....by the end of the night, you've had every second drink for free'.

'Jaysus, dat's brilliant' says PJ, the Irishman. 'But still and all - it comes nowhere near my favourite bar in Dublin.

Ye go in - right - and order a pint. It's free of charge. Ye order a second pint. Free of charge. Ye order a 3rd, 4th and 5th pint, and they're all free of charge. Yer gettin' pretty bollixed by this stage, so you move onto the shorts. Vodka. Free of charge. Whiskey, again free of charge......the whole night ye sit there drinking free of charge and then - when you can drink no more, - they bring you out the back to the kitchen, and get you laid!".

'That's unbeleivable!' says Alex.

'Yes' says Cesare "Is unbelievable.........did this happen to you PJ?'

'Ah no' says PJ 'but it happened to me sister'.

You Said it Boy.

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters."

This is very subjective, if you where to ask my tea total brother, who once drank a bottle of scotch and 6/7 pints of Guinness every day and is an alcoholic, he would say, zero. Then give you a lecture on the evil drink.

I know of plenty of very old people that swear that their nightly tot keeps them young and healthy.

As for scrapping you liver, well it can happen to anyone but liver damage is reparable providing it is not totally diseased.

It is down to you what amount you drink and what is a healthy amount, regarding what you drink it matters nowt to your body, it’s the amount of alcohol you ingest.

Bottoms up

Les

Ps asking a doctor for advice wont help, doctors have a higher number of alcoholics than any other profession.

I am realy tired tyred I think the word I'm looking 4 is pickled

I ask once more how much will a Buff bufal bison cost?

les

And when you find out.

Bill Gates will put you in his WILL

les

Donz

there has to be a good one for me

sick buffilo moma sick

by the buy how much does a buffelow cost?

and yes i have had a drink pr thrree

come Monday it wont be Pakistan it will be

Islam

and the pricks will be ??

well I'm a nice 62 yo farang looking fo a bride

I'm minted

own house paid for

single

money in the bank

never hit a women in my life

and as ugly as sin (fat old and wrinkely)

what are my chances

Les

Joe leased an apartment and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe, Joe smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. Poor Joe broke out into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."

He followed her into her apartment, she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nud_e, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"

Flustered and embarrassed, Joe finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears!"

Astounded and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts, they are full and 100% natural! I work out every day! My butt is firm and solid! Look at my skin no blemishes anywhere! How can you feel the best part of my body is my ears?!"

Clearing his throat, Joe stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming?......

That was me."

Have I missed somthing?

The idea of a colour test is to keep people off the road who cant distinguish colours ie red green lights.

would you like to be going through a green light when someone cant see a red light at a cross road?

strange people

one like this