Mr Jones

I want you.

I need you.

Aint no way I'm ever gonna Love.

Don't be sad

Two out of three aint Bad

Cheltenham 3-2 Millwall

Sorry fxm88 I don’t want to be picky but the passengers quarters are built as “owner’s quarters”

The officers accommodation as well as the crews is decided in the design of the ship, a typical UMS ship will still carry a captain and three deck officers, a chief engineer officer and three engineer officers and a few cadets.

As for passengers to keep crew company??? What? The reason they carry passengers is for profit, I have never known a shipping company since a ship sailed over the horizon give a sh1t about the crew, they are in it for profit and no other reason.

International crew = the worst sailors in the world = cheep

UMS = unmanned machinery space = less engineers = no watch keepers = less wages to pay out.

I could go on but na

Me a syndic prove it

Lez

type "Barry Groves" in your search engine i thing his site is second-opinion.com

then read on

Don't Get Mad, Get Leslie.

what did I do?

[quote name='tourleadersi'

I would put a wager on the fact that it was an attempt to make you ladies chuckle and have a smile in an otherwise busy working day.

Yes.

Also it was sent to me from an ex whos life was crippled by PMS

I don't like the UEFA cup or the Champions League.

Yours, a dissolusioned, bitter, city fan

I Do

I have read this thread through the eyes of an ozzie and thought it so bloody funny

you 2 need to go back to the airport and pick up your sence of humour from left luggage

Subject: UCLA Study

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed

that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending

on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged

and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal,

she tends to be more attracted to a man with a spear lodged in his chest

and tape over his mouth while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected.

It is olny a bit of fun Love you Les

Hurricane Katrina relief

Ever keen to aid our allies in the US, the UK is sending two planeloads of Liverpudlians to help with the looting.

Jazz up your treadmill workout!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv5zWaTEVkI

This farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks

badly. So, he goes down the road to the next farm and asks if they have

a rooster that they would sell. The other farmer says, "Yes, I've got

this great rooster, named Kenny.He'll service every chicken you've got,

no problem." Trouble is, Kenny the rooster costs $3,000, a lot of money,

but the Farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Kenny. The farmer

takes Kenny home and sets him down in the barnyard, but first he gave

the rooster a pep talk. "I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a

lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money.

Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and

Have some fun," the farmer said, with a chuckle. Kenny seems to

understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house and Kenny takes

off like a shot. WHAM! Kenny nails every hen in the hen house - three or

four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that, the farmer

hears a commotion in the duck pen and, sure enough, Kenny is in there.

Later, the farmer sees Kenny after a flock of geese down by the lake.

Once again - WHAM! - All the geese get it. By sunset he sees Kenny out

in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught and

worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the night. Sure

enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next morning to find

Kenny on his back out in the middle of the yard, mouth open, tongue

hanging out and both feet sticking straight up in the air with Buzzards

circling overhead. The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colourful

and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Kenny, I told you

to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've

done to yourself."

Kenny slowly opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky

above and says,

"Shut it, you're scaring the talent away."

this is a very old one and many people fall for it.

greedy people or those that want somthing for nothing are an easy catch.

2000Euros is a very good price 66/day all inclusive,

have a good trip

Les

Ladyboy Robs Indian Tourist.

One of their number decided it would be interesting to see what all the fuss was about with regard to these men who dress as women and went off to a hotel room for a closer physical inspection of the lady boy’s hidden charms.

-Pattaya City News

Wednesday 23rd Aug 2006

Ye like thet dont have Ladtboys in India.

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in the bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"Why of course," comes the reply.

The first man then asks, "Where are you from?"

I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.

The first man responds, "You don't say. I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."

"Of course," replies the second man, and they both pour back their drinks.

Curious, the first man then asks, "Where in Ireland are you from?"

"Dublin," comes the reply.

"I can't believe it says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin!" The men both continue drinking.

Curiosity strikes again and the first man asks, "What school did you go to?"

"St. Mary's," replied the second man. "I graduated in '62."

"This is unbelievable," the first man says. "I went to St. Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"

About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."

----------------------------------------

Two dogs were sitting in a vet's office. The bigger of the dogs gruffs, "Whatcha doing here?"

The little dog responds, "I'm getting 'fixed'. Whenever I see my mistress I get so horny I just jump on her leg and start pumping. It's very embarrassing."

The first dog says, "Yeah, I know what you mean. One morning my mistress had just got out of the shower, and was sitting on the side of the bed. She leaned down to pick up her clothes from the floor, and I couldn't resist it... I jumped up and starting taking her from the rear!"

The second dog exclaimed, "Wow! So you're here to be fixed too?"

"No no, I'm having my claws clipped"

Aussie’s

watch your self cobber,

i must inform your goodself, that aussies are strait up, dinky die, cracking brilliant fella's.

cheers mate

I know, I lived with the Bludgers for four years

I worked as a Blacksmith

I guess F1 knows bugger all about relaxation or ships accommodation.

Immigration and customs will arrive on your ship shortly after docking, the Captain will have radioed Immigration informing them of all passengers and crew, you will not be allowed to leave the ship until all formalities have been completed.

You must remember your visa starts the day of issue so any time at sea must be taken into consideration and sailing dates can and do change so be aware that you could overstay your visa.

Would you please tell how much the sea trip costs?

eine gute Reise haben

les

Lorra Lorra Fun

Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson, and bragged that despite being 72 years of age, he could still have sex 3 times a night.

Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued. After the show, Cilla said, "Sean, if I'm not bein too forward, I'd luv to 'ave sex with yer. Let's go back to my ouse, we could 'ave a lorra fun."

So they went back to her place. After a couple of drinks they went off to bed and had an hour of mad passionate sex together.

Afterwards, Sean says, "If you think that wash good, let me shleep for half an hour, and we can have better shex. But while I'm shleeping, hold my bawls in your left hand and ma wullie in your right hand".

Cilla looks a bit perplexed, but says, "Alright, chuck". He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex than before. Then Sean says, "Shilla, that was wonderful. But if you let me shleep for an hour, we can have the besht shex yet. You'll have to..."

"I know, Sean. Yer want me to 'old onto yer bat 'n balls again. No problem, hun." Cilla complies with the routine. The results are absolutely mindblowing.

Once it's all over, they have a drink, Sean lights a cigarette and Cilla asks "Sean, tell me, dis 'oldin yer balls in one hand and yer willie in de other - does it really stimulate yer dat much?"

Sean replies, "No, not at all Shilla, but the lasht time I shlept with a Scouser, the bitcsh shtole ma wallet!"

it was close but 1 --1 will do.

whos next?

les

Oh ye of little faith