Prubangboy

This one hour/sex thing seems to be the major sticking point, now that my soup with hookers gambit has been airily waved away. How much time do you want to spend with this person? What non-sex activities do you seek? Why, rationally-speaking would they want to do them with you? Do you see yourself perhaps releasing doves from a cage at a temple? Because I want you to have very special moments like that. What else in on the good times agenda that doesn't involve condoms?

I am trying to book Bhutan and everyone is still quoting $200. When I ask why, they don't answer.

What about going to the same hooker several times, or even regularly on an on-going basis? You know, getting to know her, taking her out for big bowls of soup like they like? Pros: Easy to implement, they're mostly nice people, soup is cheap. Cons: They are flat out hookers, not grey area hookers like you prefer.

You always hear about 'Islam, but wha' about 'er lamb? (Bernard Manning was a comedy god).

-And yet, and yet, hanging around in coffee shops, disco's and approaching little hotties at the mall can some how be done invisibly? The best trolls on this thread were the wits who urged you to skulk around in college libraries: "Mistah, why you no can find book"? Are you in a dead bedroom situation? My sympathy, been there, done that. But many are as well, and are seeking your kind of relationship. I don't think the sugar lifestyle forum is wrong; it exactly replicates the ups and downs of these relationships as I observed them with my relative and her friends. You sound like my friend who was trapped in a bad marriage and wanted a long-term female hook up. I said, "walk me through this, who is this woman who's attractive and sexual, but finds married-you to be her best option out of many?" He said: "Maybe someone who's husband is dying of cancer". I said; "God just did not make enough of them to go around. And a lot of them will be fatties. Plus, a lot mopey whining about the cancer". His plan made more sense than your's. Who is this woman who wants to sit on your old (but fit) face, when so many other better and less complicated faces beckon? What's your monthly budget for said face-sitting?

It's hilarious that he don't use the brains that God gave him and just go to an internet Sugar dating site. But noooo, he wants to meet his little nymph in the wild, at a coffee bar perhaps. Why won't anyone tell him where this magic coffee bar is? He's asking outright: where is the coffee bar? Is this moribund website only fit for dentist recco's and solar panel discussions? He looks late 30's and is fit. He's done his part . The women are waiting. At the coffee bar. Why won't you c-blockers tell him where it is?

Think about Pot Bars. These are venues where the old, the young, and the implausible 'I look late-30' and fit"-types commingle freely, hopefully non-creepily. I have seen it happen. But you have to love smoking a lot of pot. And buying a lot of pot that you'll see young Thai guys sucking down too. You might come up empty. That's why loving smoking a lot of pot is essential to this plan.

The only really funny Buddhist joke: Wherever you go, there you are. Re-invent away, it's still crazy old you.

The Chiang Mai one above is well-regarded. They have a 2 day package with river rafting and wearing hill tribe clothes for a cooking class, so a total all-rounder. 2 rave reviews from people who did it. I'd rather poke my own eye with a stick. This topic is beaten to death on other forums, so do a search.

Def read that forum. The women get mad when they're taken out to a nice restaurant instead of just having the cash handed directly to them. The derogatory term is "experience daddy". They have a term: PPM, which means pay per meeting. Those meetings are not describing lunch meetings. Problem: YOU can give them more money, but THEY can't really generate any more interest in you. On the forum, the man typically becomes more needy and the woman very naturally wants to monetize that. They one of them ends up on the forum complaining and getting the harsh medicine from their brethren (or sister-men). A decent-looking woman does not exactly have to go out searching with bloodhounds for strings-free sex, at any age, or even attractiveness level. Such a person would be option-rich. How are you a top 5% option? Because at least 20 other guys are approaching her. Short version: Be pragmatic, expect to be very spendy, and def read about BPD, which is rampant among women who do this. Also, expect these relationships to last less than 4-6 months.

I recco reading a sugar lifestyle forum to read about sugar relationships that worked out and had a long run. I had relative that was a sugar baby. Here's what I learned from her 5 year run. She aged out of it; 20-24 in the golden sugar career years. She dragged it out till 26, but she was a stunner. Best success is with a student with an end date. 2nd best is a mentor relationship where you're helping her with some dull, codependent problem, like helping her leave a bad home. You want a sex relationship with someone who's not really into you, but you don't want it to be in any way "transactional". Think of how unrealistic that is, and read (here too) about people who threaded that needle. Hint: they went with less hot sugar babes who were more needy of the relationship. Sugar Babies ARE sex workers, and the same brutal math applies: you want the most hot sex and GF experience time together that you can squeeze out for your financial support. They want to deliver the least amount of sex because they're not that into you and they'd like to spend less -never more time- with you, and always keep inching up that sugar payment at the same time. I saw this conundrum play out on the board and in my personal family situation over and over again. One side would up the ante and the other would bounce. Complicating factor: BPD and other mental problems. Def read up on BPD.

Second recco for Dr Lilly. Without local knowledge, pay more in a tourist location. A place say, by the Soi Asoke BTS will be quality.

Def book your visa well in advance. We were promised a four day turnaround, it took eight and we had to write off a flight. Have heard 3 reports of Han Long Bay being mobbed with cruise ships and video's bare that out. Def worth a trip to the Obama/Bourdain noodle place (unless you are politically opposed). You can't toss a rock without hitting good noodles, but that one was worth a special trip.

If like Woodford, try Bookers. Best high end: Four Roses single vat, Blanton's (of Kentucky Derby mint julep fame). Best mid-range: Old Grand Dad. Best cheapies: George Dickel and Rebel Yell (from which the song derives). Best artistic label on a cheapie bottle: Old Crow. Best celebrity bourbon for 20 minutes: Whiskey River by Willie Nelson. Best use of bourbon: Whiskey Sour. Best irritating nitpick: pointing out that Jack Daniels is not bourbon.

Good chat but was hoping for more about the predicament of trying to spend a lot of money in Thailand. I was excited when I got here about the prospect of staying a 5 star hotel of $200. But that's really more like $450. And when I did, it was not like staying in an upscale hotel in the west: passable buffet, decent, not great, in-house restaurant. Very slow service. $200 gets you a luxury hotel for Chinese people, which is fine, but if I'm going down that route, I'd prefer to be among the Japanese, if only for the dining. Always ultra-strict check in times with the J's, tho. I've found $100 a night in BKK to be the best luxury to comfort ratio. I like The Icon and The Bless Residence along Suk Road. Beyond that level, the headache factor outweighs the luxury factor. I don't need a bathtub in my room with a picture window so I can wave to people laying on the bed on the other side.

Laos business visa is very iffy to get. Prob have to pay under the table. I had a cultural visa there for six months. It required a donation. Also, in Laos, if they are unhappy with you, they just drive you to a border and send you on your way. No hearing, no nothing. 2 Christians were handing out Jesus DVD's in Vientiane. They were relieved of their dvd's, allowed to collect their luggage, and dropped at The Friendship Bridge. So a little insecure as a residence. Rent's in Sakanavet? Prob not a lot of places to rent.

My building gets a ton of them air BNB-ing (Chiang Mai). Mostly couples. They def love their weed. I see more and more weed stores with some Chinese lettering out front. Pai now has more Chinese signs too. They can fly direct to Chiang Mai, so a lot of them skip Bangkok. There's an old famous Chinese comedy where 2 idiots chase each other for the valuable whatever in various Chiang Mai locals and it still motivates people to come. If I look at a Google Map, 80% of the Chinese restaurant in CM are in Nimman. To me, Chinese is the heaviest, oiliest, most blah of Asian cuisines. I really only like the Manhattan kind.

I helped write environmental impact reports for NYC Subway. Mostly, those reports were never seen by even a single human eye. But stuff like old oil from buses storage and lead paint removal is important. At a certain point, oil storage depot relocations and old paint chipping off of a bridge becomes interesting. Gov analysts are the most cynical people alive, so a joy to work among. Left and right are united in 100% hatred of the grandstanding politicians slowing down important bus stop signage changes, just to put their stupid thumb on the scale.

Had some apple fritters at Chiang Mai Ram Hospital today, the only thing that was open. Like tempura mushy apples. A one and done, but very satisfying (90 baht for four small ones).

I did two 90 day, one 60 day, a couple of 30's. And a dozen 10's in meditation retreats all over the world. Truthfully? Unless you are naturally gifted as a meditator, it's diminishing returns, just as it would be if you were a bog standard average player who keeps going back to tennis camp. I like where I've gotten to, I don't expect to move the dial much more pre-death without a serious time commitment that I would not make. Anyone who puts in 2 years+ is in the ballpark of a famous in the west meditation teacher. It would be like having a BA in meditation. And then also have the ability to really compel people AND be an effective teacher. That's about .0002% of all meditators. Prob 50 of them on earth. I've been with 3 who really, really had it.

Not getting the clothing complaints. An Izod polo shirt costs the same as in America. A Central Dept Store one costs the same as Walmart (and is a little better). Muji is my go-to for everything else. I find it hard to spend fifty bucks a day here out of pocket, and that's factoring in a Starbucks brekkie and a sushi dinner. For two. AND there's a few $30-40 days in the week when we just order in vegan or pad thai from the good place (Ging Gri in Nimman). For me, the biggest luxury letdown in Thailand has been upscale dining. Unless you're going for the higher end of seafood in a nice place, you really top out quality/value-wise at 3-500 baht. There's a limit to how creatively they can do up those Khao Soi Noodles (Khao Soi Nimman is worth the extra dollar). I don't pretend my sushi lunches are moving the Thai economy. Every last whitie dollar spent by every last whitie amounts to a rounding error in an economy this size. I'm the opposite of the OP: I will never buy a property, a car, or possess any household goods totaling even $1,000. Money is piling up back home. To have every last thing I want, good medical care, lots of personal services, and still see my bank account rise every month means that I have hit the ceiling of what I can materially absorb in life. Whatever % that puts me in is meaningless. Buddha was asked what should wealthy householders who have given to their families, servants, and the monkhood do next. Buddha said, "Abide". Which I take to mean chill. I'm on it, B-man.

Laos is only very superficially communist. It's more of an oligarchy of descendants of the 4 families -who may or may not have been war hero's in the Vietnam War, since their stories are unverifiable. All Lao of all political persuasions happily accepted money from all sides, and at all times. And still do. The USA still tosses them $3M a year for landmine removal. Given these outlays for 50 years and that not that much of the country was bombed, it strains credibility. For all it's trouble and expense, Laos has consistently refused to sign on to the global no landmines effort. Nor were they were ever particularly ideologically aligned with the Vietnamese, who vie with China to control them. Nor did the Lao army fight much (beyond dodging bombs) during the Vietnam War. The Vietnam considered them to be unfit to fight. The Vietnam connection runs deep; 70% of the country is Lao Loum, which means of Vietnamese descent. I read The Little Green Book of Kheopethom, their home-grown Mao. It was clearly written in Moscow. It's page-long paragraphs of boiler plate marxism that would be just as at home in Latin America. It doesn't even mention Laos. To the Kremlin, indigenous people were and still are interchangeable. Moscow always had a racist relationship with it's SEA little brothers. When awe struck Ho Chi Minh managed to snag an autograph from Stalin, Stalin had a minder go and take it back from him, who he referred to as The Monkey-man.

As a person who has been an extreme helper in my life, I have found that the help-ee always resents you a little.

The OP seems to suffer from a lot of anxiety and depression. I hope he opts for some mood medicine. And I worked in a huge hospital at a stupid job for a while -truly soul-killing. And he's winding down in Australia and uncertain about his future. I have a lot of empathy for him. Thankfully, that empathy does not preclude pointing out what a plonker her is.