ArranP

My Thai wife is on an FLR visa, I have moved out and we are living seperatly, I am looking into divorce on grounds of "unreasonable behaviour" and understand It is my responsibility to notify the VISA people we are seperated.

Will she be allowed to stay in the UK and claim public funds ? We have a 9 month old child born in the UK.

Regards

Arran.

Once she gets her ILR visa, or you seperate (and notify the VISA people 0870 606 7766 you have seperated ) which ever is sooner , then she is entitled to public funds ie housing benefit, council tax benefit and income support as a single mum. You'll probably have to contribute about £55 or £60 per week for the child (or the equiv in euros)

She can continue to rent your place but you will have to get the rent agreement in her name only.

Then you can continue seeing each other maybe when it pleases you on a "trial seperation basis" no pressure.... you got you own houses to go back to.

If all else fails, you can divorce on grounds of "unreasonble behaviour" or "two-year sepration with consent" with your spouses agreement, google "diy divorce" or something like that, its not expensive.

I'm in a similar position, my wife punches me, bites me, throws furniture and bottles at me, screams, trys to contact thai fellas, but doesn't want to leave me. I really don't know how she expects us to live like this. We have a beautiful daughter. I've had enough moved out and currently living in our caravan, haven't spoken with her in days and don't really want to, happy enough as I am.

I tend to lean toward the positive story, and am in the process of moving my capital from USD into GBP.

Merry Christmas all

:D Are you being bloody serious or pulling a few hundred legs here ?

You might as well start bringing water into the Pacific Ocean...

LaoPo

I guess everyone choses their own particular brand of poison Lao, mine is a good Merlot or Cabernet though I do concurr with your sentiments however, anyone moving their Dollars or Euros into Sterling at this time, definately are in need of some serious financial counseling

I moved my capital from GBP into USD at 1.97 in June 2007, I'm moving my capital into GBP from USD December 2008/January 2009 at approx 1.48, so I'm locking-in what is already a substantial gain.

Lets comg back to this at the end of 2009, maybe I will be wrong and need conselling :-) but will hold off on making my appointment for now. :-) always keen to learn and thanks for your input :-)

At the moment from my perspective I have your goodself and maybe a few other people on this forum in the USD strength camp with many stratigists on Bloomberg in the USD weakness camp for end of 2009.

I think the main difference between you and these stratigists on Bloomberg is they believe the economic will pick up toward the end of 2009, ie a recession of approx 4 qtrs but not a depression, whilst I think you believe it will take longer?

GBP does seem to be doing well, and after all, I think I will not be in need of serious financial counseling as VegasVic thought.

I do think going forward, countries at some piont will begin to increase their base rate, as and when they do their respective currency will strengthen proportionatley to other currencies.

I travelled EVA direct from LHR and Emirates from Manchester via Dubai, I would not choose to go Emirates again because of the stop-over, there is 1 hour extra flight time which I think is due to the descending and ascending time and maybe Dubai is not on the direct path.

I would rather hire a rental car, drive the 3 hours to heathrow and fly direct, cannot be doing with stopping once I get going.

Any date/time changes to the return flight on EVA are free, where as Emirates charge 75 GBP.

On the way back last time, my wife and I decided to change our return date/time and go last minute, we flew that night from BKK landed Dubia at 04:30 in the morning, then had a 10 hour waiting until 14:30 for our flight to Manchester, all be it glad to Emirates that the managed that at the last minute but would not like to do it again, was abolsutley shattered when got back home.

Also, when flying with a baby means you have to packup all your bags, take the baby out the cot, get the baby food ready, etc.etc. then start all over again on the next plane, few too much. Direct for me please.

I'm no expert on this, but can you not get a divorce by default after 3 years of seperation ?

You have to put your life first and live it they way you choose to do as your happiness or unhappiness will reflect onto your son and others... "let the chips fall where the may" and deal with the consequences as and when they happen in the best way you know how, this is all you can ask of yourself. You cannot control what she is going to do 5 or 6 steps down the road, you can only know what you want or are going to do next!

You can get a divorce by reaching an agreement between yourselves, if this is not possible then you need someone else to arbitrate for you ie. a judge.

Continue to pay child support if you want to keep an access to your son, if you don't pay child-support (I maybe wrong) but this would increase the risk of you loosing access to your son, the amount changes on circumstance and location but 16K is one of the larger amounts I've heard.

Last few months have been pretty rocky in my marriage and it looks like it is time to get some outside help. Looking for some kind of marriage counseling in the Bangkok area for a US/Thai family. Anyone have any suggestions???

I was told by "Tilleke & Gibbins" a top solicitor firm in Thailand, that in some 5 star hospitals they have or can refer you to this type of service. Otherwise, typically in Thailand they don't have.

Maybe give T&G a call and ask, they were friendly to me.

My 8 month old daughter (together with me and her mother) went to Thailand for 1 month in February and 2 months recently, we just got back 2 weeks ago. We've stayed in Nakhon Sawan, Pattaya, Phuket. She played with everybody adults and children, everyone wanted to and did hold her, we only took care to boil water before using it in her feed and she was fine the whole time.

We were back in the UK one week and she fell really ill with temperature, watery poo, vomiting, I think she caught Swine Flu from the kids next door. Glad to say after a course of Tamiflu (suspension) she is now ok.

Maybe its better to be in Thailand than here in UK??

Well done!! muaylaosfalang, I'm pleased to hear your are all getting back together, one score for the happy camp :-)

BTW, my daughter, wife and myself have all re-united and since travelled back to the UK.

I don't understand how you can not see something like this coming up? Seriously, do you live with your eyes closed? I seriously doubt Thai women just decide one day to quit it. Either you guys were completely oblivious or you got children with bad girls.

Either way, quit whining, work your ass off for a month and go to Thailand and get your daughter. Too many people on here like to assume the farang victim position, be a freakin man and go do what you have to do.

If it was my child being taken from me you bet I would get on a plane asap.

Hammer I was in a similar position, however different to the OP I was acutally in Thailand.

I could'nt bring myself to prise my daughter away from her mother, as her mother was willing to hurt the daughter to physically keep hold of her where I was not. Maybe this is my failing.

Also it is not a good idea to hurt the mother physically in any way as this may lead to a one way trip to the Thai jail and how usefull would I be to my daughter in there.

Its just to mention its not as easy as one first thinks.

The positive way in these cases, is go via the solicitors then its all above board nobody getting hurt, physically that is including the child. Or as the OP has done try to talk the mother round.

After reading the book "Thailand Fever - A Road Map to Western Thai Relationships".

I can understand Farrang Culture promotes "Independance", whilst my experience of Thais is they all sleep together until 12 or 13 years old.

We still sleep together with our 8 month old daughter, however my personal preference is for her to have her own bedroom, my belief is she will disturb less during the nights and learn begin to recognise privacy with her own bedroom, which are farrang cultural traits.

So you want her out more than she wants out herself? Won't you miss your little baby, not being able to see him grow up?

How about you rent her a cheap place not far from your home, so you can still see your baby. Maybe the added distance helps to get some peace back into your relationship.

mm .. typed a long reply to this .. but scrubbed it all as its getting to personal.

i will miss baby, but there is nothing i can do at this stage. who knows where the future leads. i know she will let me visit him at her parents house.

i am trying to do immediate damage limitiation. issues like that can be dealt with after.

my aim is to acomodate her wish to go. the last thing i want is to live with a TG who is like an enemy in the camp.

to have her stay would be like saying i know you don''t love me tilak but i don't care i'm such a sad individual that i'd prefer to have you here regardless.

i cannot imagine fixing this as i will never know if the motive for remaining is to dig in more or not.

the trust is gone if you like, and without that , what is there left.

i cannot however meet her demands for the lump sum , and she will not belive that the farang does not have hidden assets.

so how do i take the matter into my own hands and get her out.

Wether she loves you or not, she is still going to want money as she has to take care of herself and her child. this is not something against you, or I think something you can rely on as an indicator of her love for you. love alone is not going to feed you.

She is asking for a lump sum, maybe because she is doing this and knows that you cannot pay it because she actually wants to stay ...???

Maybe she is just trying/struggling to "save face", she has principles too!! In my relationship, its been my experience that the thai partner will argue, even un-reasonably so and detrimental to herself, just to "save face"!!

Be nice to her for a couple of weeks, that means no arguing even if she does initiate the argument and even if you do feel it is unfair, keep your voice low ( always ) and an even tone. Just nodd and say yes or sorry, let things pass you by, don't react, you will probably notice a change in her attitude to you improve.

Have your 2 english children arrived recently to thailand to your home here? if so then there has been a recent shift in the cultural setup of your (and her) home environment in favour of farrang culture, maybe she (and you) is/are struggling with this.

food for thought.

Hello,

Whats the nearest I can expect to get to a British Education / Curriculum being taught in Nakhon Sawan?

My daughter is only 7 months at the moment, probably the biggest problem preventing me moving to Nakhon Sawan (my wifes home town) is my daughters education, I would like her to study the British Curriculum.

Regards

Arran.

If ever you need to apply for your childs british passport whilst in the UK I think you will then need the British Birth Cert.

Whats the nearest I can get to a British Curriculum in Nakhon Sawan, would even consider hiring full time teacher.

Guys/Gals, is there nothing in Nakhon Sawan and within 25 minutes drive ?

I've seen a house in Nakhon Sawan which is cheap and would buy but the only thing stopping me is the education for my daughter.

If my wife and I stay in Thailand then I want my daughter to study the British Curriculum, but I don't know how it would be possible for my daughter to study the British Curriculum if we are living in Nakhon Sawan.

At the moment, we are together and trying to get along, she seems happy enough and our argments have subsided.

I am very fearful of her taking the baby, therefore I keep very calm and try not to argue, when she does get upset then I apologise to her and tell her I not mean for her to be upset.

This is almost the opposite to how we were when we lived in the UK, when I was not afraid to get angry (for whatever reasons), so I guess the situation is reversed...

We have been together 18 months now.

I gave 10,000. but since have returned to Nakhon Sawan and staying together with my wife and child.

Things are not so good, it is difficult to get along, she has alot of attitude, which I don't like and feel sad at they way sometimes she relates to me.

I have thought alot about just taking of with the baby and how I could get-away. I believe there is no abuduction laws in Thailand, therefore the police do not get involved if one parent dissappears with the child, however I don't know what the laws are or how I stand if I were to try and board a plane to leave the country.

All this said, it is constantly on my mind, that I would not like her to do this to me, and I do want the child to grow up with a mother and father, I just bear it at the moment because there is nothing I can do, to me her attitude is terrible, alot different from the girl I met, and sometimes she don;t wont't to talk if I bring something up, she gets angry and I dare not take it any further as she threatens to leave wit the baby.

My wife and I are currently living seperately, if this continues then how much should I be giving my wife per month for her and the baby ? She is in Nakhon Sawan and our daughter is 7 months.

Regards

Arran.

Thanks to you both.

I plan to give my wife some time to collect her thoughts and choose what she wants to do, If her intention is to break up then I make contact with the lawyers.

It is my preference for my daughter to grow up with her mother and father, however I do not want her to grow up in poverty which is her mothers environment in Thailand.

Thanks for the reply Mario, however at this time, if I may I would not like to digress from my question....

If my wife chooses to "dissappear", can these lawyers find her or do they know people who can ?

Interesting read, I have noted the contact details of the lawyer firm and may have to contact them in the near future.

My wife arrived in Thailand 4 weeks ago, our daughter (british born) and me arrived on a separate flight 1 week ago. We were together in her home town of Nakhon Sawan when my wife told me to leave. I am now in Phuket waiting to see what her intentions are before making my next move, passports are with me.

Reading this article it seems a high probability our daughter would be handed back to me (after a period of time and effort), however if my wife chooses to "dissappear", can these lawyers find her or do they know people who can ?

I know, I was a bit puzzled, @ 1.46 GBP to USD, somone was so sure the GBP was going to devalue further that I was recomended counciling, but alas it came true, the GBP is recovering....

I think things are starting to turn for the USD, maybe all the additional printing of the dollar is causing this dollar weakness, and may also be due to money flows back out of the dollar into equities, as recently observed in stock indices rising and commodities. Six months ago alot of people we were really thinking the GBP was going to tank :-)

USD 1.58 for 1 GBP

THB 54.25 for 1 GBP