fangless

2 hours ago, ballpoint said:

Sorry, again meant to say my god.  I don't believe in Dogs.

Now I understand it.  You must be a member of the dyslectic sex!

A group of bored military officers start talking about whether sex is work or fun

The lieutenant goes first and says, "I feel that making love is 80% fun and 20% work."

Then captain responded by saying, "No, I think that making love is more work than that. I would say that it is 60% fun and 40% work."

Finally, the major says, "No, making love is definitely way more work than that. I would say that it is 20% fun and 80% work."

They are all contemplating these revelations when a private walks by. The officers call the private over to ask his opinion.

The major says, "Excuse me, private, we are having a discussion and would like your input. The lieutenant says that making love is 80% fun and 20% work. The captain says that making love is 60% fun and 40% work. I say that making love is 20% fun and 80% work. Private, what is your opinion?"

The private says, "Well sir, you are all wrong. Making love must be 100% fun, because if there was any work involved, you would have me do it.

A military function is being held where officers of the Army, Navy and the Air force are present.

The Army and Navy officers were describing the Air force as the Cinderella of the military.

To this, the Air force officer replied" I don't know a lot about Cinderella except the fact that she had two ugly sisters".

1 minute ago, ballpoint said:

Sunday's my day of rest.  Wouldn't want to <deleted> my Dog off.

I thought the dog was doing that to you, but anyway I am glad to see that you do have some consideration for it's well being!

Does anyone. and that includes the Thai so called politicians, actually either believe in this claptrap themselves or even think that anyone else does either

3 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Never on a Saturday.  I need to be able to sit down on Sunday.

We are in danger of getting into the "too much info" state , but even so I am intrigued as why it is ok the rest of the week and what the hell goes on (or off) on a Sunday!

PS;  Please rest assured that your answers will be treated in the strictest confidence by ALL TV members.

Sorry.  I read an "All matches will be shown on UK TV" article wrongly and Madmitch is correct.

My humble apologies.

4 hours ago, Peter Denis said:

Are you barking up the wrong tree or just barking mad?

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

I tried to proof read it, but the dog ate my glasses.

After I put my glasses on I realised you had not typed that the poof stuck a dog up your a&se!

2 hours ago, madmitch said:

Yes. In the UK!

My point is that if they are on Free to air in the UK then TV mucho will do the job with pre-recording, or UK catch-ups like BBC 1 player and the ITV one.

Just now, Andrew Dwyer said:

Like how you snuck God into the conversation , very sneaky !!

And I see the Devil is in the detail!

14 hours ago, petedk said:

Now the EPL season is starting and I am looking for a good provider of the games.

I thought all the EPL games this new season were being broadcast free to air due to COVID!

There is still some life in the town as 4 Large tour buses, at least three full (4th had blacked out windows) drove  past the Anantara Complex yesterday and today at 0730 and a fleet of mini-buses are parked outside Anantara at this moment.

PS;  Anantara now occupy the site of the ex UK Consulate compound by the river.

Why don't parents  let their kids listen to Beethoven?

Because of all the violins

What do you call a guerrilla writer who doesn't follow the rules of sentence structure?

A rebel without a clause

Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way!

Andy's wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger, well that is what the sales assistant told her!

After a lengthy sitting before the mirror in the marriage bedroom applying the "miracle" products, she asks her husband, "Darling, honestly, if you didn't know me before, what age would you say I am"?

Looking over her carefully, Andy replied, "Judging from your skin, 25; your hair, 18; your eyes, 22 and your figure, 25."

"Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed.

Just as she was about to tell Andy his reward for such well deserved, in her opinion, flattery, he stops her by saying,

"Whoa, hold on there sweetie! I haven't added them up yet!"

The will reading is next Monday!

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Where are all the white folk that know how to grow the plants?

A bit of a racist comment is it not?

8 minutes ago, anthobkk said:

it was 10 million baht few days ago and now "only" 3 million ?? How come ?

They have now filled the envelopes.

I suspect the Chinese forgot to prefill the brown envelopes and hide them before they emptied the safe.