fangless

Fathers to be 3

4 men sit anxiously outside the maternity unit as they await news on their wives' who are having babies;

The English one says, "My first son was born on St George's Day, so I named him George."

The Scotsman added, "My first son was born on St Andrew's Day, and I decided to name him Andrew."

The Welshman said, "My boy was born on St David's Day, and I just had to call him David!"

The Irishman spoke up, "Ah, sure, it was just the same with our Pancake!"

Fathers-To-Be Two

Four husbands are outside a maternity ward, waiting for the nurse to tell them about the babies their wives gave birth to.

The nurse walks up to the first man and says: Congratulations your wife gave birth to twins! The man says “What a coincidence because I work at a restaurant called 2 cities.”

The nurse walks up to the second man and says: Congratulations your wife gave birth to triplets! The man says “That’s weird because I work at a factory called 3 continents.”

The nurse walks up to the third guy and says: Congratulations your wife gave birth to quadruplets! The man says “That’s very odd because I work at the 4 seasons hotel.”

The fourth man starts crying. One of the men asks: What’s wrong?

The fourth man responds, “I work at 7Up."

The Gaul of it!

Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome?

He was the only one with the Gaul(s) to try it.

52 minutes ago, Upnotover said:

Not in Thailand.

I assume he meant the 90 day report which you can do online (easy and no need to have passport in your possession), not the passport renewal which unlike NZ etc you cannot do online. 

24 minutes ago, JonnyF said:

Stomping on the little guys and handing it over to the big guys.

Isn't it, in some cases, doing the opposite by shifting it from the big online boys back to the Mom and Pop shop.  I am sure the online booze buying is done by people who don't have access to a nearby Big C or Makro.

Despite my comment above I do think it is a stupid and petty restriction.

Have you tried the "Find and Select" function on the Home Tab?

1 hour ago, scorecard said:

Only things missing to make him solidly qualified for the finance minister position:

 

1. Involvement is buying/selling drugs.

2. Jail time in another country. 

You missed out

3.  Dead friend with many gold watches.

15 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

I did return the basket.

What should my punishment be, kind sir?

You will be let off as you are obviously a "basket case".

Sime clarification from you might help.

1. Where are you

2. What is your present visa/extension status

3, What do you want the agent to do

2 hours ago, ubonjoe said:

Perhaps consider applying for a OA long stay visa that is valid for one year from the date of entry and allows unlimited one year entries to day it expires. It is possible to get a total stay of almost 2 years by getting new entry just before it expires.

Is there not an insurance extra (non Covid) with this option or does that only rear it's ugly head on renewal?

Two pilots are on a routine flight.

One is a an English man with over 22 years of experience as a pilot. His co-pilot is a Iranian-American man who started the job just 2 months ago. This was the first time the two have flown together, so small talk is very little.

The Brit guy decides to break the ice. "So, you know anything about nuclear physics?" 

"I'm not really sure," replied the other guy. "But what I don't understand is how in my village the  goat's droppings is in pebbles while a horse's droppings are just giant rocks. These animals are herbivores yet an eagle's droppings are liquid despite being a bird of prey."

The older Brit man was amazed and thanked the rookie for teaching something he did not know, only for the Iranian-American man ask,

"Then how the f99k can we talk about nuclear physics if you don't know sh&t?"

Why did god kill all the herbivore dinosaurs?

He liked his salads a little meteor.

What is a herbivore’s favourite sandwich?

A trees-burger!

11 hours ago, elektrified said:

There are so many inaccuracies in that article...

I think you should have said "inaccuracies in my reading of the OP and attached article".

4 minutes ago, billd766 said:

You will never be lonely as the DeathWatch Beetle will always be there with you.

Did you mean Jeremy Beadle, if so. watch out and I will hand that (little) one to you!