Jump to content

fangless

Advanced Member
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    2,019

  • Joined

  • Last visited

 Content Type 

Posts posted by fangless

    Worst Joke Ever 2024

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

     A girl goes to the doctor’s complaining of a strange mark on her chest.
    When she shows it to the doctor, he sees a letter C imprinted on her breasts.

    “How did you get this?” he enquires.

    “It’s my boyfriend. He wears a medallion around his neck which has a C on the end of it, representing the university he goes to – Cambridge. And when we make love, it presses into me.”

    “Okay, well use this cream twice a day and it’ll soon go away,” says the doctor.

    The next day, another girl visits the surgery. She’s complaining of a strange mark on her chest which is like the letter O.

    “My boyfriend wears a silver O round his neck representing Oxford University and when we have sex, the weight of his body leaves a mark” she explains.

    “I know just what you need,” says the doctor, and he gives her some cream. On the third day, another girl comes in to see him. This one has the imprint of an M on her chest.

    “I know what that is,” says the doctor confidently. “I bet your boyfriend goes to Manchester University.”

     

     

    “Oh no,” she replies, “but I do have a girlfriend at Windsor wild life commune.”

    • Like 1
    • Popular Post
    • Popular Post

    Worst Joke Ever 2024

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    A mum takes her daughter to the doctor
    The doctor says, “Okay, what seems to be the problem?”

    The mother says, “It’s my daughter Suzie. She keeps getting these cravings, she’s putting on weight and is sick most mornings.”

    The doctor gives Suzie a good examination, and then turns to the mother and says, “Well, I don’t know how to tell you this, but Suzie is pregnant. About 4 months would be my guess.”

    The mother says, “Pregnant?!  She can’t be, she has never ever been left alone with a man!  Have you, Suzie?”

    Suzie says, “No mum! I’ve never even kissed a man!”

    The doctor walks over to the window and just stares out of it.

    A few moments later, the mother says, “Is there something wrong out there, doctor?”

    The doctor replies,

     

    "No, not really. It's just that the last time something like this happened, a star appeared in the East and three wise men came over the hill. I'll be damned if I'm going to miss it this time!"

    • Like 3

    Overstay fines to start Tuesday, says Phuket Immigration

    in Phuket News

    Posted · Edited by fangless

    1 hour ago, lopburi3 said:

    1.  Some have personal relationships in Thailand, including marriage and children but unable to legalize stay with closed borders.

    2.  Some have homes here and normally live here most of year.

    3.  Some have drained available funds and can not afford the costs involved for transportation that may be totally lost without any travel.

    4.  Some are very concerned about moving from a low COVID location to extreme pandemic areas.

    5.  Some have normal employment here but unable legalize due border crossing issues.

    6.  Some just like Thailand.

    7.  Some are probably eating the wrong berries.

    8.  Some live only for today.

    So they are not tourists and have not bothered to attempt to legitimize their near permanent residence in Thailand,

    • Like 1
    • Sad 1
    • Haha 1

    Post of the year (NOT Poster of the year POTY)

    in ASEAN NOW Community Pub

    Posted

    21 hours ago, kingofthemountain said:

    I am not sure it's a largely shared opinion among the members

    POTY is an entertaining moment in the forum life for the ones interested by it

    but it needs a rethinking of the model, with crystal clear and logics rules at the start

    a short public friendly competition (like 1 week or 10 days maximum) before the final vote poll (Only one vote should be enough imo, at the end of the 1 week or 10 days)

    I hear exactly what you are saying but I started this thread because  Rimmer (a Global Moderator)  closed a thread in this forum on 16 Sept saying;

    "It is more than likely there will be no more POTY,   all it does is create bad feeling that continues right up to this topic today."

     

    PS; Sorry for the "copy and paste above but I don't know how to do a "formal" quote from a closed topic, the system does not seem to allow it

    • Sad 1
    • Popular Post
    • Popular Post

    Post of the year (NOT Poster of the year POTY)

    in ASEAN NOW Community Pub

    Posted · Edited by fangless

    Since POTY (Poster Of The Year) seems to have become too toxic to hold again why not have a bunch of fun awards for things in the past year like

    Topic Of The Year" (TOTY) in all it's various potential categories e.g.;

    Most Appropriate Response/Post (MAROTY)/(MAPOTY)

    Funniest Post/Response (FUPOTY)/(FUROTY)

    Stupidest  etc, etc.

     

    Any ideas

     

     I would suggest that any posts made after this post would not qualify for anything! except ridicule! Which I expect this post to get anyway!

     

    • Like 4

    Sattahip: Dog tied up and left by the side of the road

    in Pattaya News

    Posted · Edited by fangless

    36 minutes ago, Nanaplaza666 said:

    i hope also every stupid person like the ones that walked past the dog not helping it because they where scared they got bitten will walk past them as well and for me those who walked past without helping can get the same treatment . 

    I have NO sympathy for the criminals who perpetuated this foul act.  If apprehended, and subsequently found  guilty in a court of law they should be given the maximum sentence possible.

     

    I do however have sympathy for those in doubt about approaching the tethered animal as, for all they know, it could have been rabid, etc.

    It is a tough call to make and I do not think we should be too judgemental on those who "walked bye on the other side"!

    • Haha 1
    • Popular Post
    • Popular Post

    Worst Joke Ever 2024

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    Two doctors sitting on a bench at the park
    They see an old man approaching with something obviously wrong on his way of walking. They take a professional interest on him:
    - Look, a clear case of hip replacement gone wrong
    - No, my dear colleague, that is classical sciatic neuralgia
    - I have to disagree with you, that dragging of the leg is clearly indicative of a hip dislocation caused by defective surgeon technique
    - You know I always respect your opinion, but in this case I happen to recognise the tell-tale signs of the shooting pain going down the leg and causing that distinctive careful step
    ...
    As the man reaches them, they decide to ask him:
    - My dear sir, allow us to introduce ourselves, we are doctors and have found ourselves puzzled about your condition. My colleague here thinks you have sciatica and I firmly believe you had a hip dislocation following a hip replacement. Would you please be so kind to tell us which one of us is right?

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

     


    - Well, that makes three of us who got it wrong. I thought it was just a f^rt!

    • Like 1
    • Haha 9

    Worst Joke Ever 2024

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    An Officer is about to brief his men.

     While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the Colonel decides to pose a question to assembled staff.
    He explained his wife had been a bit frisky the night before, and that he failed to get his usual amount of solid sleep.
    He posed a question of how much sex was comprised of "work" verses "fun".

    A Major chimed in that it was 75/25 in favour of work.
    A Captain said 50-50.
    A Lieutenant responded with 25/75 in favour of fun, depending on how inebriated he was at the time.

    There being no consensus, the Colonel turned to the Airman First Class who was in charge of making the coffee and asked for his opinion.
    Without any hesitation, the young AFC responded "Sir, it has to be 100% fun"
    The Colonel was surprised, and as you might guess, he asked for an explanation.

    "Well, sir, if there was any work involved in it, the officers would have all have me doing it for them".

     
    • Like 1
    • Haha 1
×
×
  • Create New...