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fangless

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    Worst Joke Ever 2024

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted · Edited by fangless

    A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.

    The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions." He gets her name, address, Social security number, etc. and then asks, "What's your occupation?"
    "I'm a lady of the night," she says.
    The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, "Lets try to rephrase that."

    The woman says, "Ok, I'm a high-end call girl."
    "No, that still won't work. Try again."
    They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite chicken farmer."

    The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?"
    "Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year."

     

    The accountant says, "A Chicken Farmer it is."

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    Worst Joke Ever 2024

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted · Edited by fangless

    It's a pirate recruit's first day on his new ship.

    As he's familiarizing himself with the crew, he notices an old man with a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. Intrigued by all of these injuries, he walks up to the man.

    "It looks like you've seen quite a bit of action," he says to the old man, "I'd be interested to hear your story."
    "Aye," says the old man, "tis quite a tale."
    "How'd you lose your leg?" Asks the recruit.
    "Aye." Says the old man, "We were in battle, and a cannon shot took me leg off at the knee."
    "That's terrible!" Says the recruit. "How did you lose your hand?"

    "Aye." Says the old man, "We were in a gale and I was tossed into the sea. A shark bit of me hand as I clung to a board, and that's how I got me hook."
    "Alas!" Cried the recruit, "I can't imagine how you got your eye patch."
    "Aye." Says the old man, "Twas a clear day and I look up to watch the clouds when a sea gull flies o're and sh&ts in me eye."
    "Well that's terrible," says the recruit, "but surely sea gull cap doesn't blind you?"

    "Nay." Says the old man, "But twas the first day with me hook."

    • Haha 4

    Worst Joke Ever 2024

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    An Irish priest and a Rabbi get into a car accident. They both get out of their cars and stumble over to the side of the road. The Rabbi looks at the smashed cars and says, "Oy vey! What a wreck, what a wreck!"

    The priest asks him, "Are you all right, Rabbi?"

    The Rabbi responds, "Just a little shaken."

    The priest pulls a flask of whiskey from his coat and says, "Here, drink some of this. It will calm your nerves." The Rabbi takes a swig and shakes his head ruefully, still looking at the cars. They are severely damaged. "Oh, but this will be sooo expensive!" he says.

    "Yeah, well, it's just money, rabbi. Have another swig; in fact you can drink the whole bottle if you like."

    The rabbi nods and drinks most of the bottle, never taking his eyes off the broken cars. Then he turns to the priest and says, "What are we going to tell the police?"

    "Well," the priest says,

     

     

    "I don't know what you're going to be telling them. But I'll be telling them I wasn't the one drinking."

    Worst Joke Ever 2024

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    What do you call a guy who puts his right hand into the mouth of a giant white shark?
    Lefty.

    - What do you call a girl who has three boyfriends named William?
    A Bill collector.

    - What do you call a girl who is very sickly and pale?
    Ashley.

    - What do you call a girl who complains a lot?
    Mona.

    - What do you call a plumber with a toilet on his head?
    Lou.

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