Boater

nice one,

Maybe Tops Supermarket?

both

I like to Haggle

Debt clearing - local style!

dangerous buisness these people get them selves into

As they say, Live by the sword, die by the sword

if no offers added, i bid at 5K

A couple had been married for 50 years.

They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years."

"Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."

"I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago."

"Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we get naked?"

Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.

"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My breasts are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."

"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!

How can you not notice a garbage truck? You can smell them from 200 yards away!

Very True, but maybe he was drunk?

I believe you can get a bus from the bus station in Samui to Krabi, if you drive it is only 2 hours from Donsak to Krabi

I had this promblem before, and no one could get my sound to work.

Turned out it was because they had installed windows incorrectly, when they re installed window the sound worked

just remember it is not un common for Thai Ladys to take all from a ferang !

I believe it was Maynards, but not sure how dangerous they are.

Rowntrees fruit gums are however at the top of the danger list, they get stuck to your teeth very easily.

But what do you expect when you pick up a Hooker from Beach Road

I think it was, but then a few Village chiefs would lose out heavily on there Tea Money, so it never happened

Welcome to Thailand, makes Gordon Brown look a Pro in Politics

22

where is the best place in Rawai?

thats a lot of Yabba!!!!

What will the sentance be?

this one is not bad

Just keep to the funny ones

i love indian curry as well

it is a lot quieter then it was 3 years ago

Bowling Alley ?

dont forget a 12 screen cinema

These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words, not to mention waving middle fingers.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison," and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." Jack E. Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford (one flash & it's gone. ha)

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

SOURCE: Pattaya Daily News: July 18th 2008

KRATOEY THIEF CONS UNSUSPECTING OMANI

A lady boy (kratoey) mislead an Omani man by pretending that he was a real girl to sell sex. When the foreign victim found out he had been duped, he chased the pretender out of the room, but not before the kratoey managed to grab a watch and cash and then escaped. Pattaya police later managed to arrest the kratoey thief and also found out that the suspect had a criminal record for the use of Yah Bah (amphetamine).

On July 18, 2008, at 2.30 am, Pol.Lt.Santiphol Bpu-wadol-kanok and volunteer police managed to track down the thief and arrested him/her. The suspect was identified as Mr. Worachai Thairatanakul aka Um, from Udonthani province. He was arrested around Pattaya 3rd road and Soi Lengkee, with the stolen goods - the watch and cash belonging to Mr. Mohammad Hamad, (43) - still on his person.

Police later told press that Mr.Worachai or "Um", the thieving kratoey, was wearing a sexy, white nightgown and a blond wig, prowling around looking for victims to sell sexual services to around Bali Hai Bridge, South Pattaya. He had waylaid Mr. Mohamad Hamad, the victim, who was on his way back to his room at the time, and fondled him as a preliminary to selling sex. Mr. Hamad was completely taken in, believing the kratoey was a genuine female and agreed to take Mr.Worachai with him to sleep in a hotel nearby. Once getting to the hotel room, Mr. Hamad discovered that Mr Worachai was, in fact, a kratoey, then chased him out of the room, but not before Mr. Worachai had grabbed Mr. Hamad's watch and cash.

Mr. Hamad immediately reported the incident to the police who fortunately managed to arrest Mr.Worachai with the evidence. Running a criminal record check on the thief, police discovered that Mr. Worachai had a police record, having been arrested previously for the use of Yah Bah (amphetamine) and was actually out on bail, the terms of which were broken by his committal of theft. Mr. Worachai confessed to the offence and police charged him with stealing property.

Photographs courtesy of Pattaya Daily News: July 18th 2008

Only in the Oman do the women look like that! No wonder they hide behind veils.

if you go into facebook, there are alot of clubs and events in Phuket posted there

interesting to see the cause of death at such a young age

RIP

Get a job!

agree

Please check the jokes before posting !, if they are not funny DO NOT POST