xtrnuno41

THE MAGICIAN A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show: “Look, it’s not the same hat.” “Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table.” “Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?” The magician was furious but couldn’t do anything; it was, after all, the captain’s parrot. One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself floating on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course. They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and another and another. After a week the parrot said: “OK, I give up. Where’s the boat?” MAFIA A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his former accountant. The Godfather asks the accountant, “Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?” The accountant does not answer. The Godfather asks again, “Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?” The attorney interrupts, “Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you.” The Godfather says, “Well ask him where my damn money is!” The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the 3 million dollars is. The accountant signs back, “I don’t know what you are talking about.” The attorney interprets to the Godfather, “He doesn’t know what you are talking about.” The Godfather pulls out a 9 millimeter pistol, puts it to the temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, “Ask him again where my damn money is!” The attorney signs to the accountant, “He wants to know where it is!” The accountant signs back, “OK! OK! OK! The money is hidden in a brown suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!” The Godfather says, “Well….what did he say?” The attorney interprets to the Godfather, “He says…go to hell… ..that you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger.” FARMER TO MARKET A farmer goes to a livestock dealer and buys an anvil, a bucket, two chickens, and a goose. The farmer looks at his purchases and says, “Damn, I WALKED here. How am I gonna carry all this home? The livestock dealer said, “Why don’t you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?” “Hey, thanks!” the farmer said, and off he went. While walking home he met a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, “Can you tell me how to get to 1515 Mockingbird Lane?” The farmer said, “Well, as a matter of fact, I live just down the road from there. Let’s take my short cut and go down this alley. We’ll be there in no time.” The little old lady said, “I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won’t hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?” The farmer said, “Holy smokes lady! I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?” She replied, “Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket … and I’ll hold the chickens.” SALESMAN FROM TEXAS A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job. The manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?” The kid says, “Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas. “Well, the boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. “You start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.” His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. “How many sales did you make today?” The kid says, “One.” The boss says, “Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?” Kid says, “$101,237.64.” Boss says, “$101,237.64? What the hell did you sell?” Kid says, “First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer.” The boss said, “A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?” Kid says, “No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said, ‘Well, your weekend’s shot, you might as well go fishing” SINGLE SHOPPING A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she selected a quart of milk, a carton of eggs, juice, and a package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyer belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her, watched as she placed her items in front of the cashier. He said, “You must be single.” The woman, a bit startled, looked at her four items on the belt, and seeing nothing particularly unusual about her selections said, “Well, y’know, that’s right. But how in earth did you know that? The drunk said, “Cause you’re uglier ‘n <deleted>.” WISH TO THE GENIE A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled upon an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said “OK. OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the 4th time this month and I’m getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish! The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, “I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I’m scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?” The genie laughed and said, “That’s impossible! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete . . how much steel!! No, think of another wish!” The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, “I’ve been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don’t care and that I’m insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women . . . know how they feel inside and what they’re thinking when they give me the silent treatment . . .know why they’re crying, know what they really want when they say, ‘nothing’ . . . know how to make them truly happy . . .” The genie then said, “You want that bridge with two lanes or four?” BAD DAY FOR FARMACIST Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the druggist – he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.” Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, “Now, just a minute – listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire. When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off. Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels – the phone is still ringing – when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke. The phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife – she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. Well, Mister, I TOLD HER!” LANGUAGE A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: “Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Den I come one lasta time.” “You foul-mouthed swine,” retorted the lady indignantly. “In this country we don’t talk about our sex lives in public!” “Hey, coola down lady,” said the man. “Who talking abouta sexa? Imma justa tellun my frienda how to spella “Mississippi”!

A man walks into a bar with an ostrich and a cat and sits at the bar. The bartender walks over to them and says, “What can I get for you?” The man says “I’ll have a beer”, the ostrich says, “I’ll have a beer”, and the cat says, “I’ll have half a beer and I’m not buying.” So the bartender says, “OK, that will be $3.87.” The man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him. About an hour later the bartender goes back over to them and says, “What’ll you guys have?” The man says, “I’ll have a beer”, the ostrich says, “I’ll have a beer”, and the cat says “I’ll have half a beer and I’m not buying.” The bartender gets them their beer and says “That’ll be $3.87.” The man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him. A couple of days later they come back into the bar and the bartender walks over and asks “What do you guys want today?” The man says, “I’ll have a scotch”, the ostrich says, “I’ll have a bourbon”, and the cat says, “I’ll have half a beer and I’m not buying.” So the bartender says “OK, that will be $7.53.” The man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him. The bartender’s curiosity got the best of him and he asks, “Why is it that every time I tell you the amount you owe you always have the exact change in you pocket?” The man said, “I found a bottle with a genie in it and she granted me 3 wishes. My first wish was that I always have the exact change in my pocket for anything I buy.” The bartender says, “That’s a great wish…better than asking for a million dollars. A million dollars will run out but that never will. What were your other 2 wishes?” The man says, “That’s where I screwed up. I asked for a chick with long legs and a tight pussy.”

Very logical. It is an Island, so all bottles come from main land, weighing a lot. It is just dead weight. So cost a lot of fuel. Also you have to transport back, a lot of dead weight. Taking up volume then which you could use otherwise or safe on fuel. The cans can be squashed together, so less space and way lighter and they can and will be reused. For collecting back, put return money on it, should have been done earlier with the bottles. If tourist are too lazy to return, you can motivate Thai (kids?) to hunt for it, so they get some return money and keep the island clean of it. Return money in an island return money account from which is paid back to anyone delivering the cans, bottles.

Ease visa? Then why old system Thai Elite is gone and new one costs a fortune? 20 years 5 million baht, 15 years 2.5 million baht, 5 years 900 kbaht. And why they did, as more people bought. So more money to have or to cut down on people buying it? Last option seems to me the issue.

The prices of land sometimes flabbergast me. Some times, I just check for it. Once (2014 It was, I believe) there was a possibility to buy a big house with 28 Rai in area Loei. Only 9 million baht ! Was an incredible property. To lower price more, I asked for only house and some land, couldnt be done. The owner wanted to sell all in one deal. Now i see sometimes a piece of land and costing 5 million for not even a rai. Huh? No, not in the middle in the center of a high class place.

After about 5 years my car starts up with motor management light. College had reader, so we checked P0601. Then I go to DEALER garage, of course they found same reading. Conclusion of them ECU broken , needed to replace it. Asked, if it is broken why my car is still running ok? No answer on that. So didnt replace it, as in "deal" was, they kept the "old" one, bit weird to me. P0601 is just a main general fault and later found on internet, it has a very long list on possibilities. But they just didnt know?, it seems, and/or they just wanted me to buy an new one. Do dealers always do right? No, they just can cheat you as any other car fixer. Stating : buy a new one. I didnt and got lazy on the "error" and im now with that error already 15 years further. One thing it probably did was putting the engine in a sort of safe mode to drive, as i think my chip tuning isnt active anymore. I can reset it by taking off the power, loosen clamps of battery. Then it is gone for a while, but will pop up again. Once red from a guy he had his car re tuned from other chip tuning company and fault was gone. Found another company who said they were more specialized in problems with this, but didnt go there still. Must kick my butt again finally after 15 years to still do something about it. Maybe one of these days.

And then I met this, if you have an hour to spare, lovely music. First I had first song, Donald Fagen with What a beautiful world, known song, but listened on more. All very lovely songs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wlA309xBBQ The link could not be embedded because www.youtube.com does not allow embedding of that video. So you need to copy paste, if you want to hear.

Thailand still has a long way to go for safety. First picture shows Thai want to be a part of an accident. With 4 people on a pallet raised by forklift truck. It is waiting to go wrong. In "my" country, you are fired on the spot then, doing so. Even just 1 person doing so. Those lovely white sneakers are they really safety shoes? I bet they arent. Working, maintenance on running open screw? Fired. In this case not needed anymore. Sad, RIP You see in pic 2 even the guy stuck in the trench. Then they work with a torch? Dont make to much dust then, otherwise you have dust explosion. Guy up with it, looks dressed up for fire, in danger, just tiny step back, trip and he can go all the way down. No railings, no flat floor, no safety harnas. Would they have electrically locked the machine by taking out the fuses, that is the only way? Probably not, maybe just put switch on off. Making up procedures in Thailand doesnt work, as you have no one to enforce it. Thai will disobey and just do their thing, as shown every day in traffic.

What about lung covid? Did the guy had covid? They dont know all about lung covid, as it coming up more now and they are investigating it. It is an after covid attack disease. As i saw on news, mostly severe with persons in medical profession. As they were more exposed as others. But never the less it can happen to anybody. Easy to say, it is because of e vaping. Bringing it out in the open as a campagne against e vaping.(tobacco industry, doctor paid?) As said cigarette smoking, they dont make such a fuzz. Regret the day i started.

As said before, Thailand has many of those accidents with FOREIGNERS. So could it be the balustrades are to low? Made, set on Thai height measurements, rules, not on taller foreigners? Or just low as to save money in material and no rules at all? I ve been in hotels and see them as low to me. Just checked and here in the west, it differs a bit, but at least 1 meter (demand) high, measured from floor, on lower floors. And then 1.2 meter on higher (from 13m)floors. So set on a persons average height of 1.8 meter?

another rocker on the other side, in younger years Some years later in time My first CD at that time, Iron maiden "live after death" live CD,with Bruce Dickinson

Was applying METV October last year. Got mail from [email protected] Needed to send travel plan. They started with "dear applicant", so that would be normal. The form however I had to send to my Thai embassy(Dutch site address), but quite special address : Dear Applicant, Please submit the following document(s): 1. travel plans https://hague.thaiembassy.org/th/publicservice/e-visa-categories-fee-and-required-documents Please send the document(s) to [email protected] and mention your passport number to match your current application *Please note this is an auto generated e-mail. Please do NOT reply to this email. Best wishes, E-Visa Team I cant tell if London has another setup. Also if this address (for Dutch) is only would be for travel plan or anything else, due to visum. After sending they replied with this: Dear E-Visa applicant, Thank you for sending the requested document(s). We have received them in good order and we will proceed with your application. An application could take 3-7 working days. In some cases, an application may take longer than 7 working days. Kind regards, In the case where applicants fail to submit required documents or additional documents requested by the Embassy within 45 days from the date of submission, the applications will be cancelled without prior notice. An application processing fee (visa fee) will NOT refunded. Consular Section Royal Thai Embassy Laan Copes van Cattenburch 123 2585 EZ The Hague, NL E-mail: [email protected] Website: http://www.thaiembassy.org/hague/ Tel: +31 (0) 70 3450766 ext. 219 So they confirmed receiving it. Again, I dont know if London does the same, logically you would expect a standard for all embassies. But probably not, as you have a total different email address. [email protected] So is this address right then? Did they made an error? I see your address is then (also) a contact address for visa on the London site. That would be a general address and they dont do anything with it? I checked London and The Hague sites, different. Try to find the edu mail address, not to be found. So it is a specialized visa handling section with own address and nowhere shown?! London has the same? I cant tell. Is there another email address mentioned in your receiving mail? Note: I didnt have to send it to [email protected]. Also they mention documents, so means more issues involving visum are handled(like money?) As I first thought it was weird. Why send it to a [email protected] (?), as [email protected] is handling the visum? I copied the received message from [email protected], complete in the answering email to the edu. It seems to be working, as fast after that I had approval. No clue where edu stands for. I know my case is not about money showing, as i did that in visum application and was correct (seems) in september last year. But METV, travel plan(must) is NOT in visum application and was handled later as I wrote. Incredible why this not fit in the application. Again a sort of verification, double check of email? Extra annoying email for this and making you feel insecure. I knew, it is a demand, so had it, but NOT asked for in application, but extra bla bla bla. Note: I used auto fill in the application (for address) but that one changed also my name in first box. So be aware if you use google auto fill.!! Didnt expected that and further didnt check all from start after finishing all. How dumb. Reject. Didnt matter I told them (they replied !), this box is so important, so you should have been warned. You do get a warning about middle name which I dont have. That box is auto fill by reading your passport, your name, but can be changed and no warning.

Another rocker died, Bernie Marsden RIP. Known form this band, as you will now the song very well. In the band also 2 others who already died, Jon Lord and Cozy Powell.

Yes, but agendas can change or even set to it. And in this case, it looks like the agenda has changed from only one part and leaving the other part not happy, without bothering about the other part.

You are sure in Chiang Mai? You know there is smog for 3/4 months, attacking your health. Not long ago, saw a darn nice house and really cheap. Then i checked place and understood why. Price was already low, but still even negotiable. Legal, Thai law, lease period is 30 years. After that you have to RENEW and CAN be done, but if owner says "no" then it is the end. After that one you can do it again for 30 years, but same conditions. So 90 years totally, BUT if owner says "no", it is off. You can also say "no". Only a usufruct can be set for (your) live. You still dont own. You die and land is back to owner. Only Thai can own the land. House can be your name, but if it is on leased land, you have to break it down after lease then. Makes no sense, I think, to split it up. You are now buying, house/land in a Thai relation? House and land then on woman's name, but then with usufruct. Or are you buying condo? Condo has other regulations.

TO find a real good friend, woman? It is rare, no matter where. No matter nationality. Lived, seen, heard many relations, just going down the drain. In short and/or long time. You can only fix yourself.

You have to be aware then, you have to return the land as it was once when you leased it. Meaning breaking down house.

Thats correct, you are 39 at a whole other place and thoughts in time. I didnt think about dead at all at that time, same as you. Now shifting over 60, you could be more aware, you have about 20 years to go and live goes fast. You see your parents pass away, other older people. The older you get, the faster time seems to go. I just dont think about it too much, you have to go some time. My mother was happy to die at 83. Palliative. At least if I understood her reaction right. You never know what is really in a persons mind, but there were health issues. Though you see and think, what? However could respect her for the decision. Only little weird thing was, from trying to heal to death in short time. My father(67), also palliative, was another story. but his thoughts brought him to drink more and more, which finally brought him in hospital for dying. They were living in another time. My father was quite skinny (mom told me) had to do with TBC. Asked doctor, how can I put on some weight on him. Docs advise, eggs with brandy, so there the start of alcohol to love it. And in those times, you could even easily drink at work ! Was quite normal. So my father did. And in later time, the alcohol had to wipe out the demons. You conclude later on that. And sometimes people have enough of live and sure not afraid to die in short time. Had a college(in 50), had divorce and problems in work at the same time. So he decided to commit suicide. I never thought he would do so, as he looked very balanced to me. ok, when the brain pops, it changes. Your thoughts, behavior are all affected on your experiences and live in time. It brings other points of view when aging. Afraid of dead? More worried about the way, I hope on a drop dead hearth attack. If cancer pops or other bad decease, im not sure, maybe I finish myself then. Reincarnation, heaven , hell, I dont know, will see then. However there are people worrying (afraid) about that due to all those stories. If i would reincarnate, I want to be a volcano. I can smoke all day and people would say: "look, he works"

Thanks for pointing, very lovely moody songs, like it. Unknown to me but great singer and songs. Also John Prine is lovely to hear.

Maybe Russia, maybe USA, maybe Ukraine, maybe reaper All possibilities.

We had a rocker here and he lived that life, also stating at 50 he would end it. Delayed some, but at 55 he did end it, by jumping of hotel. It is a choice. Now im getting older and reflecting back, thinking sometimes what the hell im doing here. It goes something like this

Red once you could and many did, but in time rules were changed. If you start company, which cost you lots of effort to do so, your company MUST be really active. So not just a fake company anymore, doing nothing, they check on that.

IF you dotn like the music, you can always see the girls in miniskirt, miniskirt time 7ties!

With all I saw in Thailand, in traffic, I conclude, traffic laws are not for Thai citizens.

Philippines, went swimming, after that block of ear. To doctor, who flushed out my ear. Private doctor in mall, 7 $, didnt even bother to claim later. Incredible what came out. The water expands the ear grease and blocks . Yeeeh, could hear again. You have headset on, it gets more moist inside(sweat), causing blocking. Same as with sleeping. I know you better dont clean your ears too much as it will activate more ear grease to produce. So im not really over doing as for that. Cotton tips very carefully, turning and not really pushing. However they have this now and looks helpfull. You just twist it in your ear. For instance Alieexpress. Maybe have to buy a bundle, as it looks logically good. But then i think , why not make a motor in it for auto rotate, wouldnt be that difficult, though? Ah there goes my change to get rich, in reveiling. The tip is made like a drill, auto transport grease out while turning. https://nl.aliexpress.com/item/1005005218751573.html?spm=a2g0o.productlist.main.25.62a72b272UrALf&algo_pvid=d673a58d-6332-44df-a5af-4fa250d31af2&algo_exp_id=d673a58d-6332-44df-a5af-4fa250d31af2-12&pdp_npi=4%40dis!EUR!7.74!0.46!!!59.97!!%40211b88f116925409139837539e01f7!12000032228979699!sea!NL!0!A&curPageLogUid=tSoDvy4kD9U4 Jeepers it is cheap over there.