Gazza

People are shocked when I hold the door open for them. Needless to say I no longer do this courteous act.

Same as when I'm at the superstore check out. I'll have a ton of food but will let someone with only an item or two go first.

They look totally perplexed.

Terminator, Arnie is in the motel room fixing his eye I think, the motel manager says, "hey, you got a dead cat in there?". Arnie replies, "###### you ######".

Again another classic.

And in the Thai version "Ja Khlap"???? (I'll be baaack)

Somehow I don't think it would have the same ring to it.

From the Thai version of Casablanca - "Len eek Saam" ????

Not to hijack this thread but I don't think there'll be memorable one-liners from many Thai movies. So, staying on the theme of Thai movies, has anyone seen any obvious mistakes that were overlooked when making the movie (or soap opera)?

e.g. While watching a period drama set a few centuries ago, I could clearly see in the background of one scene, the rooftops of a row of townhouses.

And in various other period dramas I rarely fail to see actors with an untanned stripe were they normally wear their watches.

In one Thai gangster type movie, a couple of good guys were shooting the gangsters as they poured into a room. The scene lasted for about 5 mins and the bad guys were getting mown down one after the other by the machine-gun-totting good guys. About 50 gangsters got blasted away trying to get into the room, and yet when the smoke cleared, there was only 5 dead bodies on the floor.

Talking of whistling.

In 15 years here I've never yet seen or heard a Thai person whistle a tune or to beckon someone just by using their mouth.

The only Thai person I've ever heard whistling is my wife.

She can follow the rhythm ok but whistles the same note over and over. Being a musician I find it amusing...and a bit annoying

And yet uses 5 tones when speaking??

Speaking of tones, I just remembered. About a week ago I farted while showering and it had a rising tone to it. I thought 'bloody 'ell, I've been here too long. I'm even farting in Thai now'.

How long can you keep a chicken in the freezer???????

Until it squarks to be let out??

What is your purpose to stay in thailand for long periods?

Why do you need to live here for long terms?

It's purely for narcissustical reasons. I'm more handsome here than I am in England.

Hello again,

Thanks for all the great info!  I have some more research to do.  Can someone remind me how much you pay in say a 7-11 for 150ml Krating Daeng (Red Bull). 

Easy enough to remember prices of Red Bull and M150(used to be M100). 10 baht.

They're the only thing that I can recall that haven't increased in price in over 15 years.

Wilko, I don't know where you're located but here's a couple of links of some offroad destinations.

This one is in Kanchanburi so maybe ideal for a weekend challenge if you're in BKK.

The site is in Thai but there's plenty of photos to show how arduous it can be.

http://www.weekendhobby.com/offroad/tiraipa/tiraipa.asp

This second link is handy if located in the north of Thailand or for a long weekend trip from BKK.

http://www.bangkokpost.net/horizons/060100_Horizons01.html

Hope these are useful to you.

I've wondered, do they have to buy their own whistle or does it come with the job?, do they share whistles?

I think it comes with the military style emblems, the Helmet and the honarary medals

and the truncheon...and the handcuffs....and the little vest that says 'Air Guard'.

What the heck is an 'Air Guard' anyway?

What puzzles me is how someone who looks 'better than Pitt' isn't already signed to an international agency.............?

Maybe he's confusing Brad with Willaim the younger........

Maybe he's been told 'He looks the pits' and has decided to go with Brad.

It really lashed down here again today around 8am. It's cleared a lot of dust off everything and the roads are a bit cleaner. Got caught in a light drizzle around 1pm which eased off at around 2pm.

Cold as a witches tit as well.

Talking of whistling.

In 15 years here I've never yet seen or heard a Thai person whistle a tune or to beckon someone just by using their mouth.

Any idea of prices? Saw it in Carrefour but was distracted from looking at the price by this gorgeous bird in spray-on-jeans. She had a lovely, firm.....etc. etc.

Shame on you...........the real Gazza would have gone for the booze first

The Old Gazza a few weeks ago would've but I was in the wrong time zone (after 2pm).

Figured the beer would still be there for next time anyway. But when I see a nice booty I'm always compelled to see what the face is like, otherwise it's like reading a book with the last page missing.

Just bought some cans of Red Horse at 19baht. Doing a test run tonght while watching the El FC vs Man Ure match.

Contemplated trying the Blue Ice but sounds too much like a drink that comes with a little pink umbrella to me.

It's simply a woman's perogative to lie about certain things. Doesn't every adult male know that?.

A bargirl stole my heart....then my mobile then my car then my house.

She said she was 20.

Her secret lover REALLY was her brother.

How a bargirl got conned to send money abroad for her farang BF's 'sick parrot'.

She told me "It's because I lub you too mutt" as she castrated me with blunt nail clippers.

GTG GB

GB? Hey AH, U calling us Gang Bangers?

Off the top of your head, what are some others that you know? 

OK = Okay

IC = I See

B4 = Before

U = You

UR? = You Are?

e.g. (= Egg sample) OK, B4...IC that UR in IT?

LAM (Love And Miss)

This a laugh. Can you do it?

http://www.ibogleif.dk/uk/Thetest-uk.html

got it right! what does that tell about me?

You're cross-eyed and were able to look at both?

Actually it's a useless test as I find that there are too many distractions 

Personally, I think it could with some more similar distractions.

The Hitch Hikers Guide to the galaxy was my favorite text adventure..

I DL'ed that one from Pablo's link but can't open it because I'm missing a shwm.dll file or something.

Any idea of prices? Saw it in Carrefour but was distracted from looking at the price by this gorgeous bird in spray-on-jeans. She had a lovely, firm.....etc. etc.

Sounds like someone's talking crystal balls to me.

Mojo, this thread may be of interest to you.

'Favourite Food Franchise' thread

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=20110&st=0

I don't know if this is from intuition or from my experiences of using Thai Visa but, I predict that this thread will be moved to another branch of this forum.

I can just feel it in my bones too.

I find it mildly annoying listening to the Thai national anthem on a Thai tv in the background somewhere around midday or mid afternoon.

It always causes me to look at my watch and think 'Schit! It's not 6 o'clock already is it?'.