Gazza

Oh Well! No more staying up 'till 5am to watch FA matches for me anymore.

'Crazy Legs Traore' saw to that!

Hope Burnley go through and lift the cup.

Try this link for starters.

http://thailand.sawadee.com/petchabun/

It took 15 post to mention masturbation until it all got too much for igotworms........

why on earth do you have to masturbate in Thailand.

Getting yer hands 'round yer glands often beats an average shag. Cheaper too.

Besides, isn't shaggin' a form of masturbation?

:D

Been overcast most of the day here. Felt a few specks of rain on my face around 1pm but nothing since then.

Been to most of them except for about 5 provinces in the north, a couple in the NE, have yet to go to Phuket and Trat.

First hol was 12 days then 2 months later returned for 6 weeks. 10 months after that came back again and been here now for 15 years.

Name the film where the only word spoken was "Non" ? 

"Silent Movie" - Mel Brooks

Correct. And for 5 bonus points.......who said it?

aughie...yeah I did soak the beans (red kidneys) overnight then cooked them for about 3 hours and they were still crunchy.

Lop, I've looked all over the tescos in Suphan and the only canned beans I can find are the occasional Campbells pork and beans...I'm pretty sure I covered the whole store...

The Tescos in Rangsit have stopped stocking the Ayam brand. No problems with Tops or Carrefour.

Name the film where the only word spoken was "Non" ?

I've felt the safest in Japan. I've seen women leave handbags on tables when they go to the toilet. Commuters park bicyles without locking or chaining them up.

Un-vandalised vending machines for beer or cigarettes located in dark side streets. Hardly any signs of graffiti anywhere.

Still, as anywhere, I try not to let my guard down.

I walk into a room. They immediately walk out and into the room where my wife is.

I thought at first it was somehow fear. Turned out that they were incredibly shy.

ever thought about buying a mirror?

Huh?????????

May i Know which part of Bangkok is Tring in? I spoke to my ex-girlfriend but I dont know where she is staying!

Phone back to her and ask her again.

Try the Thermae on Sukhumvit, just ask someone they will show you, also you will find nice girls in the Grace Hotel, Soi 3 Nana Neua.

Yeah, the girls there like fishing too. They've caught many a farang using hook, line and sinker.

Something that I stumbled across recently that some might be interested in.

Saturday nights around 8-9pm on CH 55 (CNBC) they have an oldish movie showing.

Problem is, it clashes with the EPL matches.

A few weeks ago they showed 'Kes' set upt' in Yorkshire. Man, it brought back some memories that did.

The UBC mag is crap now especially with the smaller print. I can't <deleted>' read the listings now cos it's so small. Also the mag doesn't list BBC or CNBC programs anymore. Shame.

The last four relationships I were in, my boyfriends were 12 years, 10 years, 6 years, and 15 years older than me. I like older men. :D

You just woke up 80% of the board.

cv

And 100% of the bored.

Gazza (45 y/o)

When i go back on my regular visits I invariably spend a couple of nights out with the wifes old school,university and work friends who are all or mostly in the 30-40 + range,well educated,good jobs,never go to bars (respectable restuarants are OK with lots of Thais around)and would be happy to have "nice farang boyfriend"

As said as above however they are all ...very,very,very shy.

Some of my wife's friends won't even stay in the same room as me if my wife is elsewhere.

I walk into a room. They immediately walk out and into the room where my wife is.

I thought at first it was somehow fear. Turned out that they were incredibly shy.

Tried being single many,many times over the years but its just not in my nature.You're either a loner or you're not.

Been married for 15 years and very often take a trip somewhere around Thailand on the bike for about a week, with or without a GF. It's nice to have some of both worlds.

I had a workman fall through my roof, through the false ceiling and onto hardwood stairs. He died due to head injuries.

My in-laws tied string all over the house starting from where the guy died, and routing the string to windows and doorways.

I think for the spirits, the string acts like a mountaineers guide-rope in a white-out. It guides the spirits of the dead away from their exiting point, if the point is habitated or frequented by people.

This is my understanding of one of the many uses of string.

Why do Thais (men) put coins in their ears?

It prevents a draught from blowing through their ears.

mrMike, try any local superstore for women of all ages. When you're cruising the aisles for food try and make eye contact with a girl that pleases you. If you both make eye contact then give her a nice smile. When or if, she smiles back then say something in Thai like 'Mee Yim Suay Khap'( You have a beautiful smile)

Or just say anything in Thai for that matter. Ask her the time (remove wristwatch first) or ask her where in the store the bread is. This will let her think that you can speak Thai regardless of your fluency.

Some Thai girls are often shy of farangs simply because they may assume that you cannot speak Thai, and they themselves may be shy to use their English skills no matter what degree of proficiency they have. But, let them at least hear you speak something in Thai and you'll find it's a great ice breaker.

For myself, I go for women about 25 y/o +.

Under around 25 I find that the mentality of them is usually that of a teenager.

I married a bargirl 15 years ago and have had numerous 'good' girls on the side over the last 10 years.

The most honest and trustworthy of them all has been my wife.

The least honest and most untrustworthy of them all has been you.

I know.

No, he means that everything has wilted and turned to seed.

It only wilts after a few minutes of use.

wow! i tought 30 seconds was exiting and long!

Being probably the world's worst lover, I dream of the day when I only last for 30 seconds.

I just want to get my end away, have a ciggie, then get a bit of kip. Sod all that foreplay stuff! Sounds too much like hard work to me.

People are shocked when I hold the door open for them. Needless to say I no longer do this courteous act.

I still do......... sometimes. Especially when they're good looking.

Gazza holds door open for beautiful girl.

Girl walks through door.

Gazza sees 'caboose' of girl as she passes and likes what he sees.

Girl says 'Khoopkhun Maak Ka' for Gazza's courteous deed.

Gazza says 'Mai Pen Rai Khap. Chawp Oral Mai'

Gazza gets faced slapped alot,

but then again, Gazza gets loads of.........

No, he means that everything has wilted and turned to seed.

It only wilts after a few minutes of use.

I married a bargirl 15 years ago and have had numerous 'good' girls on the side over the last 10 years.

The most honest and trustworthy of them all has been my wife.

Pattaya has gone down in terms of excitement in the last four years but I blame the fact that bargirls have now got mobile phones and aren't interested in pleasing punters anymore.

Hi Guys.....Yes I can sympathise with the above statement...."What a switch off".... There is nothing that can diminish the excitement more than at the crucial point (with the most gorgeous bargirl of your dreams) when her mobile phone rings and you are left alone on your pillow while she makes amorous arrangements with one of her `other` boyfriends.

That's when a nice bit o' rope or handcuffs come in handy.

So I'm told.