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ballpoint

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Everything posted by ballpoint

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    Looks like she's trying to smuggle a chihuahua through customs.
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    I just want to warn members to look out for emails trying to sell tickets to the Eskimo lottery. Do not buy them, you have to be Inuit to win it!
  8. ballpoint
    Everyone seems worried about global warming and world hunger, but the real crisis is that one day elderly drivers will know how to text.
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    Someone I know told me that he wanted to move to Liverpool with his girlfriend and have a baby there. I thought, "It will never work."
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    Sean Connery walks into a library and asks for a book on solo photography. "Shelf E," replied the librarian. "Aye that's the one," said Sean.
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    The sad thing is, I can't tell if it's a joke or true.
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    Solved.
  22. ballpoint
    I went to the pet shop to buy some breeding birds. The cashier said, "Have you got a store card?" I said, "No, but I did get a budgie excited once."
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    I've just had 40 winks on the train... I knew I shouldn't have worn this pink t-shirt.
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    I knocked on David Banners' door earlier and told him all about global warming. He got very angry and said he was turning green immediately.
  25. ballpoint
    I was arrested yesterday on suspicion of murdering my orchestra conductor. Apparently, because I had bought a Stradivarius in 2002, an Amati in 1998 and a Guarneri in 1990, the police said I had a history of violins.
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