ballpoint

A variation on the old "you can't fire me, I quit!" theme.

Quite appropriate, given that the drone apparently tried to blow up the flag pole on the Kremlin roof.

There is a fine line between a fisherman and a fish.

Police have arrested a group of racist pigeons and chickens. A spokesman said "we're very disappointed that The Coo Clucks Clan has made it to this country".

A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day and age. The husband responded "When we were first married we came to an agreement. I would make all the major decisions and my wife would make all the minor decisions. And in 60 years of marriage we have never needed to make a major decision."

A man leaving his apartment building runs into his woman neighbour in the elevator. "Good morning, what are you up to today?" he asks. She replies, "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" he asks. "About $20 a pint." she says. "Hmm ...," the man says. "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100 a tablespoon." The woman is left with a questioning expression on her face as the man leaves the elevator. The next day they meet in the elevator again. The man asks, "So, where you off to today?" - "Fmerm mank," she says.

Hey I was Just watching the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra on telly and half way through the bloke on the triangle disappeared.

I'll make a note of that.

Somehow, I don't think they do much of a background check on who's ordering prescription medication...