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ballpoint

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Everything posted by ballpoint

  1. He was in far more TV shows and movies than just those ones. I've been a fan of his comedy roles since the 80's. To me his greatest moment was this scene from the Comic Strip's movie "The Supergrass". RIP Robbie.
  2. He's mobilised far more than that - counting the ones who have mobilised themselves across various borders. And, many of the ones he's conscripted have been permanently immobilised.
  3. Thank you for calling the Drugs Helpline. Press the hash key to continue...
  4. Had some bad news last week. My American cousin barely survived being dragged through a counterfeiting press. He recovered well though, and now looks like a million dollars.
  5. I got a part time job as a security guard at the National Ice Cream Museum. I'm bored stiff because we get no visitors. I just sit here all day long, staring at the Walls.
  6. Someone just asked me what the 9th letter of the Alphabet was. It was a complete guess, but I was right.
  7. All this time, and I didn't realise that you can buy a birthday cake and eat it yourself anytime and nobody checks.
  8. Lawrence gives a good summary of the DOJ's response to the Supreme Court. The more times he says "but it get's worse" (for Trump), the better it gets for everyone else (other than his supporters). One of those "it get's worse" moments is this quote: They knew all about the box moving before they obtained the warrant. There's a mole in Mar-a-Lago providing info to the FBI. Likely the same person who's "leaking" info to the press.
  9. I said to my wife "I have taught the dog Morse code". The dog tapped his paw.. My wife asked "what did he say?" "woof" I replied.
  10. I asked my wife to pretend she was a schoolgirl for our anniversary. She brought a note from her mum saying she had a headache.
  11. Note that I didn't mention any Collies in my previous post. Today's a Ban Collie Day.
  12. I've been cross breeding dogs, without much success. First I crossed a Bulldog with a Terrier and got a Terribull dog. Then I crossed a Bloodhound with a Labrador and got a Blabador, that barks incessantly. Finally I crossed a Bulldog with a Shih tzu, and got a, well, you wouldn't believe me if I told you.
  13. I walked down a road where all the houses were numbered 64k, 128k, 256k, 512k and 1Mb. That was a trip down Memory Lane.
  14. I just heard that our local prosthetics shop is changing hands.
  15. Lion King F.C. have made a great start to the season. A win away, a win away, a win away.
  16. I guess that means Kyrgyzstan won then. They secured a cease fire before firing even began.
  17. Have you every tried blindfolded archery? You don't know what you are missing!
  18. Samuel Morse's wife, Dorothy walks into the office and says, "Sam, I'm running in a 100 yard sprint tomorrow, do you have any last minute advice for me ?" And he says - . - I'll telegraph for my coat.
  19. I used to play drums in a band. One night after a gig I was amazed to see Phil Collins at the stage wings. He came up to me and asked if he could have a go on my drums. Of course, I said yes and Phil played a brilliant section on them then stood up walked away saying "Well it's not the drums".
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