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ballpoint

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    My dear old dad used to say: "The first rule of theatre, son, is to always leave them wanting more." Lovely bloke but a terrible anaesthetist.
  23. ballpoint
    I have written a book called First-Rate Basement makeovers. It has just made the best cellars list.
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    The bloke next door asked me if I wanted to try a wife swap. "I'm not sure" I said - "will I get her back ?" "Course !" he laughed "No then"
  25. ballpoint
    This is my fourth visit to Turkey in 3 years, and every time it's the same old thing. "10 camels for your beautiful wife?" And every time I tell them to sod off, before winking at the wife. If she is that beautiful, why the hell are they trying to sell her back to me?

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