ballpoint

Puts on a better show than Nana Plaza.

Mandated safety wear for the next pandemic.

You know what they say. "The friend of my enemy is Yemini".

Russia using donkeys to move ammo? Why not? They've already been using them to spread their propaganda on internet fora and comments sections for years.

I was watching the Olympics when it was announced that two contestants were in a 'Nail biting final'... How long is that been classed as a sport then?

My wife asked if our kids were spoiled. I said, "I think most kids smell that way!"

Failed my ventriloquist exam. …I can’t say I’m surprised!

I’ve just offered my elderly neighbour £20 to let me have go on her new stairlift. I think she’s going to take me up on it.

'OLD' IS WHEN... Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!' 'OLD' IS WHEN... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. 'OLD' IS WHEN... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. 'OLD' IS WHEN.... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. 'OLD' IS WHEN.... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. 'OLD' IS WHEN... 'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today. 'OLD' IS WHEN..... 'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.... 'OLD' IS WHEN... An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom. 'OLD' IS WHEN.... You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.

If you don't like hanging out with lots of people then you're an introvert, if you like lots of people about then you're an extrovert. I like cats, so I must be a purrvert.

Yep. In the Oval Office battle of the toddlers, the big orange one came off far worse. Little Musk said to Trump "You're not the president, you need to go away", and repeatedly said "shhh, I want to shush your mouth" to him, while Trump sat and sulked. Elon Musk’s 4-year-old son annoys Donald Trump at White House, ‘want to shush your mouth’ | Watch | Today News