ballpoint

Two women having a glass of wine by the pool, on a fine sunny afternoon. Guest woman ask the host: "Where's your husband?" "We've had a bad argument last night, he's in the garden", host respond. Guest: "I just came from there and I didn't see him". Host: "Did you dig?"

I've quit my office job. The bloke on the desk next to mine said "Can I use your Dictaphone?" said "Absolutely not, use your finger like everyone else!"

Two men, Jim and John, were walking their dogs when they passed by a restaurant. “Let’s go in and get something to eat,” Jim suggested. “We can’t” responded John, “don’t you see the sign says NO PETS ALLOWED.” “Aah that sign,” said Jim “don’t worry about it.” Taking out a pair of sunglasses, he walked up to the door. As he tried walking into the restaurant he got stopped at the door, “sorry no pets allowed.” "Can’t you see” said Jim “I am blind, this is my seeing eye dog.” But it’s a doberman pinscher, who uses a doberman pinscher as a seeing eye dog?” the man asked. “Oh,” Jim responded “you must have not heard, this is the latest type of seeing eye dog, they do a very good job.” Seeing that it worked, John tried walking in with his Chihuahua. Even before he could open his mouth, the doorman said “don’t tell me that a Chihuahua is the latest type of seeing eye dog.” Thinking quickly, John responded in a angry voice “You mean they gave me a Chihuahua?”

I too know the area, and it happened right here: Looking in the direction of the first picture: Looking in the opposite direction (the second picture): The two photos are clearly the same bike. Same blue wheels, same damaged front forks with missing wheel, same join in the concrete road near the yellow line, and, as Moonlover stated, same fuel spill pattern.

It's you. The first picture shows the underside of the bike, the second is taken in the opposite direction and shows the top of the bike. You can clearly see the blue fuel tank (circled) in the first picture.

Aphorisms: 1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. 2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail. 3. If you don't have a sense of humour, you probably don't have any sense at all. 4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs. 5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water. 6 How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night? 7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without. 8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks? 9. Stroke a cat and you will have a permanent job. 10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car. 11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity. 12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. - - - for example, it could be the right number. 13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning. 14. I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap. 15. Be careful about reading the fine print - there's no way you're going to like it. 16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket. 17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? 18. Money can't buy happiness, but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than in a Ford. 19. After 70, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're probably dead. 20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind, and the ones that mind don't matter.

Sign of the times, even the Dukes are downsizing...