ballpoint

If I lived there, being drunk would be the only way I could face going home.

A look at the history of the S&P 500 reveals two main things (Sourced from Morningstar). Firstly, in the long term, you will always gain - if you can hang on long enough. Secondly, there have been periods where it has dropped and not recovered to its previous high for over 20 years. Bad news if this happens to be the start of one of those periods? It's bad news if you only hold funds indexed to the S&P 500, but, for active investors, even during these periods individual years have done much better: S&P 500 annual losses and gains: Other than during WW2 (which still had years with overall gains), there have only been three consecutive years of losses on one occasion, and two consecutive years on one occasion. The Nasdaq is similar: (Both charts from S&P 500 Index - 90 Year Historical Chart | MacroTrends ). In any case, this being an election year, the thought of millions of retiree, and near-retiree, voters nervously watching their pension funds shrinking will not be a good one for the Democrats, which is why many analysts are predicting the Fed will announce that inflation is under control and stop tightening around the end of Q3 - increasing liquidity in the economy and leading to a market rise (which is where the "bull run sometime in October" quoted in a previous post comes from), putting a smile back on voters faces in time for November 8th. Unfortunately, this will likely just push the problem further down the road, and sooner or later - though it may be a few years away, another long period of reduced stock indices will begin. ETF holders have had a very good ride, but it may be time to get off and try something else in a year or two, or three. (It may look like I'm being down on the Democrats, but this would have happened no matter who was in charge. The fickle voting public is what it is though).

Kissinger mouthing off at Davos: "Kissinger's comments imply that Ukraine should accept a peace deal to restore the situation to what it was before February 24, where Russia formally controlled the Crimea peninsula and informally controlled part of the Donetsk region in eastern Ukraine. Ukrainian officials have opposed the idea that they should give up any territory". Kissinger says Ukraine must give up land to Russia, warns West not to seek to humiliate Putin with defeat (yahoo.com) So, Russia marches in, commits atrocities and war crimes by the score, and is allowed to leave again unpunished? Let's just sweep it all under the carpet and carry on the way things were before, as if nothing ever happened. Until it happens again. Rather appropriate from a man with his warmongering history.

A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency. The Social workers raise doubts about the living conditions in a circus, but the couple produce photos of their 50-foot luxury motor home, which is clean and well-maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery. The Social workers also raise concerns about the education a child would receive while in the couple's care. "We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills". Then the social workers express concern about a child being raised in a circus environment. "Our nanny is a certified expert in Paediatric care, Welfare and Diet". The social workers are finally satisfied and ask "What age child are you hoping to adopt?" They said “It doesn't really matter, as long as they can fit in the cannon".

I was sat in the park wondering what kind of crows were around my feet, when one said "ooo, matron" and another said " infamy infamy, they've all got it in for me". They must be Carrion Crows

I've started a joinery business making sheds for chickens and rabbits. I promise I'll give you a good run for your money.

I've just opened a new account at the Bank of Bonsai. It's like a regular bank but they have smaller branches.

I’ve just been to an indoor fairground where none of us knew what any of the rides did! Then I realised it was a bemusement arcade.

A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it. Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's rear was that eye staring right back at him. "You know, " said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me.

I find it interesting that people make so much money out of their 800k that they can't afford to keep it in a bank, yet make so little from the rest of their money that they can't spare 800k to keep in a bank.

My mate’s dad used to dig up old car parts. He was a Morris miner.

My friend told me to put all my money on a horse named Landfill. It was a rubbish tip.

My eye doctor told me that my test results came back. I asked if I could see them and she said, “probably not.”

My wife woke up with a puzzled look on her face this morning. She had fallen asleep on her jigsaw.

My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.