ballpoint

When I was younger I made a really big sandcastle with my Grandma. No one else at the cremation was impressed.

I got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. Apparently I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

I bought a blacksmith business the other day without seeing it first. It wasn't until later that I found out that the whole thing was a forgery.

That's a fine example of a rare Nepalise Hound with principles. Himalayan dog who's taking a stand during a sit-down.

One of the worst jobs in the Yorkshire pits was that one lonely guy in a flat cap who never said a word, just walked around all day with a brush in hand. He was the minesweeper.

A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know," the child said, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me." Confused, the father asked what was wrong. The boy sobbed, "When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech. At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech. If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really sh@g, I'll have nothing left to live for!"

More speculation on Putin's health, including the possibility that he is taking mood changing steroids - known to induce anger and paranoia, as part of his cancer treatment. He is known to have back problems for some time, and now walks with a limp. Investigative journalist Michael Weiss wrote a piece on this in New Lines magazine, and gave an interview to Times Radio: "Ashley Grossman, a professor of endocrinology at Oxford University, told New Lines, "Putin has always been a very fit-looking man with a slightly gaunt appearance, but over the last couple of years, he seems to have filled out in the face and neck. Cushingoid appearance, it’s called, and it’s compatible with steroid use.” Steroids, Grossman said, are typically prescribed for various kinds of lymphoma or myeloma, cancer of the plasma cells, which “can cause widespread bone disease and definitely affect the spinal column and back.” Is Putin Sick – Or Are We Meant to Think He Is? - New Lines Magazine Commonly associated with this is a decline in immunity from other infections, which would explain his covid paranoia and the statement in the interview below that “People in his own administration have to provide faecal samples, and PCR tests apparently in order to get within spitting distance of the guy. He’s become very germ phobic.” The change in his face is quite evident, even in the last few months: February 1st 2022 May 9th 2022

You raise two interesting (in a bad way) points: "of course politicians are going to care about how long the war lasts. At least in those nations where elections have consequences". - It's looking likely that the turmoil caused by the war will ironically lead to this year's election results in at least one major country going in favour of the party that openly supports Putin (maybe not officially, but rather in the words and actions of senior members). In the biggest case, these elections won't affect the leadership of the country, but will (if they go according to prediction) directly affect the legislative branch of government, which has proven time and time again to stymie the efforts of the administration in an attempt to raise the implied perception of their party and lower that of the other, even when it is to the detriment of the country. This should provide impetus to the current administration to try and bring the war to a successful conclusion in the next two years, before the main presidential elections take place, but will conversely provide impetus to the opposing party to do all it can to drag the conflict out as, the longer it goes on for, the more favourable they will be seen. "And they're working on getting others sources of gas". - We constantly hear of the Europeans sourcing gas from places like Qatar, (which will instantly lead to price increases due to lack of pipelines between them), but rarely hear the other side, namely that Qatar already has buyers for close to its entire production, and, without Russian gas, the world simply won't have enough to satisfy every country's requirements. (It is doubtful if it even has enough with Russian supply). If the EU tilts the see-saw in its favour then it has to tilt to someone else's disfavour. A point made in the link below: "Energy poverty in parts of Asia could result as Europe sucks LNG cargoes away from their originally intended destinations,” said Saul Kavonic, an energy analyst at Credit Suisse Group AG... ... Power plants in Pakistan are running out of fuel, and are pleading with the government to make more supply available, according to local reports. As prices remain elevated, fuel shortages are at risk of spreading to Bangladesh, India and Thailand". Global Energy Upheaval Threatens Years of Natural Gas Shortages - BNN Bloomberg I have no solutions, and will no doubt be lambasted as a doomsayer, (and accused of going off topic, but this is a direct result of the Ukraine invasion), however, these are the hard facts. Countries forced to buy from Russia because they can't get any from the "PC" suppliers will be criticised, but may have little other choice until alternatives to gas can take up the full demand - which is still years off.

There was an explosion at the pie factory. The blast could be heard 3.14159265359 miles away.

I wonder if the Wasps rugby club have a B team?

Teacher: "Use the word ‘intermittent’ in a sentence". Johnny: "While I was camping it began to rain hard so I ran intermittent".

When my wife and I argue, I tighten the top of every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say: Oh yeah, you need me now eh?

I went to the pub last night dressed as a tennis ball. I was served straight away.