ballpoint

Sometimes it's a nightmare living near the airport. One time, this 747 flew so low over my condo that, when I walked from my living room to the kitchen, the stewardess told me to sit down.

A guy calls : Hello, is this the Alcoholic Support Line? Yes, comes the answer. Okay, help me out, tell me what's the recipe for a mojito?

Girl goes to the car dealership. Salesman walks over and says “Can I help you with something?” “Stop right there, sir,” she says. “I have done my research, hours on the internet, and I know what I’m doing, so don’t be thinking that because I’m a girl that you can take advantage of me.” Salesman replies “No problem miss, I would never do that and I’m here to listen to your needs and help you find the car you want. So what are you looking for?” She says “Do you have any blue ones?”

I wasn't planning on getting a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.