ballpoint

A blonde goes in McDonalds.

"Big Mac and fries, please."

"What size fries would you like?"

Holds up pinky finger and says, "a bit longer than that but not as wide."

In breaking news, a naked man broke into a church earlier this morning.

The police chased him for an hour before catching him by the organ.

I can't stop eating Polos, Extra Strong Mints, Mentos and TicTacs...

I'm worried I'm going to end up in a menthol institution!

My window cleaner knocked at the door this morning, shouting and swearing.

I thought, blimey he's lost his rag.

Scientists have discovered another deadly pathogen they are calling the 'Peekaboo' virus.

Doctors are sending anyone with Peekaboo straight to ICU.

Well, that's bang out of order.

I grew up on a farm in NZ but, despite riding a motorbike from the age of 6, driving our old Series 1 Land Rover as soon as my feet could reach the pedals, and getting my license at the age of 15, I never owned a vehicle there.  At 16 I went to university, so couldn't afford one, and at 20 got a job in Singapore for a multinational, so didn't need one (back then). In 1990, aged 23, I transferred to their Thailand operation, living in Bangkok, and initially didn't get a car, but, after meeting and marrying my wife, wanted to travel around the country and get off the beaten track, so bought my first ever vehicle.  The last of (IMHO) the really indestructible Hiluxes.  And we've still got it.  It's the work horse of the farm and huge fun on the dirt tracks, especially in the wet season.

That opened the flood gates, and I've had a number of cars, motorbikes, and other assorted vehicles, since then.

One of our tractors with one of my bikes (note the use of "our" and "my):

One of my cars, an A250 Sport, since sold, with another of my bikes, a Triumph Rocket 3, still owned.  The bike's got the bigger engine of the two:

A few of my bikes.  Like convertibles, I'm hooked on them.  Must have something to do with the wind in your hair and all that, or maybe I'm just a dog at heart:

38 minutes ago, AlfHuy said:

The problem is, I have never ever seen a Thai or even foreigner driving in Thailand with the roof down.

I had a BMW640d Cabrio before moving. Would have loved to bring it over.

The evenings and early mornings are perfect for top down driving.  I'm hooked on it.  From 2010 to 2015 I foolishly accepted a work assignment in KL and Singapore and bought a Mercedes SLK to ease the pain of those ghastly places.

I've also owned two other Benz convertibles / cabriolets here, and still have the cabriolet.

How do you milk sheep?
Release another iPhone

Three women, one engaged to be married, one a mistress, and the other married for 20+ years were chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes. They agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.
Here's how it all went.
The engaged one: The other night when my fiance came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams...I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long.
The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.
The married one: When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said,
" What's for dinner, Zorro?"

10 hours ago, KannikaP said:

My first after passing test in 1966.

 

Had a full width front bench seat and a column shift, so rumpy pumpy in the front was easy.

I then progressed onto a 6 cylinder Velox, YTD 313. Insurance was £6 a year, fully comp!

 

 

Amazing what can trigger memories.  When I was a kid my father's younger brother had one of them, also in black, and would often bring it to our farm, where we had a good workshop, to tinker with it.  I remember my father bending over the engine once and, forgetting about that wicked curve in the front of the bonnet, suddenly straightening up and cracking the back of his head against it.  Cue cursing from my father and howls of laughter from my uncle and I.   I must have been about 10 years old and hadn't remembered this for years till I saw your photo.  God knows what happened to the car since then, but my father and uncle are no longer with us, so every memory of them is a good one.