ballpoint

Not a particularly early memory, but I was fascinated by our neighbours new TV - I think it was a Pye. Not only was it a rare colour one, but it also had the first remote control I'd ever seen. It used an ultrasonic wave, and their dog would howl every time the channel or volume were changed.

I just saw a man being arrested by an albino policeman. I thought, "That's a fair cop."

I'm off to Greenwich in a bit. Need to figure out what to do in the mean time!

The next person that asks me for rum, pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade and a slice of orange in the same glass is going to get a punch!

I just started a business building yachts in my attic. Sails are through the roof!

Anyone else getting this? It's Deja vu all over again, or the worst joke version of Groundhog Day. Either way, we're stuck in the funny zone. Edit: After I posted this it all reset itself.

I went to a fancy dress party as an alarm clock but I had to leave early. People kept winding me up.

Burglars broke into my bathroom last night. Luckily they only took my broken scales. They won't get a weigh with it.

People are often shocked when they find out I’m not a very good electrician.