ballpoint

A video showing a Russian soldier who claims he surrendered to the Ukrainians in Kursk because the North Koreans assigned to fight with them started firing at the Russians, killing two of them. "I decided it was better to surrender in this situation, than be killed by our own bullet" is how he puts it. I guess they all look alike to the Koreans.

Britain, 2024!

Just like this place then.

It’s not widely known, but The Vatican State has entered a team at every modern Olympic Games. You never see them competing though, because they pull out at the last minute.

Top Tip for the Lads If your wife or girlfriend catches you looking at another woman, quietly turn to her and say "I'm pleased you don't dress like that" Follow me for more relationship advice

I named my daughter after my mother-in-law. Raving Psycho will soon be a year old.

My girlfriend just dumped me. She said in a teary tirade: “I can’t take your sh** any more. You’re so pedantic. Everything I do is wrong. I loved you so much, but it’ll never be enough for you. I’m leaving now. Me and Gary are driving up north through the night and then you’ll never hear from me again” She was about to close the door when I yelled “No, no….waaait” She turned back, tears in her eyes, a glimmer of hope still remained. That was when I uttered those three magic words. “Gary and I"

There won't be enough to go round.