ballpoint

That clock's rooted.

Sounds more like wind to me.

These jokes watt I'm reading are shocking, you should be grounded. If they don't stop then I'm calling a copper to charge you until it hertz.

With these strong winds, I'm worried about the caravan in the garden ! We didn't have one yesterday.

The only reason I married my wife was because I thought she was a millionaire.. But as it turns out, she makes hats.

I was standing in the queue in Aldi earlier and a voice announced "Checkout no.5 please." I thought, I've seen better..

It’s been six months since I joined the gym, and I’m still not seeing any benefit. So I’m going there in person tomorrow to find out what the problem is.

In Britain you can discover over 150 years of history just by posting a letter.

If it's good enough for Rudi...

McAfee has simply put three of the virus infected charges in quarantine, to be decided upon later.

The Earth is 4.6 billion years old. The first life forms we are aware of are 3.7 billion years old. Even so, unless intelligent lifeforms were close enough to see the Earth, there would have been few clues that life existed here from even the nearest planetary systems - analysis of the sharp rise in oxygen in the atmosphere once photosynthesis got going (around 3.3 billion years ago) would have been one, but would in no way have indicated that intelligent life existed here. The thing to consider is scale. As Douglas Adams said, “Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.” The first clues to our existence would be from radio waves broadcast into space. The first broadcast was in 1835, but that had only a 2 km range. The first broadcast to another planet was to Venus in 1962. The first broadcast intentionally made to another star system was the Arecibo message, in 1974. It was aimed at the M13 cluster, some 25,000 light years away. Given that it has now travelled the grand distance of 50 light years (happy anniversary), it will be some time before we get a reply. Even if some of the relatively stronger signals from the 1920's are still propagating through space, they'll only have reached a sphere of 200 light years diameter, as illustrated by the following schematic showing the Milky Way. Our radio signals have covered a volume inside the blue dot. (Not to be confused with Sagan's "pale blue dot", which is another pointer to our insignificance in the Solar System, let alone the galaxy, let alone the universe). And to get a reply by now, they would have to be half that distance away, for the return signal to reach us in that time: Galactic Map of Every Human Radio Broadcast - How Far Have Our Signals Traveled Into Space? (popularmechanics.com) Even if the universe is teaming with intelligent life, it will be some time before they even know we're here, and even longer before they can do anything about it. By the time we get a return message, the human race will likely be long gone. Two things are required by other intelligent life if they are already here: faster than light speed travel, and faster than light speed communications - not using the electromagnetic spectrum, or we would have detected them by now. Who knows what discoveries a far more advanced civilisation than ours will have made? We can only guess, because we certainly haven't developed them. It's also highly likely that the window between intelligent life evolving and going extinct on any given planet is a relatively small one comparted to the age of the universe, so given the vast size, and vast time periods we're dealing with, the chances of multiple civilisations all coexisting within spatial range at the same time, are likely very low. The headline of this thread specifically states "aliens", but the body of the OP discusses finding simple, likely single celled, life forms on places like Mars, Europa, and Enceladus. The term "aliens", as compared to "alien life forms", suggests intelligence, rather than bacterial. I'd say, given the probes planned and already launched, we have our best chance of finding simple life forms on another planet, or moon, in the next decades. In fact, I'd go as far to say, we have our only chance. If we don't discover any in that period, the probability of them existing drops enormously. In my opinion, the odds are likely better than even that we do find simple life elsewhere in the Solar System in the next decade or two, but vey small that we find evidence of intelligent life elsewhere in the Milky Way, and near zero in another galaxy, in the same time period. Even if they are teaming with it.

The rule "i before e, except after c" has just been disproven by science.

A ghost walks into a bar. The barman says "sorry, we don't serve spirits here".

A bad limbo dancer walks into a bar...