Wolfie

at this rate it will be in phuket by... ooh June! <quivvers>

Better check the fire extingishers!

I hope no-one got hurt in the fire!

Right, that's it then. Where do I go to try it?

Just go outside after dark, head for dulsit tones of eminem, sit yourself down on a bar stool, order a beer, wink at what ever takes your fancy and then ask her how much...

Ahh the cultured art of seduction, cant beat it

I know who I am - I'm the guy who's sitting here Blissfully Ignorant! Thanks for the advice mate, always appreciate an enlightening insight

heres another "pearl of wisdom" for you then

"Dont knock it until you've tried it"

Oh man what a load of tripe this conversation is...

Anyone who uses the services of a pro is no better than the pro. If you think that the fact you paid the money instead of receiving it makes you better, you're in lala land. Shut the fark up and accept who you are.

Try it sometime, you might find yourself less prone to outbursts of frustration

It happens but no one suppose to know that it happens and why it happens but everyone knows why it happens but pretend that they don't know why it happens but really does know why it happens and that is what it happens to be.

come again?

Just found This on the BBC website...

As a wise man once said, "It it flies, floats or f*$ks, it's best to rent it".

hehe - i like that one

you will find no clean air in Thailand,anywhere.

You wanna try round by my gaff in phuket matey, lovely clean air...

I haven't, Doc. I tried to avoid at all cost as I was afraid I would run into some ###### like erco.

You wouldnt meet a masterbating person like Erco in London, Idiots like that never leave their grotty little social security bedsits, they eat pot-noodles, drink coke and jerk off to pictures of britney spears

thats a he11uva bong if you guys can see the smoke from there

What a disgusting thought... made me giggle tho

I may not agree with what erco has to say sometimes but this is a forum where ideas and opinions can be expressed freely right?  Everyone's got an opinion and he's just posting them here, think of him as the devil's advocate, it's good to have debates and clash on opinions from time, but everything in moderation of course!

His comments hardly inspire well thought out discussion and debate... hes just crusing for an argument and trying to get people mad at him (which he does quite well at)...

If he were to come out with more thought provoking topics then i would agree whole heartedly with you, but alas hes just a troll that needs flameing

Erco, your denying your village of its Idiot, go home already!

as we say in blighty...

hes a can short of a six-pack or a sandwich short of a picnik.

nah - its much more fun to flame the troll

Posh and Becks are sitting in front of the television watching the

six o'clock news.The main story is a man threatening to jump off

the Clifton Suspension Bridge on to the busy road below. Posh turns to

Becks and says: "David,I bet you ?,000 that he jumps!" to which

Beckham replies "?,000? Done! I bet that he doesn't." So they shake

hands on the bet and continue watching. Sure enough, the man jumps

and hits the road below with a loud thud. Beckham takes ?,000 out

of his back pocket and hands it to Posh. But she refuses.

"I can't take your money, David," she says.

"The truth is, I was cheating. I saw the five o'clock news, so

I knew he was going to jump."

"No, babe, fair's fair" says David.

"That money is yours fair and square I was cheating just as you

were. I saw the five o'clock news, too. I just didn't think he

would do it again."

The Manchester United players are in the dressing room on Saturday,

just before the game, when Roy Keane walks in. "Boss," he says,

"there's a problem. I'm not playing unless I get a cortisone injection."

"Hey," says Becks. "If he's having a new car, so am I."

David Beckham goes shopping, and sees something interesting in the

kitchen department of a large department store. "What's that?" he

asks.

"A Thermos flask," replies the assistant.

"What does it do?" asks Becks.

The assistant tells him it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.

Really impressed, Beckham buys one and takes it along to his next

training session.

"Here, boys, look at this," Beckham says proudly.

"It's a Thermos flask."

The lads are impressed. "What does it do?" they ask.

"It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold, "says David.

"And what have you got In it?" asks Roy Keane.

"Two cups of coffee and a Choc ice," replies David.

Posh takes her car into a garage to have some dents removed. The

mechanic knowing she isn't the brightest Spice Girl in the world,

decides to play a joke on her. "You don't need me to take those dents

out," he says. "Just blow up the exhaust pipe and the metal will pop

back into place". So she takes the car home and tries it. David spots

her from the house,opens a window and shouts

"You silly cow! You have to wind the windows up first!"

David Beckham is celebrating: "57 days, 57 days!" he shouts happily.

Posh asks him why he is celebrating. He answers: "Well, I've done this

jigsaw in only 57 days." "Is that good?" asks Posh. "You bet," says David.

"It says 3 to 5 years on the box."

Victoria Beckham and her driver were cruising along a country road

one evening when a cow ran in front of the car. The driver tried to

avoid it but couldn't -the cow was killed. Posh told her driver to

go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what happened.

About an hour later, the driver staggered back to the car with his

clothes in disarray. He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a

cigar in the other and smiling happily. "What happened?" asked Posh .

"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the wine, his wife

gave me the cigar, and their beautiful daughter made mad passionate

love to me." "My God, what did you tell them?" asked Posh. The driver

replied: "I'm Victoria Beckham's driver, and I just killed the cow."

I dunno what the lady at the laundry shop uses... but it always comes back soft, smelling nice and ironed... and sometimes i even get everything back!!!

An elderly couple go to a sex therapist's office.

The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?"

The man says, "Will you watch us have s*xual intercourse?"

The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an

elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.

When the couple finish, the doctor says, "There's absolutely nothing

wrong with the way you have intercourse."

He thanks them for coming, wishes them good luck, charges them $50 and

says goodbye.

The next week, however, the couple return and asks the sex therapist to

watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees. This

happens several weeks in a row. The couple make an appointment, have

intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.

Finally, after 5 or 6 weeks of this routine, the doctor says, "I'm

sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?"

The old man says, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married

and we can't go to her house; I'm married and we can't go to my house;

the Holiday Inn charges $98; the Hilton charges $139; we do it here for

$50, and I get $43 back from BUPA!"

Where are Goosethai and Erco when we really need them? With all the knob polishers starting posts about Muslims and Iraq in this topic, the next thing you

know we'll be debating GWB's State of the Union Address in the

Farang Food and Fun topic. I can hardly wait!

Apologies if you didnt like my thread about Iraq... but you didnt have to read it, you could have just ignored it Of course, if the admins feel the thread isnt appropriate i'm sure they will excersise their rights/powers and delete/lock it.

As for the muslim thread, i couldnt say as i havent read it (im not interesting in any muslim bashing)

but yeah bring back goosethai or erco, gives the bored trolls something to do other than complain they dont like a few threads in the forum...

So now you just have to send a threatening letter to get a sovereign nation to do what you want, you don't even have to kill anybody.

Man, we are really making it easy for these people.

TH

haha - if it was only that easy...

At the end of the day, its got nothing to do with me, i just come here, spout my opinions and then go do something else... i'll leave the running of the country to the elected officals.

Interesting peice of news in the News Clippings thats related to this, kinda...

The letter, sent from a group calling itself the "Yellow-Red Overseas Organization," said the group would launch terrorist attacks on major facilities in eight countries, including South Korea, between April 20 and 30, said Yonhap.

The other specified countries were Japan, Thailand, the Philippines, Singapore, Australia, Kuwait and Pakistan.

Lets just Pray and Hope we dont get the kind of retaliation that Spain recieved... that would be beyond destructive for Thailands tourist industry, not to mention the humanitarian implications... <sigh>

A friend of mine was stopped driving back from the airport in phuket at the weekend, apparently the police were checking vehichles for bombs and explosive devices... now that is worrying!

Maybe, just maybe, the Thai PM wants to pull the thai troops out before this happens... and i for one, would not blame him.

Sorry if this is in the wrong section, i wasnt allowed to post in news clippings

The Thai Prime Minister, Thaksin Shinawatra, also said on Tuesday that he would order a withdrawal if the situation in Iraq becomes too dangerous.

Full report, which reports Powell rallying support in Iraq can be found Here

(Scroll right to the bottom of the report for the quote)

They don't bleat out: "Me so Horney. Me love you Long Time" anymore?

I've not heard that down here, must be a BKK thang

If i heard that one, i might just challenge her claim and find out if she can dance or just sing.. hehe

|*| Disclaimer |*|

of course, i dont engage in that kind of thing, never paid for it in my life, bar girls and pros are disgusting, scum of the earth, aint they Erco?

Past

Middle England, Warwickshire, Stratford On Avon (Shakespeares town)

Present

Abandoned on the tropcial island of Phuket

The last time i used a tuk tuk the driver quoted me some out rageous price, when i began to haggle the theiving git down he wipped out a card, pointed to a line on it that stated our present location and my destination and the number of Km between them, it also had a price on it... the price was still too high, so i smiled and walked away. Funny enough he soon dropped the price to a more acceptable level and i was whisked away to my desired location.

Maybe, just maybe the tuk tuk mafia is begining to see some sense and fix their pricing (Still too high, but its a start, right?) with more and more metered taxi's kicking around its got to happen sooner or later.

But i feel your pain, as a rule i dont use tuk tuks because i hate getting ripped off by a thai guy who stinks of cheap thai whisky, I know it sounds a bit bitter and twisted but it does get my goat up!

I want to save my cash for my cheap vodka!