ravip

Sister Mary Frances woke one morning, got dressed and left her room to go for breakfast in the nunnery. On the way she met a nun who said, “you got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning!” Feeling a bit confused she carried on but met another nun who said, “you got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning!” This happened on several more occasions until by the time she met the mother superior she was totally fuming. Sister Mary Frances told her, quite sharply, “I know what you are about to say...don’t ask if I got out of the wrong side of the bed!”. The mother superior said, “Actually I was going to ask why you are wearing the bishop’s shoes”.

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A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "Mother of Six," to her displeasure. One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mother of six, we're leaving now." She replies, "Be right with you, father of four."

To the women who say "Men are only interested in one thing" Have you ever considered being more interesting?

Here is a picture of my wife's tits.

After kissing a girl on the sofa she said “let’s take this upstairs” “Ok” I said “ You grab one end and I’ll grab the other”

I saw 4 guys beating up 1 guy so i stopped to help... He had no chance against all 5 of us.

For past 20 years, my wife has been complaining about my not putting the cap back on the toothpaste. This anniversary, I decided to change this bad habit and make my wife happy. For a week, I was diligent, always capping the toothpaste. I was expecting my wife to thank me, but she never did it. Finally, last night, she turned and looked at me and said - "Why have you stopped brushing your teeth since a week ??" Marriage is a social crime, I tell you.

Try your luck! Want to win a new cellphone for Christmas? Scratch below with a nail. ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ Good luck!!!

A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder… The barkeep greets him, and says, “Cool newt! What’s its name?” The man responds, “His name is Tiny” The barkeep asks, “why is it called tiny?” The man answers, “Because he’s my-newt”

Four CEO's of beer companies are having a Meeting and they decide to get drunk. The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud light. The CEO of Miller orders a Miller lite. The CEO of Coors orders a Coors light. The CEO of Guinness orders a Coke. The three CEO's then ask him.. "Why aren't you ordering a Guinness"? He Replies 'If you guys aren't drinking beer, then neither will I. "

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Irish Confession: "I went into the confessional box after many years of being away from the Catholic Church. "Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On one wall, there was a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses. "On the other wall was a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates. “When the priest came in, I said to him,'Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be.'” He replied, "Patrick, you moron, you're on my side."

I installed Windows 11 on a PC that is about 10 years old and it is working quite good.

On my dual-boot PC, I found my Windows 11 automatically activated! Luckily, my Windows 10 too is still up and running. Is this normal? MS detects my MS email address and links Windows 11 to it and activate it automatically? - as long as my Windows 10 is licensed, I guess.

Today all seems fine! Yes, KB5008295 had been installed. Windows 11 feels good... and I like it too !

*A list of STRENUOUS ACTIVITIES that do not require too much PHYSICAL EFFORT...* 01) Beating around the bush. 02) Jumping to conclusions... 03) Climbing up the wall... 04) Swallowing your pride... 05) Passing the buck... 06) Throwing your weight around... 07) Dragging your heels... 08) Pushing your luck... 09) Making mountains out of molehills... 10) Hitting the nail on the head... 11) Wading through paperwork... 12) Bending over backwards... 13) Jumping on the bandwagon... 14) Balancing the books... 15) Running around in circles... 16) Eating crow... 17) Blowing your own horn... 18) Climbing the ladder of success... 19) Pulling out all stops... 20) Adding fuel to the fire... 21) Opening a can of worms... 22) Putting your foot in your mouth... 23) Setting the ball rolling... 24) Going over the edge... 25) Picking up the pieces... *Whew!* *That is some workout!* *Now SIT DOWN, and...* 26) *Exercise Caution!*