ravip

VID-20220522-WA0007.mp4

If it's so difficult, maybe you could try producing one... Will take awhile, I guess.

My parents told me I could name my new pet dog anything I wanted and since I was a mischievous little boy, I decided to name the dog Sex. It seemed funny at first until you understand all the confusion that this caused me in my later life. Like the day that I went to the town hall to get a dog license for Sex. The clerk asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a licence for Sex. He said, “I’d like to have one, too.” Then, I said, “You don’t understand. She’s a dog.” He replied, “Look man, I don’t care how she looks.” “No no, I’ve had Sex since I was 5!” He replied, “You must have been an early bloomer.” *************** When I decided to get married, I told the minister I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me I’d have to wait until after the wedding. When I protested that Sex had played a big part in my life and that my whole life revolved around Sex, he said he didn’t want to hear about my personal life. *************** After my wife and I got married, I took the dog with us on the honeymoon. When I checked into the hotel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and wanted one for Sex. She replied, “Sir, every room in the hotel can be used for sex.” I said, “You don’t understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.” The clerk said, “Me too!” *************** When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. When I told the Judge I had Sex before I was married, he grinned and said, “Me too.” *************** One day my dog Sex and I took a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for that dog. A policeman came by and asked what I was doing in this alley at midnight. I told him, “I’m looking for Sex!” My case comes up next Tuesday. *************** Now that I’ve been thrown in jail, married, divorced and had more trouble with that dog than I ever imagined, I’m in counseling. My psychiatrist asked me what my problem was. I said, “Sex has left my life. It’s like losing a best friend and I’m so lonely.” He said, “Look, you and I both know that sex isn’t man’s best friend. Why don’t you go get yourself a dog...”

An Army Sniper goes to a Rifle shop to buy a new telescope for his Gun. Manager takes out one & says: "This scope is so good, you can see my house one km up on that hill." The Sniper looks through the telescope & laughs:"I see a naked man and a naked woman in your house." Manager looks in the scope. He then gives two bullets to the sniper and says: "I'll give you this scope free, if you shoot my wife's head off and the guy's Dick." The Sniper looks through the scope again and says : "Well !! Now it seems like I can do that with one bullet !!!"

VID-20220518-WA0024.mp4

Thank you very much for your very helpful response. Has she registered and been accepted into a program? Does she already have a student visa? - Yes to both questions. As per a post above, showing some bad reviews about this institution, is there any 'protection' for the foreign student in case of a genuine dispute? Or will the student be just sent home?

1. What university is she attending? Greenwich College Level 8, 120 Spencer Street Melbourne, VIC 3000 Australia 2. Is she planning on becoming a "little ghost". ???? No - will be there for just over one year!

A friend's daughter, Thai National, will leave to Australia (Melbourne) for studies, in a couple of months. I would like to have some recommendations about the following, which will be of immense help. Can she open a bank account on a students visa? If yes, what's the best bank that can be recommended for money transfers from Thailand? What would be the best method for her parents to transfer money from Thailand. Any possibility of finding reliable student accommodation in the vicinity of the College? Thank you in advance.

How very true... Life is so uncertain.

Every where we see this "Fully Vaccinated" phrase. As of today 09 May 2022, who would qualify being "Fully Vaccinated" for the Thailand Pass? - 2, 3 or 4 shots? Duration? (I hope this is not a duplicate post, but I couldn't find the info)

Why Tarzan doesn't have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? What is the speed of darkness? Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours? If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Did you ever stop and wonder... Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Stop singing and read on... Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" My father taught me LOGIC "Because I said so, that's why My mother taught me MORE LOGIC "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." My mother taught me FORESIGHT Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." My father taught me IRONY "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about." My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM "Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" My mother taught me about STAMINA "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." My mother taught me about WEATHER "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY "If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!" My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION "Stop acting like your father!" My mother taught me about ENVY "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION "Just wait until we get home." My mother taught me about RECEIVING "You are going to get it from your father when he gets home!" My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way." My mother taught me ESP "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" My father taught me HUMOUR "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." My mother taught me GENETICS "You're just like your father." My mother taught me about my ROOTS "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" My mother taught me WISDOM "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." My father taught me about JUSTICE "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!" This should be sent only to the over 60 crowd, because the younger ones would not believe we truly were told this!

Q. What do you call an expert fisherman? A. A Master Baiter

VID-20220425-WA0008.mp4

VID-20220424-WA0034.mp4

A group of army officers from a certain cantonment were sent far out of town for a week long training camp. On the last day, when they were winding up the camp to get back home, all other officers decided to pull a prank on the junior-most officer, a newly married Lieutenant. They put a pack of condoms in his bag without him noticing it. When the Lieutenant got home, his wife found the condoms while unpacking his stuff. When confronted, the Lieutenant realized the prank and simply said, *"All of us got this complimentary from Headquarters. I didn't use mine . . . , others did."* For over 2 weeks now, the whole cantonment is in a turmoil, as other wives are demanding explanations from their husbands !!