Shiver

This is an area I need to study, as I'm not up to date on the current status.  If he's going to 'own' then it would have to be something like a company and/or 30+30 year lease (please correct me if I'm out of date which is highly likely).

In my own situation I want to buy a house that will be in her name only and she owns it 100% no questions.  I also intend to get some other property which is outside of that and would like it to be a 'business' acquisition (outside of our relationship).  I think the latter is where your friend needs to study, as do I. 

On ‎8‎/‎17‎/‎2018 at 10:45 AM, Kwasaki said:

Remember over the years lots of theory's and experiments on fuels found to be efficient and cheap are trashed or silenced by oil companies buying them up.

Yeah.  While I don't like to be called 'tin foil hat' (or farang) I do think there are healthy reasons to maintain a little skepticism.

I trust my own experience over statistics.  It's just a survival thing that all of us here and now have done. Failure is learning and all that...

18 hours ago, The Deerhunter said:

I am sorry. I do  not know what Google did to that.   (I think) it should read, with some clarification:  "At PT stations ( which have a green sign advertising their brand, not the Blue sign which is PTT), it is called "benzine gow ha."  "Gow ha" is Thai for 9 and 5, not 95 which is "gow sip ha".  Benzine  Gow Ha has an orange sticker saying 95 on the pumps.  The fuel itself is always a light green colour.  Sorry about all that.

If school days are recalled correctly "Benzine" was petrol in German.

So that would be Gasoline 95 as you suggest.

13 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Interesting. I was not aware acetone was rated so highly in terms of octane.

An alternative hypothesis - acetone is mutually soluble with hydrocarbon or water. As water contamination in fuels is always an issue with fuels, perhaps the improved performance is due to a better azeotrope.

Are you sure the quantity is 1 mL ( millilitre )? I would have thought 1 litre in a fuel tank of ( for example ) 70 litres would be necessary to have any effect.

Actually, now that you mention it, I think it was per litre, but with a full tank to know how many litres. 0.2% or 0.25% or something in that ball park.

If you google you will find a lot of reasons to debunk it.

You will also find a lot of people that got results.

In my own case it was mostly the response to the throttle being more immediate.  I didn't go to the trouble of mileage testing or getting it on a dyno as it was just a curiosity (and someone else truck Lol!).  I guess at that time it must have been a 2003-2004 Toyota.

Some claim that it was worth it for older engines, but just not required in newer engines since they burn cleaner, and the fuel these days already has additives to stop it coking up or other things we'd all forgotten about.

I am not an Auto engineer btw, so take all the above with a pinch of salt (just not in the tank!).

11 hours ago, MadameM said:

Huh! What do you mean by avoiding Thai soaps? 

Chewing gum/mak farang for the brain.

Forgive me if any of these details are incorrect.  Perhaps someone else can chime in:

Buy a small bottle of nail varnish remover for 10 baht (it's just acetone).  Acetone has an octane rating of 150 (the max on the scale).  To a full tank of gasoline or Diesel you probably only want somewhere in the region of 1ml (depending on tank size, quality of local fuel etc).  I tried this in a diesel truck here a few times.  I think (without measuring it accurately) it perhaps had a little more go, or a little better economy, but not enough to be sure from confirmation bias.  What I did notice for sure though was that it was much smoother and didn't hesitate from a standing start nearly as much.

I did (or at least I did in UK) think that 98 was 'high performance', whereas apparently that's not the case at all.  More like it softens the ignition into a smooth burn rather than an explosion with a better flame front.  Or summik like that.

Of course, do your own research first if you're thinking of doing this....

On 8/14/2018 at 10:28 AM, MadameM said:

The Internet write can't heal my pain, if any ? Being just retired for the past two months excites me to continue practice writing in English that I've spent 12 years to master it -- as a second-language learner level. I found posts in ThaiVisa are resourceful, interesting, and fun. I burst out laughing many times reading you, gentlemen, snapping on each other, and that gets my hubby's attention many times.

Talking about therapy, therapist, psychiatrist and all, I've been through all of those. It's so common and fashion-liked in the US with no absolute result costing you a fortune!  I eventually found that the foundation I was bringing up to as a good Buddhist is my strong hold for most of my emotional problems. I just let go, skip reading things that upset me, never watch Fox News, and refuse the existence of self. At 61, I'm contented. 

In term of the contexts are going out of the topic, I am thinking about a healthy tree -- keep on growing up (so many pages) with all kinds of branches, leaves, flowers, and fruits. The weak tree will die short, skinny, and fruitless.

Good to hear about the avoidance of Fox News.  You truly are naturalised.  Does the same apply to avoiding Thai soaps though? ???

On 8/13/2018 at 3:05 PM, NonthaburiBear said:

How many Thai woman did you know ? all Thai woman are mostly stubborn and submissiveto their partner whichh lead to domination.?  just be wary if she's leave you

Not sure I follow.  I mean she's stubborn in sticking to what she believes (however right or wrong - and I being farang she assumes I know nothing of course, except to be the cleaner upper of all the f'ups she and others make).

I don't care to mention in public how many women I knew.  I've had just two Thai gf's, the latter being my now wife.  I don't try to control, I only suggest.  I've tried to make her leave for a month one time when she got too comfortable that there was everything on a plate.   She instantly cr'pped herself because she knows that although I'm gentle and kind, I don't pull punches.  Harmony was quickly restored.

A very good reason to stop being a student.  No loans you can't pay back, no indoctrination, avoid the (non) moral government codes, enjoy your life and learn hands on instead of at the end of a stick.

Sad day for students.  They can be of age and still not allowed to live their life the way they want to.

Years ago I was always complaining about how poor the braking ability of my (then) Fortuna was, which is basically just a pick-up with a lid on it.

I see this video and it supports my experience.  F1 cars and TukTuks and Bikes do not have the same metrics on a road, and accidents will happen...

12 hours ago, MadameM said:

Lovely Sunday morning here in California -- no yellow sky filled with smog from 17 wildfires!

Enjoy reading your story... so much that... a Thai wife in California wants to jump in ?

As they said Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, usually wives have been thinking about something for several long days and nights before they start acting up physically. I have been there and done that with no or little result. Hubby won't get it! You cry your eyes out; you scream your head off -- he won't get it. We have different mindsets chemically or something. So, now and after 25 years, if I want to give him a piece of my mind, I just take away his TV remote control -- to get his attention, and say it! He may be upset; I may be more agitated. Then he yells -- most of the time I yell first. Get up, walk away, bang the door... Six hours later, I come toward him and apologize for my bad temper and harsh words; he takes turn apologize for his ignorance. And, there we go again -- the same old boring soap opera! on a strong, human-relationship foundation. Love is still there, but there're something else that keep two different people together.

 

This line has nothing to do with the topic, but I saw you mention about oat rolls, so my question is where can we find the old-style oat rolls, steel cut oat and oat bran in Thailand or Chiang Rai (I'll be in Chiang Rai in 2 weeks - exciting!). I ate oat-rolls + steel cut oat + oat bran and cook them together patiently. Then have my oat meal with milk and fresh fruits. It reduces my cholesterol down from 294 to 227 in 6 months. I took this recipe out of the checking line in a store when I saw an old, white male with three kinds of oat. I was curious and we started talking. Soon later I try the recipe myself and love my oatmeal for the result and the taste.  O.K. is there any place in the Kingdom that I can buy these three kinds of oat. I am thinking of bringing them with me to Thailand. 

One of the many things I love about my wife is she's not a "plate smasher".  She has never ever shouted at me, nor I her.  That would be an end game to me and I'd show her the door, make sure she had enough resources to kick start her life again and close the door behind her.  She'd cry maybe 2 teardrops then move on.  She's stubborn like that and would go and take care of rubber trees with her brother or something.  I'd be 2 years or more before I was ready to trust anyone again.  I've also learned that once she's made her mind up then that never gets re-evaluated.  I've tried to encourage her to re-think things, and once she did just to humour me, but she snapped back to her original opinion and dug in, so I don't try at all now.  That gets complicated when 'A' likes B, B likes C, D likes A and B but not C   etc.  I try to juggle times and places to meet people and coordinate where and who might be doing whatever, and it takes the fun out of it. I burn myself out and my girl thinks I'm wasting her resources on others.  I'm not.  I'm slaughtering my own resources (health and mind) to accommodate others to the point of damaging myself, and eventually I take a Vitamin Leo (or 3) and then I'm a bad person.  If everyone (including my wife) would carry their own bags then I wouldn't be doing that, but it's easier to lean on me on demand and I'm so soft/stupid I try to please all people.  I have several friends, but only 1 wife and she takes exception to not owning the game, when she's actually causing a lot of what she doesn't like about me.  Btw, how much does internet write to yourself therapy cost? ? 

In the current scenario she will eventually say what's on her mind (or tell a friends wife so it can be conveyed back to me which, strangely to me seems to be a common trait here).  If it's about something in my behaviour that she doesn't like, I will counter, give examples and learn together what/when/why/how.  That's fine.

The issue she has now (I think....) is she thinks because I'm with friends who are currently in town, drinking in places that have 'rent able' women, that I must be doing that.  I do *not* do that, never have done her wrong or given reason for her to lose face.  At all.  If I were single then I'd maybe sometimes entertain the idea, in which case I would be a single guy just being about town and still honest, but make it clear that it's nothing more than a short business deal...again Lol.  I chose my girl because I saw something special in her, amplified by her being Unobtanium, and for some reason she accepted, many years ago.  I didn't *need* anyone, I had learned to procure what I needed without anyone else's help.  I'm a lucky man and I know that, but sometimes I think she forgets that she's lucky too, and I feel bad that sometimes I have to install some manners and everything is good for a while.  This is one of those.

Btw, the previous banter about oats.  She made them this morning.  I didn't ask what happened to yesterdays breakfast as I didn't want her to think to much about 'stupt farang, mai tong kit maak'.  Which in Thai probably means "my hovercraft is full of eels" or something.

I must apologise to OP as this is a branch off a branch away from the tree trunk of the original post.

23 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Makro sells their own brand 'rolled oats', in the same aisle as cornflakes, usually just to the right.

About 50bht/Kg.

 

PS, don't treat your wife as your servant, and you'll have fewer confrontations in the home.

 

I serve her, so if I'm not to do that, then I'm open to ideas as to what will I do?

4 hours ago, Wilsonandson said:

What a fuss. A couple of scratches on the bumper. A little paint, buff and polish, sorted.

A couple of decades ago a bit of 'tet' sand and spray would make it like new.  Today there's so much stuff stashed away in electronics and whatever they're controlling, a minor prang can easily be a write off.

I mean, if you're in the market for a Maclaren type item, would you buy new or say "ah, history says only one crash, I'll go cheap"?  Someone will buy that at auction for 200Kbaht, buy a new switch which is part of a package part_ID that's 4 mill, and this 'n that and it comes to new cost (that's where the power of eBay and a bit of nous can work wonders if you know your onions).  Well, except that you can divide the price by 3 if you're buddies with the import officer on that shift.

If Thailand made supercars...I'd buy a Carlesberg.

From the Insurers point of view, they must be pleased as punch that everyone and their aunty have a dash cam.  People are paying to give info that they can save costs on - Brilliant! 

On 8/11/2018 at 11:48 AM, BritManToo said:

But at least I'm not a racist and know more than one Thai word.

Unfortunately, when you are one of the most exceptional in the world, you have to lower your standards for friends and partners or remain alone. I did once date a woman who was my equal, the sex was good but we constantly fought for supremacy.

 

Spidey, (...and this is not aimed at Britman quote btw - just a point where I jumped into the thread and nothing more or less), but I think some are being overly harsh to you.  To me it sounds like you've worked out a position you enjoy that works for you that you might suggest is maybe not 100%, but right up there in the high percentiles of success by *your own* standards (they're the ones that count) that works for you.

Of all of us on TV, it seems some people only know how to drag people down.  Putting online behaviour aside for a moment, I see this a lot more in everyday life than I'd hope for, and it's as if people who cannot pull themselves up, they want to pull others down.  One phrase I remember from many years ago was "There are two ways of making a mark in life.  1. You get to have a Rolls Royce. 2.  You can scratch someone elses Rolls Royce".  A bit over simplistic of course, but you get the general drift.

I don't talk about anything here that is about what I *really* think feel or do.  It's sanitised, photoshopped, cropped with just enough left in there for people to have a believable CGI Hollywood story.  There are no lies and I'm not misleading, but just trying to keep it to a couple of paragraphs rather than a workshop manual in progress.

If you'd have asked me at 10pm last night what I think of my wife I would paint glowing images.  An hour later close to polar opposite.  Does it matter to TV? No, not a jot.

Here's a fairly typical scenario that I think many will be able to paint their own version in the same framework:

I wake up, and I'm coming out of a dream where there is a bowl of Quaker rolled oats.  I open my eyes and wifey is making her 'slimming' coffee.  I say "if I look online for an image of a cereal can you see if they sell it in Tops/Villa or somewhere?". "Jok finished late already", "yeah that's fine, but I'd like some rolled oats, I don't know how to say in Thai, so if I show you an image would you look next time you're shopping?", "Urg".  "What did I just ask for, were you listening?" "Urg", (louder) "what question did I just ask you?" "no have Jok, 11 oclock *already*!", "yes I know, but I'm not asking about Jok, I'm asking about something else, do you remember?".  I take a deep breath, open my eyes, and she's not even there.

10 mins later she comes back in the house (after taking the dog out for morning 'duties'). "We have an issue that can make this +100 or -100, and it's all about a couple of very small things, will you listen to me". (frustratedly) "What do you want?", "well I was talking about breakfast but forget about that for now I'll find something myself, but I'm now talking about relationships and how to keep it simple in a way that we can both understand each other.  I thought about this and I know you think I think too much, but I'm okay with thinking a lot, as that is what I do to make money, protect what we have and to take care of us and I don't make that you're problem, it just happens without you having to think, but (pauses).... can you listen just for a few seconds please?". "What?", "If I say something and I ask you what the question is, and you don't know, then you're disrespecting me putting the dog ahead of me and so far as I know the dog doesn't pay the rent". "Here!" (slams down a tin of Quaker rolled oats".  I get up and check and yes it's 'yer actual'. "Yes, that's exactly what I was asking for 25 minutes ago, what do you do with them?"

....it went on but no resolution, no breakfast, no communication, none of the other kind of 'oats' either.  She's punishing me with her thoughtlessness and she's not happy feeling this way.  I can firewall this and feel nothing.  I've had to become good at that, because I know there's something she's not telling me about that is bothering her and I think I know what it is, and I'm waiting for her to communicate it with me (she doesn't have to worry about it if I'm right, and all could be golden in 1 minute flat), but Thai-Farang, Thinking-communication. Well....

That's why I don't rant about the truth of things too much on here.  The above is an example of why.  It'll just bore everyone.  Better to go on FaceBook and say:
"Hi, how are you?"
"Hi, everything's perfect, here are the best pictures we chose from our last holiday to show everyone how happy and successful we are" (while they cry themselves to sleep).

TL;DR:  Spidey, you know what you like, you lead your life, better to not defend yourself, not complain, not explain, just do what makes you and yours happy.  It isn't perfect but it's better than fighting moquitos with a spanner.

Have a nice Sunday. I'm off to shower, open my eyes proper, see if wifey wants to crack about what is bothering her, and if not I'm going to hang out at a farang friends place with other farangs by the pool and drink some afternoon beers, and I'll no longer be thinking about what 'she' feels.  Monday maybe there'll be toothpaste on the toothbrush again, which is a silent signal of everything okay (or that my breath stinks because I drank beer - the two are not entirely unrelated and I know that, but I'm waiting will a million litres of spare air supply until she has to spit it out of her mind).  Btw, anyone know how to write in Thai "Don't bring a gun to a Drone fight"?

7 minutes ago, 5633572526 said:

Men and women are not equal in Thailand 

I don't think they even want equality.  More that they want to do their role and you do yours (nurture induced to a fair degree I would imagine).  I do wonder what Germain Greer would think, and I don't wonder that I'd disagree with her.  But I'll call my opinion equal to hers anyhow.  Onto more palatable imagery, if she wants to be the matriarch of the family and you to be the bread winner, I'm completely content with that.  Some things from 50 years ago are better than today.

19 hours ago, Kinnock said:

Outdoors - most Thai girls, indoors, not mine .......

Mine too.  Outdoors 100% without fail, indoors she wants to feel relaxed.

I want her to feel relaxed too, more interesting than the telly, even if she's just doing the ironing ?

4 minutes ago, cyberfarang said:

Heavy drinkers both male and female come in several categories.

 

There are the merry drunks fun to be with on social nights out, there are the stupid drunks that can be embarrassing after having a few drinks and there are the aggressive drunks that when intoxicated want to fight everybody and then there are the randy drunks, people that after a few drinks feel as horny as hell.

 

Once worked with a 34 year old married woman, that when sober was totally prim and proper, but when drunk she transformed into a raving nymphomaniac. All my male work colleges used to aim for her at our staff parties. Of course these days men that have sex with intoxicated women can be charged with rape that includes Thailand and best avoided.

Okay, I think you put it better than me, but yeah, we're broadly on the same page.

2 hours ago, MadameM said:

Retrospectively...hmm...long time ago

So, it depends who's that woman!

I don't recall my mom asking money from my father because he left us since I was 2. There was no child support money or alimony in Thailand at that time. Mon would survive on her own. She turned a single parent raising me so well I would growing up never had any need to ask man for money. She succeeded!

 

When I was dating with my farang-husband- to be, we took turn paying bills. Even after we got married and I followed him to share our lives in the US, my mindset wasn't that I would depend completely on my husband. Never forget I came to the country with $1000.- cash and 2 suitcases. Being new in the new country with no job, I stayed home doing all the chores and he paid all the bills. I did have a need to earn my own money, though. I had to support my mom. This is very common in Thai culture. We take care our elderly as paying gratitude for their hard work raising us up. Experiencing all kinds of discrimination and unable to express myself clearly, I ignored all the person I used to be and how much I used to earn in Thailand and started climbing up the ladders from the bottom. Husband sent me to a community college, which he paid for -- I didn't ask for, to expose me to the language and new culture. I worked as a waitress in a Thai restaurant during the day and went to school at night. The money I earned was partly sent to my mom; the rest was my own allowance. We have one jointed bank account plus our own account. He still pays for the household bills and grocery, and sometimes he will hand me a check $2 or 3 hundreds or so as he pleases. I didn't regard those checks as a payment for my services. Marriage is sharing not serving. I am delightful when he puts a check in my hand -- sweet encounter!

 

So, again... it depends on who's the woman and how considerate the man is. Do you deem your woman as a human partner or an object to be paid for? The answer is yours. 

 

Oh! after over 20 years here, I'm proud to say I've climbed my ladders well and earned generous income and am the one paying the household and grocery bills.

Nice to hear.  I'm also amazed at how good your writing is, with Thai/English have a completely different mental wiring, whereas neighbouring countries it can be as easy as A=1, B=2 etc.  It's possible of course, but not often found in the common hours.  I have to bow my head there as my skill set needs English more than it needs Thai.

I tried several different financial approaches to support my GF (now wife).  I couldn't get it right because like many people, if she has money then that's her automatic budget to offload completely.  It's getting better and changing slowly to grasping the concept of "spend less than you earn", and keep some in reserve.

Wrt the family, I took on the role of taking care of family, and she takes care of me.  I just asked what she would normally send (which was modest and irregular) and added a decent addition to that and made it direct debit bank to bank (which was still fairly modest really, but comfortably more than they needed).  That worked very well and everyone was content.  Unfortunately most of the older generation have now passed on. Just her and one 'real' brother (and about 2000 relatives ? 

She has her own job and doesn't work for anyone else, which is enough for her to get by comfortably without me (I got rid of her debts and asked her to promise to never ever borrow money again), but I keep her topped up and gaining on the occasions where I have a windfall, and she also knows she has me for the unexpected larger bills like hospital (though I got insurance for us both so it's a moot point really for the most part).

She's my equal.  Better than me in some ways, not so much in other ways, but between us we are a team that clicks together pretty well.

Sounds like you found a good guy.  Not everyone is like that, and I'll call out my own country men when I say that (sadly).

I think there are many ways to answer this one.  Here's a couple:

1.  There is no equality, so anything measured by that will cause a mental tilt.

2.  About equality:  1 Kg of rice or 1Kg of Gold?  Equal in weight, so same and different at the same time - there are more facets than the question asks.

3.  Why do women and men tend to get together?  Sex is an obvious one.  Generally I have more male friends than wives (well not generally but absolutely only one wife, eek!), different leanings of skills could be another.  Women have more earning power in the oldest profession in the world.  Men are expected to provide compensation for that (ouch! that one;ll put the cat amongst the pigeons and hate mail incoming).

4.  If a woman has sex for child bearing reasons then it is a much larger commitment than the man is making, who could father 1000's of children.  That commitment commands compensation - often to the detriment of the man since the invention of money and lawyers.  

I could go on, but clearly the question needs reformulation.

8 minutes ago, DILLIGAD said:

I had that book too and lent it out to others, a few times too.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I had two copies (one here, one brought from UK).  Don't know where they are, but I'm guessing they went wherever lent money and odd socks go.

On 8/3/2018 at 1:09 PM, Kinnock said:

My knowledge of bras stops at the one-handed unclasp that all men have perfected by the age of 15. 

 

But I've now learned that if you don't put them in the washing machine in the special bag with a zip, then the hooks get caught on other clothing.  One of the many reasons I am now banned from approaching within 10 feet of the washer (an unfortunate incident with a dark blue cycling sock in a white wash being the other reason - an easy mistake, it was hiding in the machine before I loaded all of our white clothes - and anyway, I like blue shirts).

I haven't learnt that trick yet.  I think if a man designed bras then they'd be much easier to deal with.  Same applies to those cheap zips found on women's clothing, and also irons and ironing boards.  Who concluded they were optimally designed?  I still maintain that no make up and no clothes is the way to go (at least for her ...hack/chuckle).

Going by your blue sock example, there should probably also be a maxim about not mixing rags on rag week.  I've never tested it because the only time I've used a washing machine is when single.  If I have a girl then... well yeah, they clean themselves it seems (the clothes I mean).

On 8/5/2018 at 2:42 AM, Elkski said:

I think I can add some to a few chapters.  I think a modern book with modern tools is needed.  Those older books were written before dating sites matured and the line and FB.   Before these Thai gals networked so much.  I do think the book needs to start 2 months before wheels down. 

Agree.  "Thailand Fever" was the book I had.  It's accurate, but overly polite and patronising.  This was before online media really got going though, and internet cafes were how everyone got internet before they had it on their phones.

The thing with the above book is that after maybe 6 weeks, you've learnt everything in it the long way around anyhow.  The tricks that catch you out are the ones that didn't get included in the book.  It's still relevant today even if lacking current communication protocols, just don't get to thinking you can navigate the ship by reading the instruction manual.  There are far more variables, as we've all found.