Shiver

I've had this happen in both UK and Thailand.

UK (half a life time ago):  She felt sorry for her ex who begged and pleaded with her, and she thought he needed her more than me.  Sounds strange I'm sure, but in her mind she was sacrificing herself any which way up.  I last saw her a dozen or so years ago, she's my age, and she wasn't wearing life well with 3 sprogs and a picket fence.  I looked past her and said to her friend "I'm the one that got away that she keeps talking about".  Her face was a picture, and she asked me if I wanted 3 kids and it was a deal.  Lol, wish I could laugh about it then the way I can now.  Anyhow, the first I knew back  then was that she was uncontactable for several days before she finally took a deep breathe and told me the situation.

Fast forward, oh... 12 or 15 years?  By thus time I was living in Thailand, with a a girl for maybe 15 months I was smitten with.  She went "on a training course with AIA" for a week (I don't believe that was true at all looking back, but I was a trusting idiot).  Piecing it together after the event, her family told her to leave me as I had no money, and her mother had found a Singapore guy who "was rich".  She never cared for him so much, he was okay, but it was her duty to get some land, a car and a baby for the family, and she said "if it doesn't work out then, oh well".

Minus 1 girl, +1 successful career later, stayed alone for 2.5 years, tried many many different kinds of strange fruit (I call them my Captain Kirk days ?  Met my wife and been monogamous ever since.

Yeah it hurts when they do that, proper body blow that feels as breathless and empty-hollow-winded as anyone could imagine.  The hard part is when you don't get closure, so you're not able to answer all those questions and move on, otherwise you'd just heal as nature intends.  Thais I've noticed seem to do it a lot (UK girl took 3 days to fess up), Thai girl allegedly said "I want him to find out by himself" (and to this day has never official told me to foff), which to me means "I don't want to lose face so if I don't see it then it never happened" or some such BS.  She wasn't a bad person, just left a little wanting in character as it turned out.

Hope you can get your answers quickly and get back to normal life soon, otherwise it can plague you for years (yes I mean years - there's one other event which showed me that which I haven't documented).  If someone dies you can miss them forever more, but at least you know,  However, if you don't know if they're alive or dead then life get's a bit of 'stiction' and it's hard to make progress.

Btw, I've never had a GF in a country where I wasn't living there full time.  Unconscionable,

I can tell you what my missus did this week.  She picked up a broken laptop I have (turns out that video chip had died, apparently), said "you want this?", I said "if you can get it fixed you can have it".  Nothing more was said until yesterday. "2500 baht, is that okay?".  I said "better than a new price, and it'll do what you want for sure"......there was a pause.....so I added "you do have the money don't you?  please tell me this is not a big deal for you".  She hugged/kissed/laughed as if to pretend she wasn't trying it on and was just joking. 

She paid.

(Ah...the things I have to do to encourage fiscal responsibility).

Anyhow, it cost her 2800 baht in total - because she wanted Thai on the keyboard and had to buy some stickers (apparently it's not a universal language).  Better than 10-15K though, except now I'm a computer engineer again.  I thought I'd retired years ago.  "This is how to open a browser.  This is what you type to get Facebook....no no darling, facebook is not for the Thai language" etc.

I'm sure there must be loads of farang with a broken laptop that just don't have the energy/strength/patience/tolerance to try to negotiate the task and just buy another one.  Maybe that's an option for OP to explore.

17 hours ago, ravip said:

If you are not in to 'heavy' computing i7 is not really necessary.

True, though there are also increasing numbers of people who value 3 weeks of their time as more valuable than drive price difference if they're, say, rebuilding the BTC blockchain from scratch...again... because their HDD failed (just one task I had to do, and figured out it was nothing to do with processor speed or amount of memory, internet speed etc).

For spreadsheets and web browsing almost anything will do (except those curs-ed Rasberry Pi things  Just need two more then I can raise the desk height).

5 hours ago, Dario said:

Where?

In the twinned city of Shanxii China, aka copy town.

On 8/1/2018 at 2:50 PM, 55Jay said:

My wife considers it magic when, every month, new money shows up in the bank account.  Finally convinced her it's not magic, rather, it comes from the tree I planted out back.  She nodded her head in agreement and said, "Oh, Ok, that makes cents". ?

Aurthur C. Clarke's 3rd law: "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic"

When you understand the magic trick it still amuses, but instead from the point or a parent rather than the child.

Ask her what the acronym "ATM" is.  The answer I got was "All The Money".  Well she laughed at least.  I was perturbed.

19 hours ago, 0815 said:

Ouch !
I had an Akha girlfriend some years ago and remember the foul tricks of the western priests to give a "choice" very well...

Where there is power/influence, corruption never seems to be far behind.

I don't have a religion.  I have beliefs, but they change so fast I'd never be able to write a book about them before they were redundant, and even if I did people would abuse my 'good book' for their own purposes anyhow.  Better just to do your own homework and know your friends, and keep your enemies far from you to avoid conflict if it is not necessary.

16 minutes ago, vogie said:

Apparently only 1% of Asia is RH- and Thais only 0.3%.

I am O- but the cut off point over here is 55 years old I believe, at 67 I am certainly too old.

Here is the chart of blood groups.

 

 

That's the chart I was thinking of.  So it's O- that is universal, and also easily resolved in other parts of the world (maybe farangs should have a donor drive to balance this).

If I was dying through lack of blood, I wouldn't refuse because the donor is over 55 for chrst sake!  You can always do a Soros and get the blood of a poor 16 year old virgin from some far away place after you survive (there is something to back up 'young' blood versus old, but staying alive is much more important).  I couldn't get what I needed anywhere in Thailand so couldn't get the operation I needed, so had to do it natures way and am still healing the long way around).  I'm 49 so maybe I should clean my act up and donate some for a year or two.  Never know who you're going to help.  Look's like my version will help any of the 'A' group.  That's very rare here, but not so much in other parts of the world, so likely it would only be useful to farangs here I suspect.  Not going to make it to top of the list, us being an expendable and all that.

6 hours ago, guzzi850m2 said:

I7 is not nesseary unless you are heavily into video editing and the latest fastest games.

My new i5 8th gen flies and are okay for photo editing, not a gamer.

Get min Full HD or you will likely regret it.

I also bought mine from Amazon, don't want a Thai/English mixed keyboard.

For desktop, first thing I do is throw away the keyboard and buy a 'clickety' keyboard.  Same for laptop when at home.  They work like a champ if you can type, and are surprisingly inexpensive.  These days you find them as gamer keyboards and lots to choose from (Bye bye my beloved IBM 1992 series 'new' when bought keyboard...I'll miss you the most - lasted more than 20 years for $20).  They've become cool these days so price reflects that.

Agree re display resolution, easily missed if a casual user.  Not a show stopper, but worth paying attention to, whatever the brand you finally go for.

I'm the wrong type as well A RH-, and they'd probably refuse because it's full of alcohol this morning after an unplanned reunion last night.

There is one of the 'O''s though that I think is considered universal.  I couldn't get it when needed, but afterwards did the usual fact finding and there are charts to show what does and does not work.

80% or so of Thais have the same blood group, so anything else is considered odd.  They'll likely pump him up with FFP (fresh frozen plasma) in the meantime until they can find a donor, but I don't think it'll be that hard.

Good luck to the person whoever he is, but I'm sure this will be resolved locally without having to fly people or fluid in.

Sounds a bit cold I know,  but "accountants health care" is.  I'm confident he'll get a good result anyhow being a non rare blood type.

3 hours ago, marko kok prong said:

Shiver few other tips,i liked your post my wife is much the same,yes i pay her a monthly allowance but she has handled everything from the land office,ampur,water and electric boards,helps me at immigration,and as you say we are both there for each other.

Re the house,get a tiled roof high pitch,sisalation a must under the tiles,insulation on the ceiling,plastered ceiling,not those tile things, my ceiling are about 3.5 metre's high,main living room is 6 metre ceiling,try to align sliding doors windows opposite each other to get a through breeze,just a few thoughts.

Much appreciated.  I'll bear those in mind, especially the door and window alignment.  I was planning a kind of venturi effect to do something similar, but depending on the land it might not be appropriate.  High ceilings I like too.  Maybe put the bedrooms downstairs if it's big enough, a bit like an atrium.  

3 hours ago, marko kok prong said:

Shiver take it from me use Theramlite bricks they call then q core for the house the difference is amazing,i used them on all external wall's of my house.I don't envy you on the list of stressfull situations,building a house here has got to be top,to date i reckon i have spent 5 million baht,big house with a swimming pool,by the time it is furnished and the garden done it will be around 6 mil,but put it this way a fraction of the cost of building the same house in a western country of this standard.Also you have to constantly check the build,i actually own a smaller house opposite,so i watched them like a hawk,it drove me to the edge of insanity,but thank God the end is now in sight,only the wall and garden left.

I have one friend that is *still* building (or getting done for him) a house, and he's really pedantic about doing things the right way.  It has cost him enormous stress and recommends against doing what he did.  It's still the average house at the end of the day, and I am sure that there'll come a point where he gets rid of them and does it himself, but he still has to work, so one costs the other.  There are so many interesting materials out there, but I shudder at the logistics and tax implications.

Brick is fine (especially thermally useful).  I'd like double skin, but I'm told that can have all kinds of nasties living in there if you don't seal it well, and I would have thought you have to let it breathe somewhere.  I have a local friend that has designed all his own, got a crew that (finally) he can rely on as much as can be expected here, and is hands on.  They're all done well, but with local materials.

While nobody wants to pay more than they have to, I'm not particularly cash sensitive, and if I'm going to live there, I want the environment to be something I'm not picking at all the time.  For sure once it's done I'll be wishing I'd done this and that differently, but then that I guess is how we learn.  It doesn't *have* to be the last build.

I'm not sure about the resolution on the model you've chosen, depends what you're using it for.

These days I just go to the website for InvadeIT (in BKK).  Never compared prices, but their service is excellent, and they'll assign an English speaker if you're writing or calling in English (can't say what the case is for other languages).

I've had Asus recommended to me, had a Dell, both both desktops, and both failed after a couple of years.

Currently using a Lenovo laptop with 200Gb SSD  which is sweet as... and a Dell 'all in one' desktop 1TB HDD at the moment and they're both good, except....why do all manufacturers have so few USB ports?  They're under powered power supplies too if you're using external devices that draw power from USB.  You don't have to tolerate that with a separate box for the computer, you can put 1Kw+ in there if you like.

I've recently ordered a small touch screen laptop (Dell) for our bricks and mortar business.  It's 15.5" so that also doesn't fit your spec, but it was only 15K baht, so I think you're in the ball park with your pricing for a basic laptop.  Again, depends what you want it for.  If just email and basic web browsing then it would be hard to pick a bad one.

I wanted to transfer several millions one time from BKK Bank to a differently named bank.  I thought my limit was 500K per day so went to the branch.  They said they can only do 135K per transaction, and there would be a fee for each one that  stacks up when you're getting into larger amounts.  I asked "Can I withdraw in cash?", they said "Yes", "What does that cost?", "Free".

Not smart carrying that kind of cash around in shopping malls and streets, but I went to destination and thankfully without event.

Tough one to administer.  If they're not gainfully employed then they're not taking jobs, so no work permit required.  On the other hand, if your volunteer efforts are cleaning the beaches or something and you do it of your own volition, then a charity is not appropriate either.

Maybe if they can prove that they don't have income from within Thailand where money is brought from outside of Thailand (only really works in a cashless society I guess), then I see no reason why they should be denied a visa.

As we've seen, foreigners from various parts of the world often have a different skill set and effective ways of solving problems.  That's notionally an asset to the country (okay that needs qualifying).

No easy way around it as I see it if they insist on this form of administration.  I had issues with a visa for different reasons (I didn't qualify for any of them), so I had to dump 500K for 5 years equivalent of visa 'freedom' to make the problem go away.  If they had a pop at me for picking up litter I'd be seriously miffed.

My girl handles pretty much everything household, and is also my taxi on demand, or any task that is a 2 minute job for her and a headache for me.  She's low maintenance, and doesn't smother me, but is always near by at a moments notice (except on Buddha days, her business delivery days, or village funerals etc).  Exactly the way I like most.  She says "Can I go BBQ with my friends to XYZ?", I say "You have more than enough money still don't you, I don't control you, you don't need to ask permission from anyone".  So long as we both tag team periodically to update and adjust plans then we make a good team.  It's almost sounds like a business arrangement doesn't it?  I suppose it is, but with other benefits of each of us having someone looking out for the best interests of the other.  My only job is to make sure financed are available, which does take a lot of time and study to build, but I enjoy that so no drama. 

She's not a particularly big spender, but still has a couple of items on her bucket list.  House being one.  The issue there is not "Thai wants free house then fob me off", it's that she's content with the typical single skin concrete baking oven with all the usual quality issues that really rag me.  I want something pretty special and am prepared to pay for it, but I don't see it.  Some are something like, but at about 3x what I could get it done for with my own friends and hired crew, even if I had to fly them there, tool up, buy  a truck on site, and take care of all their living expenses plus salary.  My girl wants a 'walk in' ready to go and has the bar set very modest.  I guess if everything was perfect you wouldn't realise what you've got.

Assuming everything was sterile (doesn't look like it), likely the oil will just reabsorb over time and it will appear lumpy, deformed or soft, since it would only be under the skin.  Increasing the corpus cav' is no easy task.

Anyhow, if this really did work, then Synthol would probably be a better candidate than olive oil (or better yet, his own body fat).  I feel bad for the kid even if there are no horrific complications.  He's going to be mentally scarred if not physically, and getting peer pressure and porn unrealistic ideals... and an adult that takes money for feeding that is just plain nasty.

Wouldn't surprise me if we learn in a few years that the kid when older gets the machete and takes it to make a Bobbitt out of the adult that did it.

There's no unemployment here, because of things like teachers being guarantor for loans to students to fund their purpose as a teacher.

Why doesn't the loan company just give it away direct, cut out the students, and let them educate themselves rather than pay for schooling from someone that doesn't understand how to make a ">0" contribution to society themselves.

If they kept money out of the equation and had knowledge to impart, they would get by just fine from 'appreciation gifts' of food and shelter.

This is not just Thailand, but a very significant proportion of the planet.  Many variants of the same issue.

We've got it easy - cost-less or near to cost-less communication, and the opportunity to do business online if so inclined.  Doesn't have to be a bricks and mortar operation.  Couldn't say that 20 years ago.

7 hours ago, jvs said:

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Take the test,cut it very short and see how people react,then decide where to spend your money.

 

 

Excellent point.  If not completely comfortable with the idea then perhaps go #4, then #3, #2, #1 and maybe even shave.  The people you are with will get used to it.

I wish someone had told me that at the time.

33 minutes ago, Batty said:

 

So your calling me a cock.  Thanks.

 

You are analyzing with cliches and sound like an student physiologist and I dont mean to be rude in suggesting that error as many people do the same.  But I must be honest and say Its such a boring, well trodden reasoning to suggest "there is another guy, running from his problems, head buried in sand, scared to go home".  Christ mate its so dull and predictable and its almost always the first port of call when two chaps on a bar stool (or concrete table outside a maa paa shop) are blasting a fellow ex pat.  This guy has issues.  Clearly here to escape something.

 

Some of us just stumbled here through, I admit, absolute ignorance at worst and lack of planning at best.  I am here after 15 years because... it just happened.  Cant that be a reason?  Must I be a social misfit who didn't fair well back home with people?  Or a fat stinking mess with zero charm, unable to chat up the birds back home and bailed to Thailand heading straight to the go go bars?  Make sure to wai the mamasan on your way in you know, respect local culture.  Then see how many fingers you can get up number 32.  Go on lad.

 

I had a pretty good life back home, quite eventful and dam good fun.  I had a mobile phone dealership selling contract phones on-line from 2001 through 2003 and in July of that year the business imploded for reasons out of my control.  I walked away with 30 grand, a rented house (no ties) no kids, and a car.  I thought sod it, I am 30, lets do a bit of traveling, spend 20 of the 30 grand I have and then come back and start another business.  I needed a break.  America sounds fun and I had visited a few times as a kid.  And with very little planning I decided on flying to Los Angeles and starting there.  Only I didn't.  During my final customer credit check with Orange on the phone (cell/mobile phone company in UK) I got chatting to the agent about moving to America.  He had just come back from Thailand, and told me about the way of life there, the cheap villas on the beach you can rent.  Fried rice and chicken with a beer for a pound.  Friendly locals. The beautiful women who love westerners.  Amazing islands and adventurous mountain destinations. And all around it, you have these mad countries to explore like Vietnam, Loas, Malaysia, Singapore, Hong Kong. I randomly searched 'house for rent in Thailand' and this amazing 3 bed house popped up, surrounded by coconut trees, 5 minutes from a beach. 300 pounds a month.  I had spent that much the night before on a bender in London, I remember thinking.  300 pounds!  For a villa!  On an island!

 

I remember sitting on expedia website with two browser windows open, one for a L.A flight and one for flight to Koh Samui, undecided.  Eventually I chose koh Samui, booked a flight, put my furniture, car and electrical stuff in a lock up on a 6 month contract and buggered off to Thailand, telling my pals and family I would see them at the end of the year.  Everyone was surprised I was doing it, but pleased for me.  It was In hindsight looking back, totally random, deciding to travel.  I suspect if I had put more thought into it I would have stayed back home.

 

They call it chaos theory, dont they?  How a single small event can change the course of humanity?  I ponder that from time to time.  The Orange call center had 500 agents.  If I hadn't spoke to that one particular guy, at that very time, i would have never traveled to Thailand.  I wasn't even sure where it was to be honest.

 

I had so much fun in koh Samui, 6 months turned into 2 years but I burnt out.  I had spent a lot of time on the beer and partying I needed to move on.  So I went to Bangkok for a year and did even more partying.  How does that make sense?  Burn out in Koh Samui, so move to Bangkok?  I have no idea what I was thinking in that decision. So, even more burnt out after a year living just off Soi 4 and now at 33, I decided to move to kanchanaburi where it is green, lush, laid back, and cute.  A perfect place to slow down a bit.  I stayed there for 5 years and played golf in the day, and set up an on line business that I worked on at night, which did very well.  During no point in this first 8 years did I ever think 'ok, what am I doing?' Is this my life now?'.  Family and friends always pestered me about coming home.  What are you doing out there?  Why are you still there? But I never had an answer.  Its honestly something I never thought about.  I took everything day by day and just figured one day I will go home, when I feel like it.

 

More years went past and eventually I met a great girl, moved North and got married, brought a house and settled down.  My dad died 3 years ago and during that time I went home 3 or 4 times a year while he was sick and it was at this point that I woke up a little a realized that I had pretty much abandoned my country and suddenly missed it.  I would land at Heathrow and there would always be 2 or 3 friends waiting for me, before we headed off to the pub to meet more friends and have a great night.  I would spend the days visiting my Dad and family and aimlessly driving around the countryside, remembering how nice it is back there, wondering why I abandoned it, and the nights in the pub with mates having a great laugh.  It just suddenly happened over those 2 or 3 years of visiting the UK - I became uber home sick - and every time I returned to Thailand I felt bummed out to be back.

 

I guess I just stumbled here through blind chance, failed to plan, and woke up 15 years later thinking bugger, I am still here?  I own a house and stuff?

 

I built an amazing on-line business through my time here and now it is over, I regret squandering the money I made from it.  I could have saved easily enough to buy a bloody huge house back home but I didn't.  I was an idiot. Business class flights everywhere, hotels always had to be Hiltons, Sheratons, Mariots.  Wardrobe after wardrobe of expensive clothes. Bikes, cars.  All the trappings. I had friends in Miami and over a 4 year period I would fly there, business class, three times a year for 3 weeks each visit, blowing money. I look back on all that now and think I guess I wasn't truly happy here and filled a void with crap that I didn't need.  I got jaded with the bar scene years ago, got fed up with golf and for a good few years didn't do very much here: just a quiet life with lavish holidays back home, Miami, Caribbean, and all over S.E.Asia mixed in.  I should have been honest with myself at the time and admitted I wasn't truly happy in Thailand, time to go home.  But for some reason I just figured everything would work itself out and plodded on, with no plan, spending money.  And when you have money, it is easy to use it to fudge over problems.  And for that reason, I wouldn't blame you for calling me a cock.  It was foolish and short sighted and now the business is over and I am making a modest living, I feel stupid.  For a bright guy, I made a dumb mistake of winging it in life with zero plan.  So fair enough - call me a cock for that, because I am.

 

But I am most definitely not a cock in the way you might imply.  I am not a social misfit, I can easily sit in a bar full of strangers and tell a few stories, get everyone laughing.  I do have some measure of charm, unlike some of the morons you meet sometimes here whose soul level of concern lies with the cost of Chang going up at Dream Girl bar, baked beans in Macro being too saucy, and how Davids wife is cheating on him with a Thai guy.  I just made the mistake of taking everything for granted, failing to plan: and now i miss home, dont realy want to live here anymore, but cant just 'go back' and sofa surf with my wife who I adore, watching her suffer with the same feelings I have now in being home sick for her country and family/friends.  If I had a good few hundred grand in the bank I would buy a house back there and spend the summers there with her.  Or leave her here and get my fix of England for 3 months a year.  Either of those scenarios would be fine for me and I would enjoy the other 9 months in Thailand quite happily.  Maybe one day it will happen, I do have a track record of getting back on top financially when chips are down so maybe I will make something else work and get the money together in a few years.  Or maybe crypto currency will go up ten fold and I can cash in and do it that way.  

 

But for the time being, here I am.  Just a bloke who didn't plan and stumbled here, for a long time.  Its not a bad life, dont get me wrong - I own a house, a couple of nice cars and bikes, owe no money to anyone and have potential to make a living.  I just feel a bit bored and lost here these days. It suddenly feels arbitrary, my living here.  I feel silly for not predicting this years ago, and stupid for not being wiser with my money. 

 

Feel free anyone to analyze all this but let me be clear - you can jazz this up however you like but I am telling you now, there is no underlying reason for 'bailing' on the UK.  It just happened.

 

 

I didn't call you or anyone a cock.  I was quoting a previous post.  It's not my way to address anyone like that.

Few hundred K in the bank....  I would never do that again.  It's not maintaining it's purchasing power, it's not in your hands (it's not yours), and they're not insured for when the S hit's the Fan.  Crypto?  It's one of the things I did (and do), but I also see a lot of people getting 'rekt' in doing so.  Being your own bank comes with responsibilities.  If you can "keep your head when all about you are losing theirs" then you've got a gift not available to almost any generation before us. 

3 hours ago, Thailand said:

And mom & pop stores will also comply with the ban.

Where it says "banned at department stores, convenience stores and entertainment venues" does that mean that Mom & Pop stores aren't illegal if they are low key as usual, and that it's only the larger places that they enforce the ban?

Put another way, are they okay with village life having regular sales, and that it's not illegal, rather than just too difficult to enforce?

On regular days, city Mom & Pop stores near me put a hefty fee on cans compared to bottles, but out at the village they make maybe 1/2 baht or 1 baht, and free ice, and even deliver it on a bike if they don't have enough stock, and will not take a gift for their added service.  I feel bad, that I don't think they can afford to close, although I don't want to break or encourage anyone else to break the law when I could plan prior if it is necessary to do so, but if it's okay then I'll just call in on the way to a friends and not complicate things.

Views/Opinions?

7 hours ago, utalkin2me said:

Another example of how the people who have reached the pinnacle of American Society behave. 

 

i'll tell you what, walk into one of these million dollar country clubs and let me know how many quality people you meet inside. The dregs run our society, we just fail to admit it for some reason. 

Whooah.... easy.  I,you, he/she/it,we,you, they.... can all choose to be kings of our own empire, and still walk comfortably with the common man (since we are they).  The 'salt of the earth' people (if I read you correctly) would not give a flying f-thing about your bank balance, they just wouldn't notice, but they'll sense bs when it's around them.  Leave those 'perfect masters' to play with themselves.

We don't have to 'settle' for anything, we can raise the bar.  Universe might leave you out in the cold for a while, but it's perfectly happy to provide whatever you have conviction about.  A snap of the fingers and the whole thing flips like a crystaline NiTinol object, and ...so it is.

Auspicious daze, no Meth, Yaba, Cocaine etc?

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