custody issue regarding wife's daughter

[vanbobble]

Hi all.. I am trying to get my head around a bit of a problem and wonder if anyone has any knowledge regarding this type of thing.

My wife Pam has a 14 year old daughter, who since she was 2 or 3 years old has lived with her ex partners family (thai). Pam and her former partner were both working in Rayong, they split up she went home to Surin and took her daughter, he went home to Sattahip. A few weeks later she received some sort of court papers.. I believe some legal advice (possibly) was taken and an agreement was reached and possibly settled in court (or similar) or via some type of formal mediation, that the daughter would live with her father who would be financially responsible for her, including schooling etc.. and her daughter would be able to go and stay with Pam and her family during school holidays. 

The father has a new girlfriend and additional children and is now reluctant to pay for Pam's daughters schooling - I think was planning on going to some language school in Chonburi.

Pam thinks that he would be in breach of the terms of the agreement entered into at the time and wants to explore whether she can get her daughter to now be able to live with her family in Surin (where apparently there are many schools she would be happy at..!)

Of course, worst case scenario we could just pay for the schooling, but the wife thinks this would be unfair. 

I have explained that given Pam is currently here in England with me (we usually go back to Thailand in April for her daughters school holidays) that she may want to get her sister and mum to try and find out what the options are before going back.

Not had much experience with lawyers etc in Thailand - does anyone have any advice on where to start or the hopes of anything succeeding? Apparently the family does have the papers from the original mediation/agreement.

Many thanks 

Vb

[FritsSikkink]

I think your wife has some nerve. The kid lived almost all her live with a family who have been paying for everything too. Now she wants to take her away not to take care of her but let someone else take care of her again. If she can't be bothered to take care of her kid the least she has to do is pay for the school. 

Edited November 28, 2017 by FritsSikkink

[cooked]

 I have been through all this, fighting to retain custody. 

If you or your wife care at all for the child then the age of 14 isn't a good age to put her through grief. If she doesn't get a decent education she will be resentful and you may lose her. Surin?  Many people don't even speak Thai over there. She needs stability at this stage of her life. 

It is with with great difficulty that I put my step-grandchild and step- great grandchild through school and  I think you should be doing the same thing for your step daughter. The other possibility of course,, would be to take her to the UK if she wants to learn English. 

I completely understand a father that has taken on a new family being unwilling to pay an expensive language school in addition, and I think a court would agree unless he is rich. The 'step mother syndrome' may well be playing a role. 

Anyway, none of my business.

Unless you are actually in Thailand, doing something about this will take years, our case took about four months. My wife and her daughter had to be present at each court hearing to sign documents.

We went to the local family court, found a lawyer and just did, and paid, everything that he told us to do.

I don't think you'll get out of paying for her language school if it is decided that that's what she should do.

 

 

[vanbobble]

I think I perhaps gave the wrong impression when stating my wife thinks it would be unfair to pay for the schooling, she would be more than willing to pay. What upsets her is that she had to make a very difficult choice when her daughter was 2 years old to keep her daughter and be solely financially responsible (something her and her family could not afford at the time) or to just be able to see her during her school holidays (with the father being financially responsible) and she now thinks the father is not keeping up his end of the bargain. Unfortunately now and for the last few years at least the daughter would have been much better cared for living with my wifes family, circumstances changed.

 

Anyways.. thanks for the comments 'cooked' will bear all that in mind. I hope an amicable resolution can be found.

Edited November 28, 2017 by vanbobble

[vanbobble]

6 hours ago, FritsSikkink said:

I think your wife has some nerve. The kid lived almost all her live with a family who have been paying for everything too. Now she wants to take her away not to take care of her but let someone else take care of her again. If she can't be bothered to take care of her kid the least she has to do is pay for the school. 

I did not ask for your opinion of my wife, who you do not know. I did not ask for your negative and incorrect summary of my post. I asked if anyone has any knowledge of the custody issue, which apparently you don't have. I really hope that some of your 4980 posts are a bit more informative / nicer than the one above.

[FritsSikkink]

4 hours ago, vanbobble said:

I did not ask for your opinion of my wife, who you do not know. I did not ask for your negative and incorrect summary of my post. I asked if anyone has any knowledge of the custody issue, which apparently you don't have. I really hope that some of your 4980 posts are a bit more informative / nicer than the one above.

Just do the right thing for the kid.

[GLewis]

On 11/28/2017 at 12:58 AM, vanbobble said:

I have explained that given Pam is currently here in England with me (we usually go back to Thailand in April for her daughters school holidays) that she may want to get her sister and mum to try and find out what the options are before going back.

 So she has been with you since April?  If so school started back ages ago, then there has been an October break. Schools have been back in session for another  month now.

[Gillyflower]

1 hour ago, GLewis said:

 So she has been with you since April?  If so school started back ages ago, then there has been an October break. Schools have been back in session for another  month now.

Can't you understand what you read?  Pam is his wife and they go /come to Thailand in April to be with the child during her holidays.  Then they go home (England), where I presume they live.

 

 To Vanbobble.    What would the child like to do?  Does she want to live with her mother and yourself in England?  If she does then will the father let her go?  If she wants to stay with Dad, then your wife should pay for the rest of her education.  Of course I understand that presumably she can stay with Pam's family in Surin.  You haven't said anything about the girl's wishes.

[GLewis]

4 minutes ago, Gillyflower said:

Can't you understand what you read?  Pam is his wife and they go /come to Thailand in April to be with the child during her holidays

hoping I was wrong what he was on about.  I see it as the new husband and mother who left her child have little to say about what is going on.. I just hope it works out well for the daughter.