When your partner picks your nose and you find that not strange.

When you answer the phone saying 10 times: Hellooooo.

When your number one excuse is to say: This is Thai culture.

When your partner and you are eating som tam and your partner tells: Phet maak and you say: Mai phet.

when yer on the throne butt naked an' yer gorgeous 13 y.o. stepdaughter in school uniform strolls up to say 'tutsi, I need 20baht to take to school...'...tutsi, without blinking 'go look inna drawer where the small money is...'

You use your cell phone while you drive your motorcycle on the sidewalk or along the white line between cars and trucks which may or may not be moving.

You see nothing wrong with standing on a white stripe in the middle of a highway while cars whiz past you at 90 kph.

You don't slow down when you see someone standing in the middle of the highway.

You've learned that jaywalking is safer than crossing where the striped lines indicate you should cross the road.

You carry a supply of TP with you everywhere you go.

You know how to use a squatter.

You know what a squatter is.

You think squatters are great because no one can piss on the seat.

You no longer use articles when you speak.

When you stop in front of a shop, people offer you a stool to sit on and a cigarette.

You stop thinking about the big bloodstain on the wall.

Everyone assumes that if you know one word of Thai, you know them all.

You speak really slowly and enunciate when you're speaking English.

You begin to question your own pronunciation.

You call home and your family tells you to speak faster and to stop correcting their grammar and pronunciation.

You call home and can't understand what anyone is saying because they have an accent and they talk too fast.

Only five minutes of prep time for an unannounced class no longer fazes you.

You have 10 different responses to the question, "Do you like Thailand?"

You know 10 different ways to point out a foreigner in Thai.

You point out foreigners to your Thai friends even though you're foreign yourself.

If someone's waiting for an elevator when you walk up to it, you pound on the button 10 or 20 times anyway because you know that makes it arrive faster.

You stand on escalators.

Every village is different from the rest of Thailand but all foreigners are the same.

You feel cold when the temperature drops to around 20 degrees.

You cancel UBC because you find Thai soaps and dramas more interesting.

Or when going back to England starts looking attractive.

you run red lights and don't even bother to drive on the shoulder

you expect that no matter what is broken and no matter what shop you bring it in to be repaired, it will take 3 times longer than they said, and you know it will come back still needing to be fixed again

you are excited to get your "Time" magazine every week

When going to Tesco is a fun outing

When you know the Tesco by heart, and you have a prefered parking space close to the doors

when relatives call from back home and tell you about events happening in the world

when relatives call from back home and tell you about events happening in Thailand

Or you start liking Thai music

When you are no longer suprised that the bar or shop owner can not change the equivelent of 10 euros.

when you seriusly hope, that the next coup is comming from the English teachers

When the King grants you a Royal Pardon...

When you forego the bars for a Thai soap.

You know you've been in Thailand too long when:

• You can go for weeks without toilet paper
  
• The footprints on the toilet seat are your own
  
• It's perfectly acceptable to drive on the wrong side of the street
  
• You decline to weara motorbyke helmet because it will mess up your hair
  
• You have a pinky fingernail an inch long
  
• It is no longer surprising that the only decision made at meeting time is the venue of the next meeeting
  
• You no longer wonder how a civil servant earning 400US$ a month can afford to drive a Mercedes
  
• It's exciting to see if you can get into the elevator before anyone else can get out
  
• "Sexpats", "Pirates", "Yellow Fever" and "Rice Queens" are part of your vocabulary
  
• It's just part of the adventure when the waiter correctly repeats your order and the cook makes you something completely different
  
• When shopping at the supermarket, a farang stares you downwhen he catches you looking into his basket while you wonder to yourself what farangs eat
  
• You are not surprised when three men show up to chane a lightbulb.
  
• You are careful to cover your mouth when picking your teeth, but openly pick your nose at the dinner table.
  

u plagiarize dude

old shit

get real

cheers

When you become supermoderator in this forum.

When you're sitting outside in the evening, oblivious to the mosquitoes, enjoying the heavenly, lilting sounds of Thai karaoke floating on the balmy evening air.

you go to an Italian restaurant and order you Penne Pasta (phet phet)

you can negotiate broken footpaths in stiletto heels, moving with total nonchalence

you NEVER put your fork in your mouth

you go back to visit your family in Queensland, Australia, and append all your sentences with "Kha" instead of "but"

When you take pride in the new airport.

when you read this post and find nothing remotely unusual in any of the quips

when you read this post and find nothing remotely unusual in any of the quips

And the beefs

when you read this post and find nothing remotely unusual in any of the quips

IMHO the best response yet, but it is rational so does this statement qualify for inclussion in this post?

I've been here way too long...

I'm already tired of this thread...

Somebody close this please!

The glass is not half empty

The glass is not half full

The glass is too dmn big

And the surest sign that you've been in Thailand too long is if you don't care that the Colts just beat the Bears and won the Lombardi Trophy baby! Woooo!!!

Michael

P.S. See that cat on the left. She watched every NFL game that I do. She's the couch potato. I have to stand in front of the TV because "this couch ain't big enough for the two of us." She, like me, is a Panther fan.

...you're eagerly awaiting for the latest post in the 'concerns about christian missionaries' thread

...you're eagerly awaiting for the latest post in the 'concerns about christian missionaries' thread

No no, that's a sign I should pay my gardener to "take you out."

Michael

...you're eagerly awaiting for the latest post in the 'concerns about christian missionaries' thread

No no, that's a sign I should pay my gardener to "take you out."

Michael

pls.. pls.. i'll pay him to 'take me out' if it just saves me from reading another one of those idiotic posts...

Um, this particular type of consulting isn't in the corporate mission statement.

The very worst and saddest thing is that this was a dead thread until I posted to it a coupla days ago. Oh I'm so ashamed.

When you hope Thailand wins the friendly footbal match against your home country.

When you're harvesting coconuts without a second thought...

when your best friend dies, and he is Thai.

When you accept death.

When someone asks you what you're doing this weekend and you reply, "Sleeping."

You know its been too long when you start "Fleeing the Scene" instead of dealing with the problem..