Truth In Marriage

[terry57]

i am under the opinion that when a man decide's to take a wife one of the fundamental requirements is that you can expect your wife to be honest with you.

and she expects you to be honest with her.

If there is lying going on the marriage is doomed to failure.

How many men would actually tell their wife about the massage parlour they visited? When you say total honesty, it means from the man AND the woman

got know problem there mate, as when im with a women, i dont shag other women and dont tell bad boy big lies.

keeps my head strait.

[terry57]

Bladdy Priceless Terry.

I'm rolling around my office trying not to wet myself laughing.

What's honesty when reality is such a challenge....

Irony lives!

hello guesthouse,

im glad i made your day mate, as it must feel real good to have a top laugh for the first time in your life.

ive got some real bad news for you guesthouse, but me and you have to be top friends again , as if you keep picking on me the mods are going to kick your arse into outerspace.

anyway guesthouse,

ive come to like you , not in a sexual way but in a wierd sort of way.

cheers me best new/old mate.

[Boo]

IMO it depends on the dynamics of the relationship but between most partners in a "normal" equally balanced relationship then as another poster said, little white lies, like no, your bum doesn't look big in that, keep a stable marriage stable.

Big lies, deceit, cheating, sneaking around & conspiring against your husband or wife are completely unacceptable. BUT there will always be some who excuse blatent dishonesty from their thai wife/husband as being a "thai thing". IMO Thai people are no different in knowing the difference between right & wrong as anyone else. If you want to fool yourself into beleiving that they lied for face or some other cultural clap trap then fine, but in your heart you must know it is bull.

But for me & many others, we would rather be alone than with someone we knew was taking the piss out of us. Depends IMO on where your self respect levels are at

[terry57]

a famous and wise man once said:

" the truth will set you free but lies will tie you up."

gets me in trouble sometimes telling the truth but im big enough to handle the fall out.

there's always the other angle and it goes like this,

tell someone the truth and you can remember the facts many years into the future.

tell someone a lie and you'll forget your storyline 12 months down the track.

ive told many stories on this forum and i could spit each one out over and over again as they have been fact.

[tutsiwarrior]

yeah...lying and withholding the truth are different critters...the former is deliberate and deceitful, the latter an attempt to not cause problems that otherwise could be avoided...

white girls get into this business as well...it ain't just an asian thing...

[Jet Gorgon]

im a travelling man.

You said it all right there, Terry, honey.

Love ya as a big sis to a baby bro. Ya find real love in unexpected places. Do sumpin else and the real thing'll come yer way. Honesty, too. Now, let's get this hog on the truck to the market, boy.

[Boo]

white girls get into this business as well...it ain't just an asian thing...

and so do white boys too. Thats the point isn't it. There is no cultural get out clause on being deceitful.

[terry57]

I'm honest and lethally straightforward when it comes to recalcitrant people of unmannered breeding from anywhere in the world.

Don't ask for the husband count, now.

and if you dont do something about that frigging hair do and choppers you'll end up sharing a house with me miss jet.

at least we would be honest with each other.

[Jet Gorgon]

I'm honest and lethally straightforward when it comes to recalcitrant people of unmannered breeding from anywhere in the world.

Don't ask for the husband count, now.

and if you dont do something about that frigging hair do and choppers you'll end up sharing a house with me miss jet.

at least we would be honest with each other.

Do you snore?

[terry57]

I'm honest and lethally straightforward when it comes to recalcitrant people of unmannered breeding from anywhere in the world.

Don't ask for the husband count, now.

and if you dont do something about that frigging hair do and choppers you'll end up sharing a house with me miss jet.

at least we would be honest with each other.

Do you snore?

only when ive had 15 towers of brown frothy ale with my top mate dave.

but if you kip down in the hog shed for the night it will not be a problem. :D

[tutsiwarrior]

white girls get into this business as well...it ain't just an asian thing...

and so do white boys too. Thats the point isn't it. There is no cultural get out clause on being deceitful.

love ya, miz Boo...spot on

[GuestHouse]

ive got some real bad news for you guesthouse, but me and you have to be top friends again , as if you keep picking on me the mods are going to kick your arse into outerspace.

What a curious thing to say.

Commenting on past Modorator action is one thing and is as we all know, and I hope agree, not allowed under the rules.

But to comment on Moderator actions to come?! Or perhaps even use the name of the Mods to silence those who have rumbled you... Now that is someting of a different order.

Are you telling me you have a deal going on? A friend in high places?

Goodness me.

[Dupont]

Most of the old guys walking around Bangkok are not exactly experts when it comes to marriage as a partnership. They are happy to have a wife/servent to take care of them, which is why they came here in the first place.

You are so screwed up mate. You should read up on divorce laws in the west and then you may realise that a lot of men get totally screwed by the systems. Your Western wife can get shot of you and take your money more easily than a ladyboy with a bag of roofies. She turns up at a lawyers and says she feels threatened, and you are toast.

You've fallen for the PC doctrine: Man is bad, white man badder, old white mad baddest, Thai woman is sex slave. Wake up mate and get out and about a bit more.

Most older men i know, absolutely dote on their wives, whether they are ex bar girls or top financial consultants. They, as I do, appreciate the fun and joy that life in LOS can be, down to the everyday tasks such as shopping, getting on the bus, eating on a street stand.

Love actually can break out here, despite what the cynics say.

Honesty, yes. Total honesty hmmmmm, wouldn't work.

[tutsiwarrior]

Most of the old guys walking around Bangkok are not exactly experts when it comes to marriage as a partnership. They are happy to have a wife/servent to take care of them, which is why they came here in the first place.

You are so screwed up mate. You should read up on divorce laws in the west and then you may realise that a lot of men get totally screwed by the systems. Your Western wife can get shot of you and take your money more easily than a ladyboy with a bag of roofies. She turns up at a lawyers and says she feels threatened, and you are toast.

You've fallen for the PC doctrine: Man is bad, white man badder, old white mad baddest, Thai woman is sex slave. Wake up mate and get out and about a bit more.

Most older men i know, absolutely dote on their wives, whether they are ex bar girls or top financial consultants. They, as I do, appreciate the fun and joy that life in LOS can be, down to the everyday tasks such as shopping, getting on the bus, eating on a street stand.

Love actually can break out here, despite what the cynics say.

Honesty, yes. Total honesty hmmmmm, wouldn't work.

a lot of us have had that experience, I'm afraid not that I was sorry to leave that shithole called England, but she took my autistic son as well and now uses his disability to claim benefit...

lying, white bitch indeed...

[terry57]

ive got some real bad news for you guesthouse, but me and you have to be top friends again , as if you keep picking on me the mods are going to kick your arse into outerspace.

What a curious thing to say.

Commenting on past Modorator action is one thing and is as we all know, and I hope agree, not allowed under the rules.

But to comment on Moderator actions to come?! Or perhaps even use the name of the Mods to silence those who have rumbled you... Now that is someting of a different order.

Are you telling me you have a deal going on? A friend in high places?

Goodness me.

oh come on guesthouse,

your a fun guy so keep on smiling me old salt, and to quote " monty python "

" always look on the bright side of life."

[terry57]

Most of the old guys walking around Bangkok are not exactly experts when it comes to marriage as a partnership. They are happy to have a wife/servent to take care of them, which is why they came here in the first place.

You are so screwed up mate. You should read up on divorce laws in the west and then you may realise that a lot of men get totally screwed by the systems. Your Western wife can get shot of you and take your money more easily than a ladyboy with a bag of roofies. She turns up at a lawyers and says she feels threatened, and you are toast.

You've fallen for the PC doctrine: Man is bad, white man badder, old white mad baddest, Thai woman is sex slave. Wake up mate and get out and about a bit more.

Most older men i know, absolutely dote on their wives, whether they are ex bar girls or top financial consultants. They, as I do, appreciate the fun and joy that life in LOS can be, down to the everyday tasks such as shopping, getting on the bus, eating on a street stand.

Love actually can break out here, despite what the cynics say.

Honesty, yes. Total honesty hmmmmm, wouldn't work.

a lot of us have had that experience, I'm afraid not that I was sorry to leave that shithole called England, but she took my autistic son as well and now uses his disability to claim benefit...

lying, white bitch indeed...

crikey's tuts,

you sure are going to get the boys cranked up with that one mate.

[tutsiwarrior]

Most of the old guys walking around Bangkok are not exactly experts when it comes to marriage as a partnership. They are happy to have a wife/servent to take care of them, which is why they came here in the first place.

You are so screwed up mate. You should read up on divorce laws in the west and then you may realise that a lot of men get totally screwed by the systems. Your Western wife can get shot of you and take your money more easily than a ladyboy with a bag of roofies. She turns up at a lawyers and says she feels threatened, and you are toast.

You've fallen for the PC doctrine: Man is bad, white man badder, old white mad baddest, Thai woman is sex slave. Wake up mate and get out and about a bit more.

Most older men i know, absolutely dote on their wives, whether they are ex bar girls or top financial consultants. They, as I do, appreciate the fun and joy that life in LOS can be, down to the everyday tasks such as shopping, getting on the bus, eating on a street stand.

Love actually can break out here, despite what the cynics say.

Honesty, yes. Total honesty hmmmmm, wouldn't work.

a lot of us have had that experience, I'm afraid not that I was sorry to leave that shithole called England, but she took my autistic son as well and now uses his disability to claim benefit...

lying, white bitch indeed...

crikey's tuts,

you sure are going to get the boys cranked up with that one mate.

not what I had intended, but I always prefer brutal truth to roast beef and ice cream...

[Boo]

Yawn, I am SO sure that all your guys who have been through a divorce in the western world & feel hard done by were ALL completely innocent in any part of the marriage break up And your ex wives are living it up looking after the kids from your relationship & living like royalty on the child support checks you ALL must be paying But no matter what poor babies you are, this will not turn into a slag off western or thai women thread ok

[terry57]

Yawn, I am SO sure that all your guys who have been through a divorce in the western world & feel hard done by were ALL completely innocent in any part of the marriage break up And your ex wives are living it up looking after the kids from your relationship & living like royalty on the child support checks you ALL must be paying But no matter what poor babies you are, this will not turn into a slag off western or thai women thread ok

thats a fair enough comment there boo so if you bad guys want to slag anyone off, do it to me as i love it.

cheers punting friends

[donna]

men lie too you know.

[meemiathai]

i am under the opinion that when a man decide's to take a wife one of the fundamental requirements is that you can expect your wife to be honest with you.

to me a marrage must be based on trust and if one of the partners is blatantly caught lying it destroys that very base.

if this happenned to me i would always be second guessing my partner every time she told me something.

i realise that in los lying is an accepted part of the saving face process and it's the one thing i find difficult to deal with.

but to have my wife lying to me would do my head in.

dont think i could stay in a relationship were this occured.

do you think i am being unreasonable to place such a high importance upon honesty?

What is the big deal of lying? It is part of human nature. Everyone needs to lie on an everyday basis. Why be so fussy about it? As long as she really loves you....... and of course most importantly you really love her.

[adjan jb]

"Truth in marriage. Is it required ?"

Truth is required. Marriage is not.

[terry57]

men lie too you know.

they certainly do donna and both sexes are equally guilty. i covered that in my opening address.

[TAWP]

men lie too you know.

MEN NEVER LIES!

We engage in disinformation.

[terry57]

i am under the opinion that when a man decide's to take a wife one of the fundamental requirements is that you can expect your wife to be honest with you.

to me a marrage must be based on trust and if one of the partners is blatantly caught lying it destroys that very base.

if this happenned to me i would always be second guessing my partner every time she told me something.

i realise that in los lying is an accepted part of the saving face process and it's the one thing i find difficult to deal with.

but to have my wife lying to me would do my head in.

dont think i could stay in a relationship were this occured.

do you think i am being unreasonable to place such a high importance upon honesty?

What is the big deal of lying? It is part of human nature. Everyone needs to lie on an everyday basis. Why be so fussy about it? As long as she really loves you....... and of course most importantly you really love her.

meethai,

you've been drinking again have'nt you ?

thats ok , and cheers mate. :D

[tutsiwarrior]

Yawn, I am SO sure that all your guys who have been through a divorce in the western world & feel hard done by were ALL completely innocent in any part of the marriage break up And your ex wives are living it up looking after the kids from your relationship & living like royalty on the child support checks you ALL must be paying But no matter what poor babies you are, this will not turn into a slag off western or thai women thread ok

I HATE white women...hissssss

that's it...tutsi off for a holiday...bye, folks...

[Boo]

[sbk]

Yawn, I am SO sure that all your guys who have been through a divorce in the western world & feel hard done by were ALL completely innocent in any part of the marriage break up And your ex wives are living it up looking after the kids from your relationship & living like royalty on the child support checks you ALL must be paying But no matter what poor babies you are, this will not turn into a slag off western or thai women thread ok

I HATE white women...hissssss

that's it...tutsi off for a holiday...bye, folks...

Really tutsi? I doubt it I think you just hate your ex-wife. I am sure you are smart enough to know the difference.

Remember one thing tutsi: Dill Seeds

As for honesty in marriage. Well, my husband is painfully honest, sometimes too much so. But, knowing that about him I also know that I can trust him. Without honesty, there is no trust.

[tutsiwarrior]

Yawn, I am SO sure that all your guys who have been through a divorce in the western world & feel hard done by were ALL completely innocent in any part of the marriage break up And your ex wives are living it up looking after the kids from your relationship & living like royalty on the child support checks you ALL must be paying But no matter what poor babies you are, this will not turn into a slag off western or thai women thread ok

I HATE white women...hissssss

that's it...tutsi off for a holiday...bye, folks...

Really tutsi? I doubt it I think you just hate your ex-wife. I am sure you are smart enough to know the difference.

Remember one thing tutsi: Dill Seeds

As for honesty in marriage. Well, my husband is painfully honest, sometimes too much so. But, knowing that about him I also know that I can trust him. Without honesty, there is no trust.

oh, darlin'...you are disruptin' the drama...I want the white girls on the forum to DISLIKE ME...cursed an' abused, etc...later to be nailed to the cross as an icon for abused ex-husbands everywhere...

oh, dear...looks like I have failed again...

Edited January 19, 2007 by tutsiwarrior

[terry57]

Yawn, I am SO sure that all your guys who have been through a divorce in the western world & feel hard done by were ALL completely innocent in any part of the marriage break up And your ex wives are living it up looking after the kids from your relationship & living like royalty on the child support checks you ALL must be paying But no matter what poor babies you are, this will not turn into a slag off western or thai women thread ok

I HATE white women...hissssss

that's it...tutsi off for a holiday...bye, folks...

Really tutsi? I doubt it I think you just hate your ex-wife. I am sure you are smart enough to know the difference.

Remember one thing tutsi: Dill Seeds

As for honesty in marriage. Well, my husband is painfully honest, sometimes too much so. But, knowing that about him I also know that I can trust him. Without honesty, there is no trust.

well SBK,

thats the whole point of this post " without honesty, there is no trust "

i mean that is not a very hard concept to grasp, is it not ?

i think what it boils down to is how one views themself.

im far from perfect but i feel that im an honest person so i must have honesty with a partner.

i suppose if one lean towards lying they would expect the same from there partner.

that would be the only way one could deal with it.