Marriage to foreigners not all it's cracked up to be complains Isaan woman stuck in Farangland!

[talahtnut]

15 hours ago, Petchou said:

Ignorance in its splendor.   What are you doing in country of peasants?   You are probably living on their money or with meegre money and you are useless back home.

He is maybe, doing what some of the greatest philosophers that ever lived did.

Quite a few in the west chuck their high status jobs and turn to living off the land.

There's nothing like ploughing you own land and watching your food grow.

 

 

[Robm579]

the grass may well be greener... but you'll probably have to cut it yourself

[George FmplesdaCosteedback]

TwitFace rubbish.

This woman must be dumb as a soi dog.

The west does not have "money trees", it has rich and poor the same as everywhere else.

"Two week millionaires" are the route to riches and happiness?

Duh!

Wake up and look at the bills.

[jacko45k]

Oh well, at least you get to share your bed with just your husband!

[catman20]

But, they added, the fact is many Thai women find out it is just a dream. Reality is different.

 

som nam na welcome to the real world.

[Gecko123]

Trying to work out where the idea that everyone in the west has a maid even came from. Only thing I can think of is that rich Thai people on Thai TV always have servants.

[catman20]

19 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

I find British and German to be particularly dumb when choosing their Thai partners.

i think that goes for most farangs regardless of where they come from

[4MyEgo]

19 hours ago, Just1Voice said:

What?  No maids?  No cooks?  No one to clean up after you?  OMG, what's the world coming to???

 

My wife lived in farang land with me for 9 years, supporting me while I worked and raised my daughter as a single dad when she was in my care, my daughter is now 21 and looks after herself. During that time, my wife never complained or expected anything. My daughter is currently here visiting and staying with us and still calls my wife mum, that's respect.

 

I build her a 6 bedroom 3 bathroom house in Isaan where we have lived since I retired, she refuses to have a "maid" clean her house, oh well, I did try a couple of times.

 

Never did ask her if she wanted a cook, because I can still clearly remember the day when she first walked into the house in farang land, standing in the hallway, she asked, where is the kitchen, I said, this way, and as she walked into the kitchen she said, you not come in here anymore, this is my space, and that's how its been ever since, and she loves to cook, and boy she she muster up a storm without a sweat, never a day gone by where she has refused to cook me a meal.

 

She has never asked for hand outs, although asked if I could send money every now and again to her parents when we lived in farang land, of which I did, it was on a monthly basis 10,000 baht, with some TVF cheap Charlie's saying I was crazy.

 

Yeh, thinks me married the wrong girl 555

[catman20]

18 hours ago, Odysseus123 said:

Give her a break she is speaking honestly-and very much to the point-about the clash of cultures.I prefer  honesty to dishonesty,don't you?

 

I recall that about 2 years ago an honest Thai woman said the same things about her life in Germany with the usual ballyhoo from ThaiVisa posters.

 

Once again 5 stars for honesty.

its a pity the Thai dont read her post to avoid making the same mistake, talking of mistakes why do all the 50 + year old farangs find it compulsory to get there partner pregnant ?

[Gecko123]

The OP portrays this woman as a whiny-ass spoiled brat in order to turn her into click-bait. Very unfair.

 

 

[stigar]

Wages in norway is about 800 bath pr hour...free hospitals..heart operations...i wery sick free helicopterfligth to nearest surgery...if no work welfare thats MUCH higher then thailand..if give birth goverment give 12000 EURO for free...give 4000 bath a month for kids..age between 1-2 years old 1000 EURO extre pr month...when work give 11% of all year salary for hoidaymoney....pigmeet cheaper in norway then thailand...and she complaining?????..OMG

Better she go back..if they get unemployd goverment give them money everyday until they back work again.this they can receive 104 weeks...if get sick and cant work keep same salary 12 month..mostly of this girls just saving their money here and dont pay a bill in the household ...but still complaining.

I forgot minimum 600 hour free norwegian lessons in school

Edited February 4, 2018 by stigar

[catman20]

18 hours ago, Misterwhisper said:

Seems like a self-entitled, dead lazy wench from some hick village in Isan who brought absolutely nothing to her marriage except high-flying demands. What's worse, she apparently never had the intention to contribute anything in the first place. Her long list of expectations speaks volumes about her mind-set:

 

So would that be what she would do in Thailand married to a local, sleep and eat all day? I think not.

As a grown-up in Thailand, is she not expected to bear responsibility for herself?

    Yup, no grandma with whom she can dump her child and be rid of it. As a mother in "farangland" she actually is expected to act like a mother and accept the challenge. Too bad, ain't it? On the plus side, she won't need to be too concerned about being made pregnant by 5 different guys in turn, all of them then running off one after another, abandoning their offspring without needing to fear any consequences.

Having enjoyed a sheltered life in the farm house in Isan with one or several maids cleaning up after her? I doubt it.

 

How often did she receive constant cash handouts and gifts from her former Thai boyfriend? Rarely, I'd assume. Unless she had napped herself a wealthy local sugar daddy, of course.

Yes, especially when it is expensive imported Thai food stuffs from the Asia store that she cannot do without after settling in "farangland", as the simple verb "adapt" is apparently not in her vocabulary. Perhaps she could drown her woes with an occasional bottle of a good table wine, which only costs about 3 or 4 euros or so instead of the 20 it costs in Thailand for a bottle of mediocre plonk.

You also normally dine in a nicely appointed restaurant instead of in a wooden shack with dirt floor on the roadside. I must assume that's where she usually had her "dinners" back home, because if she went to a better restaurant - even in Isan - the bill certainly was more than 100 or 200 baht. I recently visited a lovely lakeside place near Khonkaen with enchanting open-air dining pavilions along the bank. A plate of "khana moo khrob" cost 90 Baht and a bowl of "tom yam ruam mit" 140 Baht; and that was out in the middle of nowhere with no foreign tourists anywhere.

 

If she lives in the countryside instead of in the middle of a large city's concrete jungle she could definitely find "things growing for free in the wild". But of course she has no idea what to look for. In Europe, EUROPEAN herbs, vegetables and mushrooms grow in the wild. Alas, not THAI ones.

Exactly, because in Europe not every stranger you meet automatically wants to become part of your family and they prefer to be addressed in a polite manner instead. And even in Thailand that nice "uncle", the local police man, will suddenly forget all about his "automatic family relationship" when he comes arresting you for allegedly having stolen a couple of chickens from your neighbor down the road, the other "uncle".

 

Ah, and her avid reader Phenkhao finally comes to the crux of the entire matter, the one point that supersedes all:

And that's what it all boils down to, isn't it? A marriage with a "farang" male is not entered into because the Thai woman feels an emotional connection ("love") with him but because the foremost objective is to siphon off as much money from the husband to channel back to the family in the village. In fact, her foremost responsibility, so she's been indoctrinated since childhood, will always be to her family, regardless whom she eventually marries or where she moves.

 

Yes, I am aware that I am generalizing, and I expect a lot of backlash for it. As some other posters have rightfully pointed out, there certainly are lots of women in this country who are honest, hard-working and responsible individuals and may marry their "farang" for more than just a continuous stream of dosh. But the whining and complaining Isan woman clearly doesn't not fall into this category. Every word she wrote reeks of false expectations, exaggerated demands and total ignorance of the world outside Thailand.

do you feel better now you got that off your chest ?

[metisdead]

A post using a foreign language has been removed as well as the replies.

 

Grammar/punctuation police posts and replies have been removed. 

[inThailand]

Marriage to foreigners not all it's cracked up to be complains Isaan woman stuck in Farangland!

 

Wouldn't many falangs say the same about marrying an Isaan woman? And it's not a free ride?

[isaanbanhou]

16 minutes ago, stigar said:

Wages in norway is about 800 bath pr hour...free hospitals..heart operations...i wery sick free helicopterfligth to nearest surgery...if no work welfare thats MUCH higher then thailand..if give birth goverment give 12000 EURO for free...give 4000 bath a month for kids..age between 1-2 years old 1000 EURO extre pr month...when work give 11% of all year salary for hoidaymoney....pigmeet cheaper in norway then thailand...and she complaining?????..OMG

Better she go back..if they get unemployd goverment give them money everyday until they back work again.this they can receive 104 weeks...if get sick and cant work keep same salary 12 month..mostly of this girls just saving their money here and dont pay a bill in the household ...but still complaining.

I forgot minimum 600 hour free norwegian lessons in school

She is living in Germany not Norway

[stigar]

1 minute ago, isaanbanhou said:

She is living in Germany not Norway

Saw that now...anyway i think she get a better life them before

[Syduan]

19 hours ago, Oziex1 said:

Sadly this is the price they pay for the almost complete lack of knowledge of the world beyond Thailand.

 

 

Correction, beyond the house they grew up in.

 

[Bangkokazy]

Edited February 4, 2018 by Bangkokazy

[Grumpy Duck]

My first wife was Korean. An Army wife. Her best friend married a wealthy American that welcomed her with open arms. I continually told her I was not wealthy. To make things worse my foster family treated her like a maid. I severed ties with them right away. They claimed she was a gold digger, (I had no gold and was still in the Army).

The Army actually insisted we be interviewed for a chaplains documentry on "Hardships of Foreign Marriages". The marriage only lasted about 6 years. We were married way too young (19) and we grew in different directions. 

[mickyboy]

She moaning he might wanted a maid with benefits I smell divorce 

[steven100]

Just goes to show why Thailand is better .....

[Berkshire]

17 hours ago, DoctorG said:

I am going to blame the husband who obviously either did a lousy job of explaining the West to her, or was unable to communicate with her in a common language.

Agree.  If the girl had any expectations about farangland, it was because hubby put it in her head. 

[Gecko123]

Also, the thread headline reads "Marriage to foreigners not all it's cracked up to be complains Isaan woman",  but she isn't actually complaining about her husband or her marriage at all, but rather the cost of living and other adjustment problems she's experienced. A more accurate thread title would have been "Life overseas not all it's cracked up to be complains Isaan woman."

Edited February 4, 2018 by Gecko123

[Bundooman]

20 hours ago, michaelj said:

And that comment says more about you and your Thai social circle than it does about "most Thai" anyone at all.

Why use an "I'm superior, and know more about Thais than you" attitude? The poster was 100% correct regarding the outlook of a significant number of Thai people, whether you like it or not!

[thailand49]

12 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

You hit the nail right on the head!

 

Thai women, and they may be mislead by the farang, do not seem to realize farangs are rich, middle class and poor.

 

They want to believe they are marrying the rich. They want to believe they are all rich.

 

Is it an oversight on their desire to escape poverty, or are they simply victims because the farang never made her understand exactly what financial class he lived in?

 

 

Not saying this is what happen?  Sometimes it happens so fast people overlook it due her being pregnant?  Then are times they just don't believe it due to rumors of other girls stories in the bars, etc.. even a Thai M.P. was quoted a few years back in the Bangkok Post, that if you want a better life " marry a farang "  there are so many stories about Isaan how the economy and the number of homes being build in Isaan as a example.

Sometimes it is a discussion in contrasts, you are telling a girl you don't have money but yet they have a idea how much a airplane flight cost,  although your hotel might not be 5 days it is better than where they are staying. You say you don't have money but you are at Starbucks twice a day 300 baht, double what she spends on food for her and baby a day.

There are times no matter how much you try they don't believe think you being cheap hiding something?  Then if you talk too much and long they tell you they understand because they want you to stop talking. 

I have a close friend took her to a Law firm in Bangkok that he used a number of times, the lawyers were Thai raised in the U.S. spoke perfect English/Thai and pay them for their time to translated his conversation about his life and what to expect.

There is no real answer solution if they just have their hand out regardless who they are?

 

[Jimdandy]

It also speaks volumes about the number of westerners who really do not have the financial means to manage their own lives, living paycheck to paycheck then expecting to 'hook' a Thai girl because of the way she looks, without any understanding of the language or cultures in Southeast Asian. There are Thai Chinese, Thai Vietnamese and so forth all with a little different perspective of life. The only successful couples I have met were married to retired guys with 'disposable income', meaning close to 100,000 US . Not to say that the only successful marriages are in that category because they are not. One of my friends shuttles between the east coast of America and Nonthaburi every single year with her and her son without fail, pays for her son's education in the US, bought her a house in Nonthaburi and brings her mother to the US every winter for a few weeks. She is not drop dead gorgeous; she is unconditionally loyal to him. He did not lie to her.

 

Thailand is not a one size fits all country. Another friend who earns upwards of 250,000 US is miserable because he is addicted to working and making lots of money but his third girlfriend wants out because he expects her to stay home and wait for him every day. She hates her situation. It is sad when westerners, like some of us, think just because we are westerners we have a better quality of life and are totally clueless about what it takes to have a relationship with a woman from a completely different culture. It is not about her becoming westernized. Maybe it is about two people learning what it takes to find happiness first. Well that's my two cents.

[Dexlowe]

43 minutes ago, richards said:

<deleted>!  who writes this crap!   This is not news.

 

Why does it have to be "news" to be posted here? You're jumping on the "it's not news" bandwagon to make yourself look clever and more tuned in than the rest of us plebs. In newspaper parlance, it's a feature story, a lifestyle story, a soft story, as opposed to a hard news story (contained in a separate section). As with a newspaper, you don't have to read it if it doesn't appeal to you. Have a nice, newsy day.

[micmichd]

21 hours ago, JOC said:

Poor little thing.....!!

She forgot to mention, that if she had to work (Buddha forbid) to help supporting the family, the minimum wage in Germany is 8.84 Euro = 353  baht PER HOUR......

Don't forget how hard it is to get a job in Germany, even for a native German. And don't forget about the prices (housing, electricity, health care, etc) over there. 

I compared wages and living costs for a trained nurse in Munich and a trained nurse in Pattaya once. Result: the difference is not that big anymore. 

 

You must be dreaming if you paint Germany as a land of milk and honey, and Farangs should be honest about that. 

 

This Farang should have paid education for his wife first, and then let her decide where she wants to live. Unfortunately many Farangs think her Thai wife will be a housewife only and don't give a damn about her education (I've heard that many times), and then they complain that they can't feed her.  

And don't make promises if you're not sure you can keep them.

[BEVUP]

10 hours ago, talahtnut said:

One does not need an education to be wise or smart..Indeed, it could have the opposite effect in many cases.

Exactly 

Look at half of Asia - Just open up a business & see how you go & maybe very happy

Now look at the west - They force you to do course after course costing thousands , poke & prod you (due to insurance companies ), even want Police Clearances for being stuck in the middle of a dessert on some grubby Iron Ore Mine

Filling out 30 pgs for every job & then having to literally wait a mth for no reply or an opportunity to waste more time then no reply

& they get angry & wander why you haven't taken the job offer after a mth of going through crap from them - BECAUSE I had to do many & will take the first one

In the meantime you may have done this a dozen times having to put up with the incompetent muppets in the HR sections , knowing that when you land a job you have to teach the ones already there 

 

There is no way I will put my son in that situation' he will learn something & work here not having to put up with the west's restrictions & crap 

 

[micmichd]

22 hours ago, Oziex1 said:

Sadly this is the price they pay for the almost complete lack of knowledge of the world beyond Thailand.

 

 

Then it's the Farang's duty to tell the truth and show it to the Thai lady before marrying. Otherwise it turns out to be a trap.