I called my TGF and she was watching TV. I asked her what she was watching, and she replied F#@k YOU's" I thought.... a bit touchy there aren't you? I asked her again if she was watching something important enough to want to ask me to F^%K off, thinking it must be one of those Soap Opera thingies, and she said no, she was watching the television,,,, F^$K YOU's.......

This really went on for awhile, and I couldn't figure out why she was using profanity (which she never did around me), and why she was so touchy about watching TV. Then she started laughing, howling...... and it was even worse once she realized she was not pronouncing it right, because I got multiple F@$K YOU's while she was laughing.

Only after I learned how to laugh while someone was telling me "F@%K You's" did I get it.

FOX NEWS... she was watching frickin FOX NEWS....... To this day I still ask her what she is watching on TV, and now she really has learned to say "F#%K YOU's"

A friend of mine's profession was a "heart attack".

We cheated too and it works fine...Thailish.

And, does any of your significant others completely mix Thai and English even in one sentence or even mid-word? Just now 5 seconds

ago:

how this one from my wife " I mai loo put tee ni", Translates to " I dont know where I put it".

But you are right i do it all the time as well

My Wife says Fuc*uum cleaner!!

The first time I took my wife to Australia we were at my mother's and my mum got quite a shock when my wife said she was going to make nice f#$k soup for mum for dinner.

It took some explaining!!

Air: Air con

aisa keem : Ice cream

all reddy : already

Apart-men: Apartment

Arap: Arab

Ayt-cream: Ice cream

Bar: Bar

Beer: Beer

Boom boom: boom boom

Bprien lock, bpen baan chan diaow nee! :I've changed the locks, it's my house now.

boy shee : bullshit

Cee-dee: CD

Coh-cain: Cocaine

Com-piu-ter: Computer

Condo: Condo

Condom: Condom

cork = coke

Da-wid Bek-hairm: David Beckham

Dow: Down (cash deposit)

Dee-wee-dee: DVD

E-mai: Email

Fut-born: Football

Furni-ture: Furniture

Gan-jah: Ganja

Gay: Gay

Gin Tonic: Gin & Tonic

Gof: Golf

Green Tea: Green Tea

Hab: have

Hello: Hello (when answering phone)

Huge Gran: Hugh Grant

Impossment : important

I Finit (I finit alleddy) : Orgasm

Internet: Internet

Karaoke : karaoke

Lesbian show: Lesbian show

Lif: Lift (elevator)

Lip-satik: Lipstick

Logo: Logo

Manches-ter U-nai-tet: Manchester United

Mar-ga-rin: Margarine

Wave: Microwave

mo-bii : mobile phone

Moto-cyc: Motorcycle

My flend yoo : Your friend

Offit: Office

Oi: Oil

Panda: Panda

Pep-see: Pepsi

Per-sen: Percent

Pik-ap: Pick-up (truck)

Plastic: Plastic

pla-sa-tik : plastic

Pro du surr : producer

prom-prem : problem

Promo-shern: Promotion (special offer)

Pussee : Pussee

Sa-deet: Sadist

Same same : same

Ser-ee-ert: Serious

Sexy: Sexy

skoon : school

spankamagetthi : spaghetti

Taxi: Taxi

Tek-noh-loh-yee: Technology

Tennit: Tennis

Tee-wee: TV

Thank you very big : Thank you very much

Too mud: too much

ub 2 yoo : Up to you

U make me Kham : I got orgasm

Wee-dee-oh: Video

Wai: Wine

Do I need to ask what kind of girl has this vocabulary?

How many bar girls did you listen to to get this together?

When I arrived in Thailand a rented a car I thought I better learn how to say Left (Sai), Right (Quar) and straight ahead (Dong Bai) in thai. A lot of good that did me. She kept saying Quar when she meant sai.

Then when travelling through Udon Thani on her motorbike I had to learn my own way pretty fast coz she would tell me too late when we should have turned. So I kept asking everytime I thought me were close and saw a street if I should turn there. It was a bit enoying but at least i stopped missing turns.

Also another funny thing she does is let me start riding her around on my first day in thailand. She knew I was a total beginner on a motorcycle (6 hours learning 1 year before on an empty village road) She wanted me riding her everywhere on the city streets of Udon. Well I am happy she did as I learnt to ride pretty quickly. On the second day if I was riding too slowly (the same speed as those around me) she would tell me to go faster. A brave lass to be sure.

But now I feel safe and able to zip around anywhere. Dont know about Bangkok though. I cant see this type of thing happening in a western society these days. She pointed out the Thai road rules as I violated them "Dont overtake on the left as they might by turning into a side street" - Noted, "Drive faster, i'm hungry" - oookkk, "I not wear helmet coz no police tonight" - i see.

After getting booked once for her not wearing a helmet and her excepting me to pay her fine i said "next time you can pay the ticket" It wasn't hard to get her to wear a helemet after that funny enough

So much fun. So different.

Ask your gf for the Thai word for near (gly) and far (gly), and you try to spot the difference!!!

Wayyy to easy.

Ask her for "new silk doesn't burn".

My my my my.

Thanh

Siam CenTERRRR

CompuTERRRR

Harry PotTERRRR

Wisa

Wietnam

Thankyou werry mut.

Or this:

computOr

motEr sport

tErbo

Even used in advertising placards or "hi so" motoring magazines.

Thanh

Indeed! Cassia siamensis is also called golden shower. It used to be a beautiful description of this wonderful tree until perverts corrupted the meaning of golden shower.

Anyway, a female Canadian friend of mine named Cris was always distressed when the locals called her name. wink wink...

Then there's the national flower of Thailand. The Ratchapruk flower. Commonly known as the "Golden Shower".

My girlfriend is constantly making me laugh with the things she says to me on the phone. The other day she had been to and back from Bangkok in one morning and had done a lot of walking around. When i called her for our daily chat i asked her if she was going out. She replied ( well what sounded like) " My i dont work"

i kept saying "what do you mean you dont work", and she kept laughing,

i said "i know you dont work" , "no no" she replied "my i dont work, cannot go out", "what" i replied. "your iron?"

"no no......i!"

"Cannot see i no work"

After laughing for 10 minutes trying to understand what she was saying.

I worked it out her eyes were sore and she was tired!!!!!

Anyone else had the same fun?

Cute eye loved it.

overheard a few years back - a couple of TGs talking to each other:

"stupid farangs - why do they like the air cold and the water hot?"

My girl asked me exactly the same thing but without "stupid farang" reference Why do I take hot showers when I always say that its hot in Thailand ? She was right, but all I could come up with was that I have gotten used to it Its much colder where I'm from

regards, Bartek.

We were at the book store at Robinson's in Udonthani when she caught my attention. In addition to the history books on Kings Nareusan and Rama VIII, she asked for a talking 'dick'. 'What!', I exclaimed, 'you are a jung lai woman'. Then she pointed to the sign that read in English, 'talking dict on sale'.

On another occasion she was speaking to her nephew in the United States and telling him of the 'exorcist' machine she had purchased. After fruitlessly trying to make her nephew understand, she finally realised her mistake and told him that she had bought an exercise machine.

I was working in our Hanoi office, and I was trying to send a fax to my home. We had a combined phone and fax machine and my Vietnamese maid answered the phone the whole time instead of pressing the fax recieving button. So I called up and she answered and I said I wanted to send a fax to my wife so she must press the green button on phone instead of answering. She said my wife was in the shower and couldn't come right now. So I said, ok, just tell her to come down to the phone anyway, I will wait. She then went to knock on the shower door and the following conversation took place:

Maid: Hello Mam, come out quickly, your husband want to <deleted> you...

Wife: What??? What are you saying?? now closing the shower to hear better

Maid: Answer with slightly higher voice: Your husband want to <deleted> you....

Wife: But he is at the office?

Maid: Yes, and he want to <deleted> you, can you come to phone?

After which my wife understood and came out of the shower, and went to the phone and told me the whole story, we really had a good laugh.

I'm happy to report that our son is doing well in Thai school, and he's quite bright.

In fact,"He very in television."

The farang learning Thai introduced his wife... nii pen phonlamay korng phom ...saying she was his fruit instead of wife....phonlamaay not parrayaa

One of the best ones I heard was,, " I go stay here" What she wanted to say was , I will go to my room and stay home.

This is my first post here and I didn't read through the entire thread so I'm not sure if someone meantioned this one already. I was helping my gf learn English (writing actually) when we came to the letter X. This is a problem for Thais as they have a hard time with 's' at the end of a word (particularly if it follows another consonant). There in her workbook was a picture of fox. I asked her to say the word. After her attempt, I simply replied, "F**ck you too". We both had laugh.

BTW, if there are any Thais reading this, please give us some funny examples of foreigners speaking Thai. I know someone has brought it up already, but I will ask again.

My GF calls me My-Kull. My name is Michael

Mine is an interesting story. I suffered a tramatic brain injury in Afghanistan. Aside from a 100% hearing loss in my left ear. I process Thaienglish much easier than English. Something to due with the way my brain process's much like a dylexcic person reads. Immediately after my injury my English was MUCH worse then GF.

Funny we would eat at resteraunt and GF would say to waitress. "he not good, no ok" or "him head no good" "he no stupid, sick, Ok"

She mothers me and protects me, but never pitys me.

The strange looks we get from my fellow Farangs, when she translates English for me.

Driving this weekend (in the USA) with the Thai wife and stepchildren, the song "Waking Up in Vegas" came on the radio and the XM radio display. My 13 yo stepdaughter started singing along, but it came out "that's what you get for whacking off in Vegas". I couldn't stop laughing and had to wait to get home to explain it to my wife.

litten botten beer

my girl told me when we were on bed "HIM WAKE UP ALL LADY"

no need to mention what she was trying to say

You know how much food the wife puts on ya plate huh? Years ago I said, "Don't give me any more food or i'll go boom". After removing the fork from my eye, I explained what I really meant!

You know how much food the wife puts on ya plate huh? Years ago I said, "Don't give me any more food or i'll go boom". After removing the fork from my eye, I explained what I really meant!

The mum of a student of mine when I used to teach, said about her, "She sick with brain" Hard to remain professional sometimes!

This is my first post here and I didn't read through the entire thread so I'm not sure if someone meantioned this one already. I was helping my gf learn English (writing actually) when we came to the letter X. This is a problem for Thais as they have a hard time with 's' at the end of a word (particularly if it follows another consonant). There in her workbook was a picture of fox. I asked her to say the word. After her attempt, I simply replied, "F**ck you too". We both had laugh.

BTW, if there are any Thais reading this, please give us some funny examples of foreigners speaking Thai. I know someone has brought it up already, but I will ask again.

Try getting her to say 'Fox & Squirrel'.

I think it would be a good name for a bar in thailand...

Er, without taking this too far. Ask her to say "bridge" after fox and squirrel! It's amusing.

A friend took his Thai wife on holiday to the UK to meet his parents. On the first Sunday the family sat down to a traditional Sunday lunch. Half way through the meal my friend excused himself from the table to visit the bathroom, when he re-entered the dining room his wife asked in a loud voice "Have you had a good shit?"

When 1st met the wife to be and with farang friends, I jokingly called her 'you little sh*t' and said it was cute speak like for babies. Had to apologise to the American couple on our honeymoon at the swimming pool on Samet when she said to their kid..."You want swim you liitle sh*t"

"I have the big organism."

i wish my wife would say that to me.

She does to me!! :D