Planning Your Funeral

[Little Black Duck]

Jeeeze I just reply to peoples responses and next thing I know I'm being lambasted for things I didn't do..

I have people wanting to Roast me, Ladies asking for Wishes and my bone, I'm innocent I say..

And a Quacking good time to all my readers..I say..

[Jet Gorgon]

I'm going to do the same as Jeremy Bentham when i'm gone.

Oh. Which chair and in which location will your dissected body reside on? What about your unpublished papers?

I plan to use the toilet as my chair, and my unpublished papers as the stuffing.

Because of my chosen final 'chair' there will be no need for either my Benthamite underwear, or the more usual 'shirt-tails' between the leg alternative.

See? I have everything covered (or not, as the case may be . . )

PS . .how did I know it would be YOU who got the Bentham gag?

Because I love Van Morrison? Moralists, all.

Studied some philosophy. And I visited that university. Used to live in London. But, I cannae lie; as David J Taylor pointed out, I had to google to boogle my memory about Bentham.

A fine moment every time I read your comments on TV, Bendix. Was not sarcastic on a previous thread when you said as much about my comment; just appreciate when you share your wisdom and wit.

[Little Black Duck]

I'm going to do the same as Jeremy Bentham when i'm gone.

Oh. Which chair and in which location will your dissected body reside on? What about your unpublished papers?

I plan to use the toilet as my chair, and my unpublished papers as the stuffing.

Because of my chosen final 'chair' there will be no need for either my Benthamite underwear, or the more usual 'shirt-tails' between the leg alternative.

See? I have everything covered (or not, as the case may be . . )

PS . .how did I know it would be YOU who got the Bentham gag?

Because I love Van Morrison? Moralists, all.

Studied some philosophy. And I visited that university. Used to live in London. But, I cannae lie; as David J Taylor pointed out, I had to google to boogle my memory about Bentham.

A fine moment every time I read your comments on TV, Bendix. Was not sarcastic on a previous thread when you said as much about my comment; just appreciate when you share your wisdom and wit.

Were you even speaking real English just then ????

Perhaps she has gone already and no one told her...

Edited January 24, 2007 by Little Black Duck

[Jet Gorgon]

Were you even speaking real English just then ????

Perhaps she has gone already and no one told her...

I wuv you, Ducky. I wuv you. Look just over your left shoulder.

[davidjtayler]

Were you even speaking real English just then ????

Perhaps she has gone already and no one told her...

I wuv you, Ducky. I wuv you. Look just over your left shoulder.

Like that movie sixth sense ... she just doesn't know yet ... that's a bit philosophical isn't it...?

[Little Black Duck]

Were you even speaking real English just then ????

Perhaps she has gone already and no one told her...

I wuv you, Ducky. I wuv you. Look just over your left shoulder.

Ah the best Spirit I've ever experienced..Sang Som got nothin on you babe...

[astral]

I have stated my wish, both verbally and in my will, for a Thai funeral at the local temple,

the rest I will leave to my wife or whoever is around.

[tijnebijn]

Just burn me like the thai do,it's fine by me

[farangsay]

Just burn me like the thai do,it's fine by me

Does that mean you are a sucker for a good scam

or are you talking about cremation ?

[AlexLah]

Hey I think it is a good question.

My mother asked me that, What if you die today for whatever reason.

Do you want to be burried/cremated, and where your remains will go.

The place you were born or the place you stay in?

Do you have an insurance that take care of it?

It makes me think...

[HenryB]

In the interests of economy I told my wife sometime ago that if I suddenly croaked she shouldn't bother with a funeral unless I had already taken out life insurance as the cost of booze etc would be a waste of money.

Just put me on a stack of firewood in her fields and scatter the ashes as fertiliser.

I remember a sad case a few years ago when a young traveller died of a suspected drug overdose in Vangviang in Laos, the British government asked his distraught mother if she wanted the body flown home, when she found out the cost she asked them to cremate him there and just send back some personal items.

Not me I have set aside 5 million baht for Village party. The funeral shall be beautiful to bad I will not enjoy.

Well that's life.

[jEFFREYk44]

I know a guy who plans to be cremated and then have his ashes stored in a spirit house or chedi on the edge of his property. He will then have an ATM installed in it so every time his Thai wife comes to pay respect she can freshen up her wallet, or, when she needs some cash she can pay her respect to his memory

[tycann]

I think I want a Tibetan Sky Funeral. Where they hack you up and let the vultures eat your flesh. Supposedly, if they consume your entire body, including your bones, you were a 'pure person.' I still stand by my earlier post that Terry Jacks' Seasons in the Sun must be playing in the backgrounḍ.

[old wanderer]

I think I want a Tibetan Sky Funeral. Where they hack you up and let the vultures eat your flesh. Supposedly, if they consume your entire body, including your bones, you were a 'pure person.' I still stand by my earlier post that Terry Jacks' Seasons in the Sun must be playing in the backgrounḍ.

You know to be burried in the sky like you mentioned the Tibetan way, smacks of some of my ancestors (American Indian) that used to put the body on a platfom about 10' in the air. Sort of apeals to me.

I talked to my wife about this, acutally. I thought she would have me cremated, but NOOOOO...She is Suay (not Thai) and says she would do the same as when her grandfather died and she was 13 years old.

He was burried, and after a few years they dug him up, and using coconut water, cleaned and polished all the bones. (Wife said smell very bad, but look very beautiful). Then they lay the bones out in a casket, and have a BIG party....then burn....Have the monks set around the ashes all night chanting (so dogs and rats do not steal anything). The next morning all my friends come and poke around the ashes to find little pieces of bone and take and put in thier house so my spirit can be with them....She said she would make sure my spirit was in both our houses.

Some how I do not think I will have much say in the matter.

Edited January 24, 2007 by old wanderer

[Jet Gorgon]

I have set aside 5 million baht for Village party. The funeral shall be beautiful to bad I will not enjoy.

Henry, I think you should arrange the funeral a few days in advance of your demise, so you can enjoy the fruits of your labour. Then just kick off the morning of burning day.

[Jet Gorgon]

I know a guy who plans to be cremated and then have his ashes stored in a spirit house or chedi on the edge of his property. He will then have an ATM installed in it so every time his Thai wife comes to pay respect she can freshen up her wallet, or, when she needs some cash she can pay her respect to his memory

That "guy" wouldn't be you now, would he, Jeffrey? Seems to match the qualities of your sweet face. But, this is a good idea. Why pay out the lump sum? That happened to an unmarried Thai girlfriend when her mom died. The boys were lined up around the block asking for her hand. She finally went off with the Coca Cola delivery driver. Turns out he was married already but he scammed her out of her inheritance. Now, if Mom had set up an ATM that only dispensed Bt100 a day...

[Jet Gorgon]

I think I want a Tibetan Sky Funeral. Where they hack you up and let the vultures eat your flesh. Supposedly, if they consume your entire body, including your bones, you were a 'pure person.' I still stand by my earlier post that Terry Jacks' Seasons in the Sun must be playing in the backgrounḍ.

You know to be burried in the sky like you mentioned the Tibetan way, smacks of some of my ancestors (American Indian) that used to put the body on a platfom about 10' in the air. Sort of apeals to me.

I talked to my wife about this, acutally. I thought she would have me cremated, but NOOOOO...She is Suay (not Thai) and says she would do the same as when her grandfather died and she was 13 years old.

He was burried, and after a few years they dug him up, and using coconut water, cleaned and polished all the bones. (Wife said smell very bad, but look very beautiful). Then they lay the bones out in a casket, and have a BIG party....then burn....Have the monks set around the ashes all night chanting (so dogs and rats do not steal anything). The next morning all my friends come and poke around the ashes to find little pieces of bone and take and put in thier house so my spirit can be with them....She said she would make sure my spirit was in both our houses.

Some how I do not think I will have much say in the matter.

I like the name Tibetan Sky Funeral, but vultures picking my bones clean...I don't think there are winged vultures in Thailand. Maybe myna birds? That would take a very long time, Tycann.

Your wife's style of ritual is bizarre but beautiful in a thoughtful, caring way, Wanderer. Do her people believe that the spirit lingers? Fascinating.

Somehow, I don't think any TV members would do cleaning and polishing, but they'd be up for the party.

[macb]

Well I aint planing my Funeral for what. My wifes future is secured thats all that matters:

We will have our own kids and they wil be provided for as well, and when I die in about another 1000 yrs I wont be bothered anyway.

We all came to Thailand cos this is the place that makes us Happy, the last thing on my mind is Funerals

[leisurely]

As I have no religiousl beliefs or expectations of a life after death where I would need to be whole for resurrection, I don't give a stuff about how I am disposed of. Burn me, bury me, expose me, experiment on me. I truly don't care - although I have to say I do have a bit of a fancy for a Zoroastrian funeral......................similar to the tibetan one but on a tower of silence. I recall a report that due to the pollution in Bombay, there are fewer vultures so that may be a non starter

[thai_narak]

Don't you need a permanent resident to have funeral in Thailand? I would assume that if you only have a non-immigrant visa your embassy has to be notified upon your death and your corpse sent to your home country afterwards... Ever thought about this?

[old wanderer]

I think I want a Tibetan Sky Funeral. Where they hack you up and let the vultures eat your flesh. Supposedly, if they consume your entire body, including your bones, you were a 'pure person.' I still stand by my earlier post that Terry Jacks' Seasons in the Sun must be playing in the backgrounḍ.

You know to be burried in the sky like you mentioned the Tibetan way, smacks of some of my ancestors (American Indian) that used to put the body on a platfom about 10' in the air. Sort of apeals to me.

I talked to my wife about this, acutally. I thought she would have me cremated, but NOOOOO...She is Suay (not Thai) and says she would do the same as when her grandfather died and she was 13 years old.

He was burried, and after a few years they dug him up, and using coconut water, cleaned and polished all the bones. (Wife said smell very bad, but look very beautiful). Then they lay the bones out in a casket, and have a BIG party....then burn....Have the monks set around the ashes all night chanting (so dogs and rats do not steal anything). The next morning all my friends come and poke around the ashes to find little pieces of bone and take and put in thier house so my spirit can be with them....She said she would make sure my spirit was in both our houses.

Some how I do not think I will have much say in the matter.

I like the name Tibetan Sky Funeral, but vultures picking my bones clean...I don't think there are winged vultures in Thailand. Maybe myna birds? That would take a very long time, Tycann.

Your wife's style of ritual is bizarre but beautiful in a thoughtful, caring way, Wanderer. Do her people believe that the spirit lingers? Fascinating.

Somehow, I don't think any TV members would do cleaning and polishing, but they'd be up for the party.

Yes they have some very strong beliefs about life after and spirits....About a year after she came to the USA with me she woke me up at 3:00AM one morning really happy....Told me the spirit of her grandfather had finally found her and they had a visit just before waking me up.

The polishing of the bones is for only the very few people that are held in the highest reguard....After I wrote this, my wife came and read it. Said she would show some of her nieces how to do it when it came time.

We hav been married for 10 years now, and she is one tough gal....Some Mexican neighbors broke the leg of a little dog they had....after a week she had me go down and traslate for her (Thai/Mexican) That if these people did not take the dog to a vet, I was going to contact my friends in the govenment and have the whole family deported to Mexico...The decided to kill the dog....my wife jerked it away from them and took it home...(I thought,,,,,here goes a $1000 vet bill). Next day when when I came home from work she was sitting on the couch watching TV with the dog wrapped in a blanket..."How the dog" I asked?

"Oh he be fine" she replied.....well she had amputated the leg, deciding it was too infected and broke for too long to heal....now we have a 3 legged Chiwawa dog that sleeps with us.

[Jet Gorgon]

Yes they have some very strong beliefs about life after and spirits....About a year after she came to the USA with me she woke me up at 3:00AM one morning really happy....Told me the spirit of her grandfather had finally found her and they had a visit just before waking me up.

The polishing of the bones is for only the very few people that are held in the highest reguard....After I wrote this, my wife came and read it. Said she would show some of her nieces how to do it when it came time.

We hav been married for 10 years now, and she is one tough gal....Some Mexican neighbors broke the leg of a little dog they had....after a week she had me go down and traslate for her (Thai/Mexican) That if these people did not take the dog to a vet, I was going to contact my friends in the govenment and have the whole family deported to Mexico...The decided to kill the dog....my wife jerked it away from them and took it home...(I thought,,,,,here goes a $1000 vet bill). Next day when when I came home from work she was sitting on the couch watching TV with the dog wrapped in a blanket..."How the dog" I asked?

"Oh he be fine" she replied.....well she had amputated the leg, deciding it was too infected and broke for too long to heal....now we have a 3 legged Chiwawa dog that sleeps with us.

Thank you, Wanderer and your Wife for that.

[bina]

if i die and get sent home (to israel) thats a real bummer. jewish law prohibits cremation so if i was in the states, then my secular family could just do it, after i donated all my vitals.; however, if i get sent to here (the holyland) then i'm stuck being in a coffin or put on a plank, wrapped in towels and put under the ground... depends on which passport the authorities will use.

but since i will be dead anyway, i guess it doesnt really matter one way or the other; only to those having to do the burying.

it kind of bugs me though that i dont know what happens after i die. like, when u go to unifersity, u can check it out first, if u move country u check it out, but u cant check out death first to decide how u want it.....

my other thought was to have my bones become anantomy lessons for high schoolers. we used to have great fun with skelotons in class. (real bones frm two different poeple made up one skeleton).

i dont think i ll do the nang nak thing either. anon and i have agreed that he doesnt want a ghost wife hassling him... (i;m the older one of us, so may die sooner).

he btw refuses to talk about funerals and dying except to say : birth growing old pain and death, the cycles of life. and that we will meet again in the next life if their is one. he's not much of an animist but more truely budhist: if u dont see it yourself than its probably not .

bina

israel

[macb]

Don't you need a permanent resident to have funeral in Thailand? I would assume that if you only have a non-immigrant visa your embassy has to be notified upon your death and your corpse sent to your home country afterwards... Ever thought about this?

No I dont think you do !!!

Depends on family as well in your home country as long as police are informed and they will inform Immigration and Embassey

[Heng]

Don't you need a permanent resident to have funeral in Thailand? I would assume that if you only have a non-immigrant visa your embassy has to be notified upon your death and your corpse sent to your home country afterwards... Ever thought about this?

Does the 90 day rule apply to corpses?

[November Rain]

Don't you need a permanent resident to have funeral in Thailand? I would assume that if you only have a non-immigrant visa your embassy has to be notified upon your death and your corpse sent to your home country afterwards... Ever thought about this?

No I dont think you do !!!

Depends on family as well in your home country as long as police are informed and they will inform Immigration and Embassey

Correct, macb. Except for friends/family in LoS (if there are any) contact the embassy, not the police. My father died here 4 years ago, & there was no question of his body being repatriated. Everything was done here.

Don't know what I want for my funeral. Plenty of dogs around . Music, I do know though - I want "wonderful life" by Black and "perfect day" by Lou Reed. If I have a Thai funeral, I'd like a "rock concert" on one of the days, like my boyfriend's musician friends did for him. Nothing like "Stairway to Heaven", "November Rain" (remember the video to that?) and "Knocking on Heaven's Door" rocked out at full blast to say goodbye...

[Jet Gorgon]

Don't know what I want for my funeral. Plenty of dogs around . Music, I do know though - I want "wonderful life" by Black and "perfect day" by Lou Reed. If I have a Thai funeral, I'd like a "rock concert" on one of the days, like my boyfriend's musician friends did for him. Nothing like "Stairway to Heaven", "November Rain" (remember the video to that?) and "Knocking on Heaven's Door" rocked out at full blast to say goodbye...

We could pitch in to arrange that if we are still alive. What's your party budget?

[maccaroni man]

on a more serious note, typically death comes at a time we do not expect hence it is most important to have a record of all important documents and passwords so that surviving members of the family can cash in all insurance policies and find or access funds that they do not have access to now. i.e. I have a 50 something friend, he has a ton of money but he had a stroke and no one knows the passwords to access his money, the wife is dealing with hospital bills and running the household with no money, sad situation.

[November Rain]

Don't know what I want for my funeral. Plenty of dogs around . Music, I do know though - I want "wonderful life" by Black and "perfect day" by Lou Reed. If I have a Thai funeral, I'd like a "rock concert" on one of the days, like my boyfriend's musician friends did for him. Nothing like "Stairway to Heaven", "November Rain" (remember the video to that?) and "Knocking on Heaven's Door" rocked out at full blast to say goodbye...

We could pitch in to arrange that if we are still alive. What's your party budget?

I'm dead, JG, I can't pay! If you organise it for me, you can set the budget

[Jockstar]

Thinking about doing the will, arrangements, etc. (No, I am not suicidal.) I like Thai funerals. Kind of a party and get-together where all the villagers can wear their jewellery and take a few hours off work, eat and chill. Not many tears shed for the deceased that had a full life, which I really like. Cremation is OK, I just don't like the refridgerated coffins with the fairy lights.

Have you all planned your departures? Just want to get some ideas about how to plan my final party for anyone that wants to attend. It's not morbid, just sensible.

Why? I'm only 32. No plans on signing off just yet.