Need some advise from Outsiders about living etc.

[Inepto Cracy]

Run Forrest run. Your life, so your decisions, not mommy and daddy. You are doing well for yourself now, so take care of you first. Don't rush into marriage, take your time.

[merlin2014]

"That if i don't marry a thai i wont get anything from her(grandmom), she would give it to others in the family.

Its a bit of fortune( around 80 rai in land etc...)"

  I fear you will have this 80 rai held over you until her death.

A Thai has spent 10 years+ in Europe I´m sure would increase your chances of a happy marriage. 

    Good luck.

[Sumarianson]

Go back to Europe, quickly.

Sent from my SM-G935F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[Brunolem]

19 minutes ago, merlin2014 said:

 

Its a bit of fortune( around 80 rai in land etc...)"

  I fear you will have this 80 rai held over you until her death.

 

Depends which 80 rai...

80 rai in the city center is not exactly the same as 80 rai of rice paddies in the middle of nowhere.

In my area, 80 rai of rice paddies will go fetch maybe 2,5 million baht, which is a mere 68,000 euros, or about 2 months of the OP's income...not really worth any sacrifice...

 

[Sam564]

27 minutes ago, Brunolem said:

Doctor as in MD or Ph D?

 

If they know about your net worth, you can be sure that they gonna push...hard...for the marriage...

 

Anyway, given your profile, it seems to me that you are going to get bored very quickly in Isaan, which is before all a place for retired Westerners who like to take it slow...

 

My feeling is that someone like you would much better fit in a place like Singapore, for many reasons.

 

Why don't you take your "fiancee" over there for a few holidays...see the place and at the same time see how she fares once outside her cocoon...they also have the best schools in the world over there...

 

 

Yes both parents have PHD,  as i said they are pushing for the marriage. I prefer to have a wife that finish her studies lol.

I been to singapur for Holiday, its quiet easy to get around as i speak Chinese, and you be surprise that their English is awesome.

 

[Brunolem]

2 minutes ago, Sam564 said:

 

 

Yes both parents have PHD,  as i said they are pushing for the marriage. I prefer to have a wife that finish her studies lol.

I been to singapur for Holiday, its quiet easy to get around as i speak Chinese, and you be surprise that their English is awesome.

 

PhDs don't mean much...except for those who like to bragg about theirs...

I have two Thai neighbors with PhDs, nothing to be impressed about...spend as much time as my 13 year old son on their mobile phones during their free time...

 

So, what kind of PhD is she studying for, if I may ask?

 

I like Singapore very much...2,000 km from Isaan and about 200 years away in time...

[Sam564]

1 minute ago, Brunolem said:

PhDs don't mean much...except for those who like to bragg about theirs...

I have two Thai neighbors with PhDs, nothing to be impressed about...spend as much time as my 13 year old son on their mobile phones during their free time...

 

So, what kind of PhD is she studying for, if I may ask?

 

I like Singapore very much...2,000 km from Isaan and about 200 years away in time...

 

Her father is a surgeon, mother is a dentist.  I think she wants to become like her Dad. Same field.

Dont quiet know what those title mean, and to be honest i don't care about titles.

[Brunolem]

26 minutes ago, Sam564 said:

 

Her father is a surgeon, mother is a dentist.  I think she wants to become like her Dad. Same field.

Dont quiet know what those title mean, and to be honest i don't care about titles.

That would be MD, not PhD.

Anyway, if she really want to become a surgeon, she is in for the long run.

I can't figure how you could live together without one of you making a big professional and financial sacrifice.

Waiting a few more years would probably be a wise decision.

You could visit once a year, and she could do the same, and you would see how things evolve from there.

 

Let's put it frankly: if they really are in a hurry, it's only for the money...which is certainly not the best, at least for you...

[Brunolem]

1 hour ago, Sam564 said:

 

Her father is a surgeon, mother is a dentist.  I think she wants to become like her Dad. Same field.

Dont quiet know what those title mean, and to be honest i don't care about titles.

Here is a nice way out for you...where everybody is happy and nobody loses face.

Let them organize an engagement ceremony.

This is customary in Isaan...I have been to quite a few.

The purpose is to introduce the prospective husband to the prospective wife's family.

It is a very simple and informal ceremony, with a few guests, generally close to the family.

You have to bring a present, say cash...in my area, it is generally 10,000 baht, but given your circumstances, an amount between 50,000 and 100,000 baht would seem more appropriate.

After that, you are free to go back home, and in no way committed to a wedding...I have seen girls going through many engagement ceremonies since the previous ones had led nowhere...

 

Edited April 6, 2018 by Brunolem

[seancbk]

Sam, your situation isn't really all that unusual.  But you've not given enough info for us to really give much more than basic advise. 

You are 29 and from the sounds of it doing quite well for yourself.   Why are you not living it up in Bangkok and banging lots of hot young Thai or Farang girls? 

Do you like the girl your family have chosen for you?   

You said you have a decent monthly income, but that isn't from a job in Thailand right?   Would I be right in guessing you earn your money online?

At your age and with your income I wouldn't be up in Isaan, I'd be down in Bangkok being a playboy for at least another 5-10 years. 

[helloagain]

Come for holiday but for Gods sake not live here. You will earn nothing like that here. Stay where you are and earn good money and a pension and you can still find a thai wife in usa or aussie or europe if that is your thing. Live your life cos its your life tell your mother.

[Sam564]

3 hours ago, Brunolem said:

Depends which 80 rai...

80 rai in the city center is not exactly the same as 80 rai of rice paddies in the middle of nowhere.

In my area, 80 rai of rice paddies will go fetch maybe 2,5 million baht, which is a mere 68,000 euros, or about 2 months of the OP's income...not really worth any sacrifice...

 

 

its inner city and outside too, everything together its about 80 or so, thats what my mom says (udon thani, khon kaen, bangkok),  worth 350- 400mil bath.

[Sam564]

18 minutes ago, helloagain said:

Come for holiday but for Gods sake not live here. You will earn nothing like that here. Stay where you are and earn good money and a pension and you can still find a thai wife in usa or aussie or europe if that is your thing. Live your life cos its your life tell your mother.

 

Its true, i tried a bit and its not easy to earn money here :), Lucky i still earn monthly from Germany and also have a Online business .

I was always a guy that look for what i can do, i studied MBA in USA. But at the end you have to find ideas and know what to invest in.

I just cant imagine how Thai people can live from 15- 30k, and they have cars etc, must be magic.

My girlfriends were always a Asian typ in my time in Europe or USA.  I like Koreans and Chinese women. Its easy for me to get along with them. More class maybe then thai :).

Dont get me wrong, i giving  it a try with my future wife.(first Thai). In Germany or America my Parents didn't mix with Thais, which is also probably why i didn't learn Thai.

In our House  i always spoke English, German, or french. with my mother Chinese :).  The only time i mix with Thai people was if we where invited by the embassy for parties etc...

When i came to Thailand, it was like wow..... everything is so slow. Business, Bank, also i have to have a trip just to get something. Not like the US, where you can get anything around the corner :).

 

 

 

[Sam564]

57 minutes ago, seancbk said:

Sam, your situation isn't really all that unusual.  But you've not given enough info for us to really give much more than basic advise. 

You are 29 and from the sounds of it doing quite well for yourself.   Why are you not living it up in Bangkok and banging lots of hot young Thai or Farang girls? 

Do you like the girl your family have chosen for you?   

You said you have a decent monthly income, but that isn't from a job in Thailand right?   Would I be right in guessing you earn your money online?

At your age and with your income I wouldn't be up in Isaan, I'd be down in Bangkok being a playboy for at least another 5-10 years. 

 

 

Well to be honest i think i wouldnt die here :), I just buy property and redo it and sell it more expensive. It means i will do the same thing what my grandmother is doing.

 

I am not a Playboy guy type haha, really not. Prefer a long term relationship. My type of woman is, good education, means that one can talk with her.

Can stand on her own feed, at least. I don't care if she earn less or more. I am more liberal i think :)

And the best is that i dont need to pick side, red or yellow or what ever the problem is  in Thailand.

 

Edited April 6, 2018 by Sam564

[moto77]

I tend to think this is a fake post. However, if you really have the assets you mentioned, you need to stop reading everything here now and hire two lawyers that specialize in family law:

One in the country where you have your citizenship and one in Thailand. They would work out a prenuptial agreement for you. Anything you read online in this forum is likely to be either wrong or not applicable to your situation.

Finally, in the US, it depends on the state so if your citizenship is American your lawyer should be from the state that you plan to live in if you ever go back. 

[Daveyh]

If you do return ....... keep quiet about your personal finances. If you don't your "extended family " will never give you any peace Life here family wise revolves around money ..... if one has it ........ they all want a share. Your savings can quickly dwindle ...... when it's gone don't for one moment think someone will be there to "top it up"., Take care of your Mum, but the rest I'd give them a wide berth .... keep them away from knowing too much. I personally don't think coming back here is really a good move at your age, plus your lack of language skills in Thai ............ you may be Thai & entitled to work, but expect dismal salaries here & chaos in most work places, especially those that rely heavily on internet connections. Stay put is my advice  .... work hard, save your money etc & retire here when you can afford to ....... giving up the life you have just because family are pressuring you & saying you should is risky. Go with your gut ................. & don't regret it later. Good luck.

Edited April 6, 2018 by Daveyh

[inThailand]

Is this post from a sick falang looking to have fun with TV posters? Not hard to do!

[Enoon]

 

 

6 hours ago, moto77 said:

I tend to think this is a fake post.

 

And I tend to agree with you

 

I would be surprised to be talking to someone with an MBA and find out that they didn't know what a PHD or MD "meant".

 

I would also be very surprised to be talking to someone with the such life experience and achievements/assets who comes across as so extremely "floppy" and lacking in a will to explore and self-determine.

 

Someone whose Thai mother did not impress upon her son the need to speak her native language. The language his anticipated (by the family, which "mom" would go along with) future wife would be speaking.

 

A world traveled Luk Kreung who felt it appropriate to choose these pages for advice.

 

 

Edited April 6, 2018 by Enoon

[ToddinChonburi]

        As a father I will tell my son to date.  Spend some time with a few different girls and see what you like and what is important to you in a relationship. 

         I think you will need an educated girl to match who you are.

         At 29 you can easily date younger college girls .

        Do not let them know you have money try to find a girl that likes just you. This could be a challenge. Good luck and have fun dating.   Oh yes do not pay sin sod and date a girl for 2 to 3 years before marriage.  Wear a condom. 

 

 

[Brunolem]

11 hours ago, Sam564 said:

 

its inner city and outside too, everything together its about 80 or so, thats what my mom says (udon thani, khon kaen, bangkok),  worth 350- 400mil bath.

That's serious money indeed...yet given your personal situation, it isn't worth the sacrifice of a failed marriage...

[Brunolem]

5 hours ago, Enoon said:

 

 

I would be surprised to be talking to someone with an MBA and find out that they didn't know what a PHD or MD "meant".

 

I would also be very surprised to be talking to someone with the such life experience and achievements/assets who comes across as so extremely "floppy" and lacking in a will to explore and self-determine.

 

Someone whose Thai mother did not impress upon her son the need to speak her native language. The language his anticipated (by the family, which "mom" would go along with) future wife would be speaking.

Now that you mention it...there are indeed inconsistencies...

 

Generally, in the case of arranged marriages, families don't wait for the chosen children to be in their late twenties to introduce them to each other.

Knowing what's to come, the families will make sure that the chosen children learn their future common language, be it Thai, English or whatever.

 

On top of that, one doesn't become a highly successful businessman, or a surgeon, without having a strong personality.

While it is possible for families to influence their young children in getting into an arranged marriage, I can't imagine how they would announce something like that to young adults and expect to be taken seriously.

 

So, while the whole story may not be fake, some parts of it could be...most likely the parts revolving around money and wealth which are generally those that many posters like to embellish...go figure why...

[Mansell]

17 hours ago, Sam564 said:

Thats a bit a trouble, the thing is the girl they had in mind, she still not even finish studying:), you could think what i am thinking about it. I told we can date a bit to get to know each other(doing it anyway now), and when she finish her studies we can look if we suited for each other. She still needs 2 years.(Doctor)

I am also not a guy that to tell my future Wife what to do, if she wants to work or stay at home, its up to her.

And i believe also that her Parents are pushing her for our marriage.

Its so complicated to please everyone, i wish i would jump on the plane a stay in Germany or united states :), life was so much easier.

And if we have children, i would like to bring them up outside of Thailand(boarding school), of course will lead conflict with her parents:).

 

My opinion its that the schooling in Thailand is just crap(my aunt kids for example, they go to a international school in Bangkok and they still cant speak good english).

 

 

Pleasing everyone is the last reason to do anything.....they will never be satisfied, you have to satisfy yourself. You say life was simpler in Europe....that is because you were your own master. From everything you say, you are a European.....you are not Thai. My opinion is you need to live where you will be happy and with somebody who you enjoy being with. This old school thinking like your mother etc will die out when they die....you are living in the 21st century, not a 100 years ago.

At the end of the day when you lie in bed at night alone, what does your gut say? That is what you follow, not five people with five different agendas and five different opinions.

I will be very interested in what choice you make.

[Mansell]

I think this is a fake post.....he says he prefers long term relationship. Then why doesn't he mention any he has had in Europe? If he had been in one and it had meaning, why is he looking for one here. The supposed girlfriend here has two more years of study to be a doctor, but he sounded impatient about waiting for that.....but then tells us she can do what she wants. He tells us he has more money than God that he made himself, but cannot make a decision about his life.....please!

and what about his supposed Aussie father.....no opinion from him?

Also his English writing leaves something to be desired.....Scammer.

I think this is the Liar in Chief Trump scamming us....555

[BTB1977]

Your Thai family wants you back in thailand and get married. Nooooo, they want your money and to support them. Tell them you only come to visit and have no money. It is nice to have family, but do not let them control your money or your heart. Learn to say no and say it alot. See how they are after they hear it a few times. 

[Airalee]

So many inconsistencies.  The guy can’t even keep his story straight within a single post.

 

I can’t figure out how he has Thai family when his Dad is Australian and his mom is “very European”.

 

first his monthly income is *easily* €30,000 (฿1,152,283) per month and later it’s ฿400,000-600,000/month.  In his other thread it’s €10,000.

 

in this thread he is 29 years old.  In his other thread he is 30.

 

I side with the “fake post” group.

Edited April 7, 2018 by Airalee

[DipStick]

22 minutes ago, Airalee said:

So many inconsistencies.  The guy can’t even keep his story straight within a single post.

 

I can’t figure out how he has Thai family when his Dad is Australian and his mom is “very European”.

 

first his monthly income is *easily* €30,000 (฿1,152,283) per month and later it’s ฿400,000-600,000/month.  In his other thread it’s €10,000.

 

in this thread he is 29 years old.  In his other thread he is 30.

 

I side with the “fake post” group.

I think his real name is Walter Mitty or Walt Disney ! Too many inconsistencies in his waffle

[Brunolem]

48 minutes ago, DipStick said:

I think his real name is Walter Mitty or Walt Disney ! Too many inconsistencies in his waffle

Or Donald Trump...

[BEVUP]

15 hours ago, Enoon said:

 

 

 

And I tend to agree with you

 

I would be surprised to be talking to someone with an MBA and find out that they didn't know what a PHD or MD "meant".

 

I would also be very surprised to be talking to someone with the such life experience and achievements/assets who comes across as so extremely "floppy" and lacking in a will to explore and self-determine.

 

Someone whose Thai mother did not impress upon her son the need to speak her native language. The language his anticipated (by the family, which "mom" would go along with) future wife would be speaking.

 

A world traveled Luk Kreung who felt it appropriate to choose these pages for advice.

 

 

Me to absolute rubbish

Here you have a 29 yr old adult brought up the Falang way & has spent his entire life in Falang countries

No need to go on as it's full of holes, no doubt the above bit

An Aussie father wouldn't allow this - his life is outside of Thailand

 

[Thongkorn]

Do you honestly think you can live in Thailand after living in Europe for so long. I don’t think you will ever be excepted as a Thai. Speak to some guys who’s half Thai half children live here, Some of them go through hell being victimised.

Edited April 16, 2018 by Thongkorn