The week that was in Thailand news: From Safety to Serendipity – welcome to the Land of S….!

 

 

Everyone it seems has got their own take on what L.O.S. really stands for.

 

The tourism authorities would like us all to believe that it must be ‘smiles’ and only the most grisly curmudgeon would argue that the Thais don’t like a good grin.

 

But others prefer their own versions – land of a three letter word ending in EX, land of scandals…you name it.

 

But few would think of what the Thai Council of Engineers came up with this week causing a titter-fest of almost unimaginable proportions in comments on Thaivisa forum.

 

Commenting on the proposal that eleven occupations be opened up to foreigners the council disagreed saying:

 

“The civil engineering occupation should remain reserved for Thais, because it involves people’s safety”.

 

Yes, the Land of Safety would not be first words on many people’s lips when it comes to the true meaning of LOS!

 

Anyone with any knowledge about Thailand knows about the infamous roads and a litany of avoidable accidents continues to plague the country from boats to balconies, faulty wiring to faulty festival rockets - the country seems more like a Hub of Danger at time.

 

Throw in the idea that we are also living in the Land of Sweeping (under the shag pile carpet) where investigations are often perfunctory and rarely followed up to any substantial degree and you have a melting pot of potential mayhem with no end in sight.

 

When I first came to Thailand it was the lack of safety that was initially thrilling. Now with children both grown up and growing and a far greater awareness of my own mortality, or lack of it, like most people I am far more concerned about safety.

 

But should we just criticize the country we call home and shake our heads thinking that nothing will ever change for the better?  Or should we actively strive to improve things by working with the locals on a way forward to an improved future?

 

I have grown to believe passionately in the latter both in my private and work lives.

 

In 1998 while working as a school teacher I was tasked with my then headmaster to take charge of school expeditions, trips and outings of all sorts. Over the next 15 years I was to organize and oversee hundreds of residential visits to all corners of the kingdom and thousands of day trips in and around Bangkok.

 

With a clientele of parents of hi-so children freaked out by the very mention of leaving the campus on a bus, I had a job to do to convince the mums and dads that learning was not just about being in a classroom – there was a great big world out there where their little ones could thrive.

 

Eyebrows were raised – few Thais are under any illusions about safety standards in the country and these were the educated elite suspicious of their own slapdash people. And here was a stupid foreigner saying it was all going to be fine – we would bring their nippers back safely....trust me, I’m English.

 

My policy was to engage with Thai companies and operators – not stick my head in the sand and say it couldn’t be done like some other schools. I demanded that they adhere to OUR standards and explained that by so doing they would benefit by our continued custom. By improving my own skill levels, writing a health and safety policy, exceeding Thai documentation requirements and achieving standards approaching a European Union level of safety I was able to convince most of the doubters.

 

Some things were never allowed – like overnight bus travel and being on the water anywhere without a life jacket irrespective of the ability to swim. But we took children up mountains, down abseils, on jungle walks when the kids were only eight or nine.

 

The Thais – and foreign – outdoor education companies that we contracted improved their safety standards and together we put together a program that benefitted thousands of children over the years with many classroom “failure” children deemed successful leaders when out of doors!

 

Sure, we had a few near misses – but these were always followed up and learned from. The parents grew to trust me when I said I had walked “every foot of the way” on surveys and like Max Hastings in the Falklands, I counted them all out…and back!

 

I don’t have rose tinted specs in regard to safety. But I find it tedious in the extreme to hear the constant carping on forums like Thaivisa from people who claim that the Thais have no concept of safety. And if I hear another person who says that life is cheap you will be able to hear my screams from Rooster’s central in Ratchayothin!

 

Certainly someone who would fear for their safety in Thailand is one of the parents whose child I took away on those school trips – none other than Ms Yingluck Shinawatra.

 

This week Khun Poo was in the news again after the UK authorities granted her a ten year visa for Blighty. No one was surprised of course but I imagine that Big Too might have been incandescent if he knew the meaning of the word.

 

Of course, the reality is that Prayut is more than happy that the Shinawatra siblings are shopping at Harrods and getting hampers from Fortnum and Mason. That way he can have Thailand to himself, for now at least.

 

The general may one day be obliged to apply for the delights of London especially if Future Forward Party leader Thanatorn Juangroonruangkit makes inroads into power. He said this week that his party would scrap the 2017 constitution and revoke junta orders.

 

Now there is someone many would admire – but perhaps a little naïve about another aspect of safety in the kingdom that relates to being denied one’s personal liberty for speaking up despite uttering the truth!

 

Rights activist Andy Hall knows all about that; he left LOS understanding, like the Shinawatras, that it stands for the Land of Scarpering. 

 

But this week a measure of justice was served as the Appeals Court crushed earlier verdicts jailing Mr Hall for four years in his case against Natural Foods.

 

Now it is to be hoped that the 10 million baht in compensation is also thrown out and Mr Hall and his ilk are allowed to continue their good work on behalf of the downtrodden against big business and corruption.

 

If Prayut was not really that cross about the former PM enjoying the delights of England in the spring, he reportedly “blew a gasket” and told the people to fill up with water rather than diesel if the price of the latter was too high!

 

He, didn’t really – the story was described as “fake” news by none other than our dear friend Maj Gen Surachet “Big Joke” Hakpal who, acting on behalf of the PM, was sent after a Cambodian website owner. What would have been a bit of fun in most countries was defamation in Thailand.

 

Before the Cambodian was dragged back from Phnom Penh later in the week, BJ threw his not inconsiderable crime busting book at six people who shared the story, probably without even reading it!

 

They face five years for that little click.

 

Earlier in the week a “rot tit” (car stuck) story caught Rooster’s beady eye. It said that Thais spend on average 56 hours a year in the traffic.

 

This seemed much more like fake news that Big Too blowing a gasket. I spend about a month of each year stuck in Bangkok traffic even if I do ride a motorcycle. How I wish I could add up and get back all those collective five minutes spent at the lights since 1982!

 

Still, it matters not. Thailand, as the story explained, has now been named as the Hub of Congestion while Bangkok is only the 16^th worst city in the world for traffic…..we will clearly have to pull our hub caps up if we are to improve on that statistic and get some more number one status.

 

Land of Satatus…Land of Satatistics…..I’m rambling…..clearly been out too much in the Land of Sun.

 

Fortunately, as in any other week on Thaivisa and its Facebook arm, humor was never far away from the news pages. This week we were rewarded with some gems that were both original and versions of old favorites.

 

Trying to take over the role of old favorites from Nat and Harold are Annie and David Toborowsky, the couple who star in 90 Day Fiance on US TV. This week we were told that Annie needs pork (or was it to be porked?) at least seven times a week and even more in leap years.

 

Husband David looked on inanely in the video as Annie said that his urgent lovemaking could not be kept quiet if his son came to stay due to the unseemly noise made by the slapping of his ample derriere.

 

Nah..Rooster misses porn star Nat and Harold who never even had sex. Harold also watched the developing soap opera from a distance.

 

Rooster, when translating stories about the couple, always tried to get quotes from Harold. He wisely ignored me which is the polar opposite from publicity hungry Mr Toborowsky.

 

He clearly lacks Harold’s couldn’t-care-less-millions and is determined to make as big a fool of himself as he can for the quickest possible way out of the penury of marrying into a Thai family.

 

Also becoming a Thai version of reality TV are the couple down south known as Nong Bee and Phee Meemee. Bee is drop dead gorgeous and Meemee’s face surgery to remove oversized caterpillars nesting on his lips has not been altogether successful.

 

Now it has emerged that Bee has a daughter and her old, old man wants her back. She’s gone to work up country to make ends meet and love will find a way and….

 

Yawn. The clichés from this story sounded as bad as those coming out of Liverpool about sticking behind the team – and their goalkeepers – after losing football matches. Give me a break.

 

Rooster – an ardent football fan who grew up having Liverpool rammed down his throat like bad tasting medicine – thought the neighbors might get the police round last Saturday night such was the noise of laughter as Real Madrid and Gareth Bale restored some justice.

 

Rooster only went to Anfield once in 1978. My beloved Spurs lost 7-0, we were spat at and terrified, emerging to find that our car had been stolen from outside the ground. It was recovered on the Monday the Scousers having kindly removed the gear stick.

 

Ah, the Liverpudlian humor!

 

Humor that we have seen many times before but that is still as fresh as ever concerned the power pole in the middle of the road in Surat Thani. On this occasion the governor – one of many shamed by social media this week – got his finger out and soon the offending bit of concrete was, as the translator confirmed, in its usual place by the side of the road!

 

The Thais use the term “social” in describing this phenomena making me think that “Land of Social” might be on the cards soon.  

 

Finally, Land of Sausage or Land of Sauce might be more appropriate after a man was caught on video peeing into a plastic bottle while selling those delicious snacks of grilled pork and rice known as Sai Krok Isaan (north eastern sausage).

 

The health authorities on TV advised us helpfully that this was not hygienic in the Land of Safety.

 

Laughing at all the unexpected crazy “news” and snippets that this country throws our way it might be better termed….

 

The Land of Serendipity.

 

Rooster.

 

 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2018-06-02

I have always referred to Thailand as the Land of Smells.

The land of the False smile

Land of Sleep.

land of hide the sausage

?"life is cheap"...……. 

Edited June 3, 20188 yr by thaiguzzi

L.O.S

Land Of Say hello to my little friend.

A great read Rooster !!

Many commented ( myself included) that last week your Sunday sermon was not up to scratch but all is forgotten ( and forgiven ) as this week you are back on form and given me a wry smile at your usual sharp-wittedness !!

Land Of Smirks.

Keep that standard up, Mr Rooster, and I might have to challenge you to a game of pool.

A very enjoyable read.   I worked in the education field so I went on many field trips with the school.   Taking care of the students and safety was a priority and there were plenty of staff to supervise every activity, but it was the van trip to and from that was less than safe.

 

I have seen bus drivers doing things like racing each other, dangerously weaving in and out of traffic at horrific speeds and never a word spoken by the Thai admin.   I took to making sure I was in a larger yellow bus owned by the school and driven by a nice old guy who drove reasonably and safely.  He wasn't ridiculously slow, but he was safe.   He pulled over into the slow lane to let cars get by, for instance.   No matter what, he never hurried.

 

The other bus drivers would be angry when we arrived, anywhere from 5-15 minutes behind them.   

 

The number of accidents involving buses and school trips in Thailand in general, eventually resulted in the owner getting nervous and not allowing any trips other than relatively short ones.  

 

We never had an accident on any outing (knock on wood), but the driving made what should have been a pleasant day with the students rather stressful.