The week that was in Thailand news: How David Beckham saved me from roadside fines

 

 

Thaivisa told us this week that such would be the preponderance of news and stories surrounding the World Cup, we would have to like it or lump it.

 

Fortunately for Rooster, I happen to love it.

 

Despite living virtually my entire adult life in Thailand I am still a proud Englishman but, like most of my compatriots, I have a bit of fear when it comes to FIFA’s quadrennial fiesta.

 

We are as a nation mostly resigned to inevitable failure and ignominy when it comes to our football team.

 

The well-organized Germans or the flamboyant Brazilians will probably dominate again as those of us who gave the game to the world are forced to suck it up and climb back under our Blighty stones probably long before the latter stages.

 

Sure, we can always puff out our colonial cheeks and gang up on the Thais telling them they have never even qualified.  But I have never met a local who has made an issue of that. We could always try the Italians or Dutch I suppose…..

 

After my first visit to football crazy Krung Thep in 1982 I took an unusual flight on Aeroflot via Moscow to Madrid. Thereafter I hired a car and arrived in Bilbao a full three weeks ahead of the kick off for the Spain World Cup.

 

Myself and my traveling companion Richard, a fellow journalist, had plenty of time to try and drink the old quarter dry and wondered why enthusiasm in the Basque country was muted. We learnt something about politics when the competition started and a goal by Northern Ireland that beat Spain was cheered by the locals!

 

We were the first in the queue for group game tickets and met a BBC colleague who interviewed us for the evening news in the UK. We had become acquainted while drinking together in Kanpur at the final cricket test match between England and India some months earlier. On air, he called us England’s greatest supporters.

 

One of our late night buddies in Kanpur was none other than David Gower who Rooster managed to outdrink comfortably…well he was needed for the test team early next morning.

 

In Bilbao we went to all three victorious group games before I moved on to the Bernabeu in Madrid where two tame draws ended England dreams. It remains to this day the only World Cup I attended being far too young to recall the heroics of 1966.

 

Watching in Thailand over the years has always had its moments. Like the time in the 1990s when one of the goals was missed as thirty second ads were being shown in the middle of games. Angry fans called for a ban on international companies like Kodak.

 

In subsequent years the action was shown during the ads in a tiny box in the corner of the screen. Then the ads were just streamed as text along the bottom.

 

Finally the Thais started to do what all good footballing nations must – and wait till half time.

 

Memorable also was the time we were in a popular bar and – quite naturally – His Late Majesty’s 60th anniversary of ascension to the throne celebrations on TV took precedence over the start of the England match. We were amused by the bewildered bluster of the tourists in the bar as we patiently waited 25 minutes for the delayed action to begin.

 

We were happy to see His Majesty. Besides, it was bound to save us more England misery.

 

Football has always been an ice-breaker when meeting Thai men. These days all the most animated conversations I have in Thai and English in the street revolve around the English Premier League or the latest goal from Messi or Ronaldo.

 

In the 90s and Naughties it got me off many a roadside fine for forgetting my (non-existent) license or riding my bike in the outside lane. I would shift the conversation with plod to David Beckham and say that my ponytail hairstyle was modelled on his.

 

The cops would laugh and wave me on my merry way as I promised to drop in at the station with Old Trafford or Anfield tickets if I ever had any to spare.

 

These days I test applicant’s English at a recruitment company often with soccer questions. Rooster and my football mad boss keep a tally of the candidates who support various teams. Few like his West Brom but I get some who, like me, worship Tottenham Hotspur.

 

Funny how their English grades seem to go up as a result.

 

Yes, the whole nation will be in the grip of World Cup fever until the final on July 15th. And much on Thaivisa news will be skewed to reflect this.

 

In the story about a north eastern woman – married to a foreigner – who armed herself with a gun and went into an Udon Thani gold shop, the arresting officer used the occasion to warn people not to refrain from armed robbery but to tell them why they shouldn’t bet on football!

 

Wasana, 23, had gambled away her hubby’s funds, sent from Israel, on the online lottery. Incredibly, she went to the gold shop with her four year old that she had just picked up from the kindergarten.

 

Equally remarkable, she thought she would get away with it after getting her cropped hair extended at the salon! The gold shop owner recognized her tattooed eyebrows that had showed over the inadequate surgical mask.

 

A real OIT moment - Only In Thailand.

 

Another OIT occasion featured the increasingly ubiquitous – if that is even possible – Maj Gen Surachet Hakpal or Thaivisa’s once favorite Big Joke.

 

Rooster was a bit disappointed with the deputy commissioner of the Tourist Police Bureau this week.

 

After building BJ up like the very best PR agent over many months of crime busting and even translating a piece from manager that presented him in a very good light on Monday, he then went from hero to almost zero overnight.

 

Doing the bidding of his watch loving pal DPM Prawit over at government house, he went down the exceedingly inadvisable path of trying to nab a UK based Thai woman for posting stories of General Rolex and boss Big Too photo-shopped with dodgy airships and expensive satellites.

 

Oops! A firestorm erupted as many previously supportive posters turned on Big Joke with rightful indignation about failing to go after Red Bull Boss and worse……thinking that Interpol would actually contemplate issuing a red notice.

 

Now I don’t believe for one moment that BJ thinks Interpol will comply. And despite his omnipresence he still has more nous than his powerful bosses who are as thick as two short truncheons.

 

But Thursday’s pictures and video of His Jokiness running around Manila arresting more than a dozen Thai call center miscreants could not repair the damage to his reputation, at least in the eyes of the foreign community.

 

Perhaps he will need to square up to corruption in the RTP and elsewhere if he is to do that, though that might well be the catalyst for his downfall.

 

While the quote that evil thrives while good men do nothing is one thing, here in Thailand evil thrives anyway especially when good men do too much and step on too many booted feet.

 

The bashing of BJ – and everything else Thai - by forum curmudgeons was predictably OTT. It always reminds me of the story of Torapha and Toraphee, the errant buffalos of Ramakien (Ramayana) fame.

 

As much as father Torapha is hated for being vicious and cruel, his son Toraphee is even more reviled for being ungrateful to the angels who helped defeat his “old man”.

 

There is a lesson there like in several stories from the Thai epic though I doubt many posters on Thaivisa or its even more ignorant Facebook arm have bothered to read it.

 

Such stories – taught at every school – help to explain in part why the Thais think and act how they do in a multitude of situations.

 

One curmudgeon – well he does call himself a “cranky old bugger” - is Colin, 70, who lives in a village near Khon Kaen. Colin is a paraplegic after a serious motorcycle accident in Thailand. Largely confined to his bed he spoke to me about a murder that took place near his house that has left him feeling vulnerable at best and rather scared in his own home.

 

It was great to put a voice to the poster and his many comments that have earned him the respect of hundreds on Thaivisa. I don’t always agree with his observations but I know they are heartfelt and after our interview I was left with the feeling that here was a genuine Brit who cares passionately about Thailand.

 

Those who condemned him online and suggested he leave the Kingdom should take a look in the mirror – then smash it as a service to humanity.

 

Also understanding about Thailand a little better this week was a granddad in QUOTES – The Queen Of The Eastern Seaboard – who had a foul mouth rant at a tolerant traffic cop who gave him a ticket.

 

The tourist may have been 77 years old but he proved that he has learned something about Thailand by arriving at the police station later armed with a basket of goodies to apologize to the cop for his “fack you” comments that were not a reference to the officer and pumpkins.

 

Cultural job done - he won’t be getting any more fines in the future no matter what he gets up to!

 

Apropos Pattaya, Rooster made a visit last weekend for the fireworks on Saturday and I must say my little children thoroughly enjoyed the displays and the excellent pizza we had in a packed Hops.

 

But dad winced at all the rubbish on the beach during our short walk and perhaps for the first time ever in Thailand I forbid anything more than paddling. Also the early morning cacophony from tour buses made me look forward to getting back to the relative peace and quiet of Ratchayothin in Bangkok.

 

Building on the Green Line extension – and drainage work in my little soi – have meant years of inconvenience and disruption and more than a little mess and danger. But I still marvel about how incredibly quiet it is, Carruthers.

 

Those who might question Rooster’s hearing should know that it is acute – the only thing I have problems with is Mrs. R’s appeals for money to do the shopping or buy children’s clothes. Maybe it’s a mental block as I seem to understand calls for dinner or faint and distant shouts that the football has started after the soaps, with no problems at all.

 

One of Thailand’s biggest problems is the tossing of trash and the issue is receiving the attention it deserves in both the Thai and English language media. A change.org proposal that we should all sign a petition to stop plastic bags at 7/11 and Big C got me out of bed to register my agreement.

 

Everything goes in a bag and “sai thung” was one of the first expressions I learned in Thailand. I have always tried to refuse one in shops though always insisted on one after youthful visits to bars….

 

I believe that the Thais CAN learn better habits and the best way to do this is through their great passion…money. Charging for bags will go a long way to restricting the number that will inevitably traverse to drains and the sea. It is something that can be done immediately and may lead to the belief that other bad behaviors can also be stopped.

 

When my first wife was four months pregnant with my daughter in 1991 we went on a Songkran trip to Tak and Sukhothai on my Honda Rebel. Helmet-less and free I can hear you say, dear reader, that we must have been bonkers to tempt fate thus.

 

Well, I didn’t leave the nanny state for no reason but what Blighty did teach me was not to throw litter. On a particularly scenic stretch of our motorbike escapade the missus casually tossed a finished Lipo bottle into the undergrowth.

 

Saying very little I doubled back then hunted for several minutes until I found the bottle and told “Ee Kae” that tossing trash would never be tolerated and the unborn child would be taught likewise if it was the last thing I did. She shrugged and made a face and never mentioned it again.

 

But I never saw her litter after that.

 

Twenty years later in a rare moment of praise she told my second wife that while I am a good for nothing philanderer without a decent bone in my body who would rather watch football and play Scrabble than take care of the kids, I did teach her one thing. The importance of not littering.

 

At least I am appreciated for something.

 

Rooster

 

 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2018-06-16

Didn’t the PM push for one or two “plastic-less” days per month when he first arrived on the scene? 

17 hours ago, rooster59 said:

met a BBC colleague who interviewed us for the evening news in the UK. We had become acquainted while drinking together in Kanpur at the final cricket test match between England and India some months earlier. On air, he called us England’s greatest supporters.

Was this the first recorded instance of "fake news"?  ?

Rooster posted:

[Despite living virtually my entire adult life in Thailand I am still a proud Englishman but, like most of my compatriots, I have a bit of fear when it comes to FIFA’s quadrennial fiesta.

 

We are as a nation mostly resigned to inevitable failure and ignominy when it comes to our football team.]

 

It's not just soccer that is doomed to failure, our formerly glorious rugger team is now at the bottom of the tables it once dominated

Thanks Rooster, another pleasurable read as I lay on the sofa regretting eating so much for lunch............. again !!

20 hours ago, rooster59 said:

She shrugged and made a face and never mentioned it again.

...ahh she didn't muster up the "farang talk too much" to gauge her punch.   She only reached for the yellow card....  

Who ..?

Although, heaven forbid, you rarely mention how brilliant your Thai is, you could have at least posted a link to the Torapha n Thoraphee story


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

Here’s a link to the story http://www.himmapan.com/himmapan_cattle_torapee.html


Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect

7 hours ago, inactiveposter said:

Didn’t the PM push for one or two “plastic-less” days per month when he first arrived on the scene? 

Dear Rooster, you say you are still proud to be an Englishman and a scrabble expert. You should be ashamed of yourself spelling the word "favourite" the adulterated American way in this weeks post. Shame on you.