Having A Baby With Thai Wife

[mr_hippo]

[Maybe i am wrong,but i think the guy did not posted this forum himself.

I made no reference to the original poster. The reference to '60 year old' refers to Alf Witt's 'A farang I know', any further references in my post to 'he' refers to 'A farang I know'.

Edited February 6, 2007 by mr_hippo

[Alf Witt]

I am English, 58, and my wife is Thai. I have children (and grandchildren) from a previous marriage, my wife does not have any children nor does she want any and I certainly do not want any more. We belong to a very, very exclusive club in Bangkok; it is so exclusive that there are only two members - Mr Hippo ans Mrs Hippo.

Should the 60 year old become a father again? Should he go to his wife and say " 65% of the posters think that it is a good idea so we'll go for it."? What would his wife's reaction be if the poll went the other way "We'll post on two more forums and take 'best of three'?

What should he do? I know not and care even less. I think he shows a great deal of immaturity in asking about something that only he and his wife can decide. Now, if he was undecided about buying a Nissan Teana or a Toyota Camry then we can help him but he would probably end up buying a Handa Jazz!

Sorry but we can't decide for him on the baby issue.

Dear Mr Hippo, it looks to me that it is you who is exhibiting immaturity, not to mention selfishness and a tad of stupidity to boot.

My friend is not asking anyone to "decide" for him. He recognises that the decision he reaches with his wife has consequences not only for him but for his wife, her existing child and any future child that they may have. He has never been a woman nor has he ever been a child of a parent whose age difference is greater than (shall we say) "the norm". He is a caring person (which you are not, by your own admission) and hence is interested in the views particularly of persons who have had that experience, some of whom have been generous enough to share their own thoughts and feelings.

It is a mature attitude to inform yourself before making decisions, but if you are already a "know it all" and someone who does not care about others it clearly doesn't apply. I suspect that with the attitude you have displayed you probably don't even really know your wife's true inner feelings. Maybe she will come home pregnant one day and surprise you. Thai women are keen to reflect what their partner thinks and can often conceal and suppress their own true feelings.

I suspect also that your exclusive club is really a club of one member but that you are too insensitive to realise that.

If, as you say you don't know and care even less why did you post? Just to put someone else down? Mature indeed! Stick to the motoring forum - toys for adults.

[mr_hippo]

You said that you were canvassing opinions, I gave you mine and you did not like it. I never admitted anywhere that I am not a caring person. I only said that I don't know about him or his situation and I do not care about it. Why am I being selfish? My wife and I decided jointly not to have children without no outside help.

Your friend, or is it you? (most postings which begin with 'A farang I know', 'I have this friend' or anything similar is the author trying to write in the third person and not doing a good job of it) is 60 years old and cannot sit down and think of all the pros and cons? How will what strangers say on a forum influence his decision? What works for one person may not work for your 'friend'.

Can you point out to me where, in my first posting, did I insult either you, your 'friend' or any family members? Yet you think that it is prudent to insult me and my wife. That is rude. Did I show any stupidity. Possibly, by reading the posting in the first place.

Until and unless. you show the maturity that you think I am lacking, I will leave you and your 'friend' in peace.

[Nomad97]

I have just turned 59 years old and I can now see both sides of the story, so to speak.

With my first wife of 25 years standing, we raised two fine daughters in a conventional, western setting. I was working long hours making a career and she stayed at home to bring up our daughters. Both daughters excelled academically and graduated from university with degrees and subsequently their masters too. For most of that time I was working overseas while my wife remained in the UK with our daughters. Our marriage failed after 25 years and a few years later we obtained a divorce.

A few years later I came to Thailand to live and met someone who was to become my second wife. When we met I had no money and I was living in rented accommodation with only a motorbike. I had lost my ‘nest egg’ in a bad business decision (in Thailand). Notwithstanding, this young lady wanted to marry me and we duly did six months after our first meeting. The thought of having more children never crossed my mind. However, my wife who is just a tad younger than my youngest daughter had other ideas. It was she that asked me if we could have a child and not the other way around.

I did weigh up the pros and cons of fatherhood very carefully. I considered the age difference between my wife and myself and, more importantly, the age difference between a new baby in the family and myself. I also thought about how old my child would be when I turned 80! I spent a lot of time researching the matter on the Internet too. All in all I mulled this one through very carefully before coming to the conclusion “why not”? Less than a year later my wife gave birth to a very healthy and beautiful baby girl.

To the OP and his friend, it’s the best thing I have ever done in my life. Moreover, as a retired man I can give my now 20-month daughter all the time in the world, something I could never do for my first two daughters. Our new daughter brings so much joy to our lives that words cannot adequately describe. And, while I may not be around forever, I have made adequate provisions for my wife and daughter to enjoy life without financial worries long after I am gone.

P.S. Longevity runs in my family and I hope to enjoy the company of my wife and my daughter for quite some time to come!

Edited February 6, 2007 by Nomad97

[Alf Witt]

I will leave you and your 'friend' in peace.

Thank you. I'm grateful for that.

[Alf Witt]

P.S. Longevity runs in my family and I hope to enjoy the company of my wife and my daughter for quite some time to come!

Thank you, Nomad. My best wishes for your long and happy life with your family.

[NedKelly]

Go for it old codger.......at least yr not shooting blanks !

[Khun ?]

Wow raising children to the age of 80. go for death dude.

[macb]

I am English, 58, and my wife is Thai. I have children (and grandchildren) from a previous marriage, my wife does not have any children nor does she want any and I certainly do not want any more. We belong to a very, very exclusive club in Bangkok; it is so exclusive that there are only two members - Mr Hippo ans Mrs Hippo.

Should the 60 year old become a father again? Should he go to his wife and say " 65% of the posters think that it is a good idea so we'll go for it."? What would his wife's reaction be if the poll went the other way "We'll post on two more forums and take 'best of three'?

What should he do? I know not and care even less. I think he shows a great deal of immaturity in asking about something that only he and his wife can decide. Now, if he was undecided about buying a Nissan Teana or a Toyota Camry then we can help him but he would probably end up buying a Handa Jazz!

Sorry but we can't decide for him on the baby issue.

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Maybe i am wrong,but i think the guy did not posted this forum himself.

did you read the opening page ?? It states I have a friend

[macb]

I would say go for it if thats what makes you both happy: I am 58 this year and my wife has just had our daughter, we are all very happy, my wifes 1st child and my 1st daughter.

[thaihome]

Interestingly the people in favor of children late in life are the ones that are actually experiencing it and the ones opposed are either really selfish and do not want to expend the effort to raise children again (I fall into this category) or assuming since the wife is Thai (and not his wife) it must be a scam to get the money.

TH

[chanchao]

> Interestingly the people in favor of children late in life are the ones that are actually experiencing it

Well I'm 36, not THAT late in life. (errrm.. though getting there.

[kratindaeng]

Go for it mate! Goodluck and have fun gettin' sweaty, actually that reminds me, anyone suffer from the 'fan syndrome' =having to move the padlom for fear of getting dry? (kow jai mai?) 55555

KD