Secret Sub-forum?

[MiG16]

I know this issue was discussed a couple of months ago...related to agony aunts posts in the ladies forum, and like everyone else I didnt have any objection to having men bring in their questions to the ladies. however, lately since I use the forum more and more, and feel more and more comfortable with most of the regular ladies that post here, to the point where I feel we can have intelligent exchange about subjects of world affairs, local politics, women's rights etc etc......and at the same time develop a sense of community and friendship (dont know about everyone else, but I do feel up to an extent )

anyhow, given the above level of comfort I at times want to bring up questions of a more personal nature...you know the kind you'd share with girlfriends on a girlie girls night out on the town...or over a nice cup of capuccino (for my friends) and an iced chocolate (for me). The problem then becomes that although I feel comfortable with most of the ladies here, and might not know others enough, but its the scores of men that pop in every now and then, who at times give comments that range from anything such as irrelevant, insensitive, to perhaps even downright rude. Knowing this would be the possibility, in most cases I would refrain from posting on a certain topic, or even raising /starting new threads on questions or topics that I would appreciate the ladies views.

I know this is the nature of an internet forum (my first time on any forum actually!!) but I thought since you already have the ladies forum....would ask what everyone else feel about this? ofcourse without wanting to be discriminatory....but simply for reasons stated above.....

so lovely ones? your views?

[phibunmike]

I am really, really, really sorry

First answer from a ........... guy

1) This forum is not only read by TV members, female and male, but also by a gazillion other people;

2) You can't have gender checking on a forum, there is no way, it simply is not possible.

I would suggest putting in the topic title "GIRLS ONLY PLEASE" or something like that. If I saw that, or Britmaveric saw it, or most others here, we would stay out.

As it is, I very rarely look in the ladies forum since there were a number of negative remarks about blokes in here a few months back. Felt unwelcome, really...

For what it's worth, and again I apologise for popping in.

Cheers,

Mike

[MiG16]

mike...and all the other nice guys out there

i hesitated even putting this question out there, cos I did think it would offend..or as you say make some of our members feel unwelcome...and its really not the intention of my question

I guess I will just have to stick with the girlie chat face to face or I COULD start a mass email to some of the female members

[phibunmike]

mike...and all the other nice guys out there

i hesitated even putting this question out there, cos I did think it would offend..or as you say make some of our members feel unwelcome...and its really not the intention of my question

I guess I will just have to stick with the girlie chat face to face or I COULD start a mass email to some of the female members

Don't worry, not offended - I really do understand the desire to have a "girlie" talk area where you can all chat about periods and other yucky stuff like that. Quite honestly, I don't want to read those. Nor do most blokes. Just like I don't want to sit in on tuesday morning at starbucks (or whatever). Thats why I think either a sub-forum, or a clue in the topic title, would deter most blokes - but there's no accounting for some....

Hope you find a solution...

edit> typo

Edited February 6, 2007 by phibunmike

[bino]

I really do understand the desire to have a "girlie" talk area where you can all chat about periods and other yucky stuff like that. Quite honestly, I don't want to read those.

I agree Mike - on all counts!

It is do-able within the forum software if the admin / mods are agreeable, much like Bedlam, which is invisible to participants with less than 500 posts. I can be set up to be invitation only, as was the original Bedlam forum and a short lived "underground" forum. Perhaps one of the current female mods would be willing to take this on, and provide access to other women.

MiG16- seeing that you are one post away from 500, you will bee able to access the Bedlam forum with your next post. Perhaps posting womens issues there will be a possible solution, because it will only be seen by a small amount of members, who have been here for a while. Unfortunately, the women with less than 500 posts can't participate.

Welcome to Bedlam, and I hope that George and the team will consider your request!

[britmaveric]

Not necessary, trust me most normal lads - won't reply to girly stuff. Sort makes me queasy.

[guardian]

I agree Mike - on all counts!

It is do-able within the forum software if the admin / mods are agreeable, much like Bedlam, which is invisible to participants with less than 500 posts. I can be set up to be invitation only, as was the original Bedlam forum and a short lived "underground" forum. Perhaps one of the current female mods would be willing to take this on, and provide access to other women.

Well, anyone can fake gender just to access such "invite only" forums. Just like one can fake location, age etc. And by limiting access, there are many members who have not updated their profile stating m/f. There surely would be many members who could give valuable information but simply not aware of the restrictions in accessing such forums EVEN if you pin it up in the LiT forum.

Just my thought.

[phibunmike]

I agree Mike - on all counts!

It is do-able within the forum software if the admin / mods are agreeable, much like Bedlam, which is invisible to participants with less than 500 posts. I can be set up to be invitation only, as was the original Bedlam forum and a short lived "underground" forum. Perhaps one of the current female mods would be willing to take this on, and provide access to other women.

Well, anyone can fake gender just to access such "invite only" forums. Just like one can fake location, age etc. And by limiting access, there are many members who have not updated their profile stating m/f. There surely would be many members who could give valuable information but simply not aware of the restrictions in accessing such forums EVEN if you pin it up in the LiT forum.

Just my thought.

That's my point really, anyone can pretend to be a girl. You could have invitation only, where a (female) mod judges whether someone is female or not. Not very democratic, but could work.

As for bedlam, well my initial exitement over being allowed in was rather dulled by the trivia posted - I would rather read the Isaan or farming fora, certainly the general forum. Haven't been back in bedlam for a long time.

Mostly, I think we can tell who are girls and who are not. So perhaps the lady mods (like sbk and boo) could provide limited access for them to the "tuesday morning coffee forum" (you can use the name, I won't charge).

At least then I wouldn't be afraid to post in the ladies forum

[Thaddeus]

There is one down-side to a secret forum..... you exclude a potentially large amount of knowledge.

There are people here that rarely post and may not figure on your 'list of people I want to talk to' but can still come up with the occasional pearl of wisdom.

Post a question on an open forum, you get a large amount of chaff with the wheat. Post it on a invite only one, you may not get any wheat at all (not intended to be detrimental to the current members, but to ask a question about anything, you need to include everybody)

[endure]

The easy answer is to post in the Gay forum. Most REAL MEN (ahem) would rather walk through fire than post in there

[Jet Gorgon]

The easy answer is to post in the Gay forum. Most REAL MEN (ahem) would rather walk through fire than post in there

Geez, Endure, you're going to ruin your beasty bear image if you keep coming up with these replies.

[endure]

I'm sorry - it was only a momentary lapse. I'll just wax my moustache and adjust my arseless leather trousers and I'll be back on the case...

[November Rain]

I understand what all the guys are saying, and I have to say, that I trust all the guys' opinions that have replied so far. I also think they would honour a simple "Women only, please" request on a subject. However, I don't think you guys are the people MiG was talking about. I, myself, have a health query that I would love the other ladies' input on, esp those like Sheryl, sbk, bina, fruttbatt - or any of the ladies. But there's no way I'm going to post it, for the exact reason that MiG has outlined. I don't think I'd even mind the sensible guys reading it (or answering it), but it's those others that worry me. Exactly the members who would ignore a "women only, please" request on a post are those I wouldn't want reading this particular one, much less commenting on it!

[Jai Dee]

The problem then becomes that although I feel comfortable with most of the ladies here, and might not know others enough, but its the scores of men that pop in every now and then, who at times give comments that range from anything such as irrelevant, insensitive, to perhaps even downright rude.

Please don't forget about the report function :

If at any time you feel that a post (by a man or anyone for that matter) is offensive... please report it... and all online mods (male and female) will be alerted immediately.

[Jet Gorgon]

NR, maybe better to PM the people you trust. As guardian noted, anyone can fake their gender here, and NR, you are a public figure now! Thanks, Jai Dee for reminding us of the alarm button.

[taxexile]

how can anybody be sure of the gender of a regular poster , or a new poster?

[george]

Technically it's indeed possible with the forum software, as Bina said. The problem is that it takes time to maintenance a closed user group (add and remove members).

The downside is that the search engines doesn't pick up on these secret threads.

How many registered female members do we have approx?

[Jet Gorgon]

Technically it's indeed possible with the forum software, as Bina said. The problem is that it takes time to maintenance a closed user group (add and remove members).

The downside is that the search engines doesn't pick up on these secret threads.

How many registered female members do we have approx?

Well, judging from the past survey, about 9% of TV members are women, so that would be 3,600 based on the polled answers of a few thousand speaking for 40,000. In reality, I would say there are about 10...

[November Rain]

NR, maybe better to PM the people you trust. As guardian noted, anyone can fake their gender here, and NR, you are a public figure now!

I'm a public figure? Ooo-er

Seriously, Jet, I did consider pm-ing a couple of the more health -savvy women, but as Thaddeus says, I could be excluding someone who might have an answer. This "query" I've been to doctors with & no-one has come up with anything, but there could be someone with a similar problem who's had more luck sorting it out & it might be someone I hadn't thought of (but trust me, it wouldn't be a guy in this instance! ) I don't know what the answer is; visible sub-forum, hidden sub-forum or something else. I just agree with MiG that there are some personal matters that ladies might want support or advice on that we wouldn't want exposed to some of the unnecessary comments that some members feel necessary to voice.

[devildog683]

NR, maybe better to PM the people you trust. As guardian noted, anyone can fake their gender here, and NR, you are a public figure now!

I'm a public figure? Ooo-er

Seriously, Jet, I did consider pm-ing a couple of the more health -savvy women, but as Thaddeus says, I could be excluding someone who might have an answer. This "query" I've been to doctors with & no-one has come up with anything, but there could be someone with a similar problem who's had more luck sorting it out & it might be someone I hadn't thought of (but trust me, it wouldn't be a guy in this instance! ) I don't know what the answer is; visible sub-forum, hidden sub-forum or something else. I just agree with MiG that there are some personal matters that ladies might want support or advice on that we wouldn't want exposed to some of the unnecessary comments that some members feel necessary to voice.

One option would be to create your own forum on another server. There are many web pages that offer free forum hosting and many can be set to invitation only. Just a suggestion......

[Jet Gorgon]

Yo, Devil doggy. You better check the been done before thread in the institutional site.

NR, maybe you could post a thread with a general health issue and then mosey around with a bunch of issues, one of which includes the one you are most interested in.

[devildog683]

Yo, Devil doggy. You better check the been done before thread in the institutional site.

NR, maybe you could post a thread with a general health issue and then mosey around with a bunch of issues, one of which includes the one you are most interested in.

gotcha, replying...........

[Soph]

Perhaps you could open a new thread asking for all tv ladies to make themselves known. Then send a joint PM to us all - sure one of us would be happy to chat back. Just think of all those coffee and chocolate mornings we could have together - and you'd have us all to yourself!!!

[Jet Gorgon]

Couldn't we do it at night, so I could have a glass of wine? And I am a gorgon; we are not genderised. More like androgynous with mainly female traits except for the propensity to bash morons.

[fruittbatt]

MiG, I think the idea of asking guys NOT to reply to more personal/women's concerns topics on this forum could work. I have generally found that the guys who venture into the Ladies forum are respectful and often helpful, too. Of course there is the occasional misogynist who seizes every opportunity to "have a go", but the mods are vigilant in dealing with such worms.

NR, please feel free to PM me, ditto others. I'm no expert on anything, and for health stuff I think Sheryl and Cathyy are brilliant!

[Tywais]

I rarely post in here out of respect for the ladies. Probably a dozen or so posts in the 4 years I've been a member. I can usually tell fairly easy when a topic invites both genders responses and those where ladies only are wanted. Unfortunately some members have no 'intuition' at all when it comes to women.

Another possibility is to setup a ladies only chat room with a female mod and invite only members. Then you ladies can have a conference call in real time to address some of the more sensitive issues. Could even schedule a 'ladies' night so everyone will know when to login. Or PM to members you want to discuss the chat time and move over to it.

[sbk]

MiG, I think the idea of asking guys NOT to reply to more personal/women's concerns topics on this forum could work. I have generally found that the guys who venture into the Ladies forum are respectful and often helpful, too. Of course there is the occasional misogynist who seizes every opportunity to "have a go", but the mods are vigilant in dealing with such worms.

NR, please feel free to PM me, ditto others. I'm no expert on anything, and for health stuff I think Sheryl and Cathyy are brilliant!

Tywais knows more about this technical forum stuff than I do so I can't give an opinion about a chat room but, I believe a title something along the lines of "LADIES OPINIONS ONLY PLEASE" would help. Plus a public announcement that there will be immediate suspension for any worm who chooses to post misogynistic crap

[Old Croc]

Perhaps you could open a new thread asking for all tv ladies to make themselves known. Then send a joint PM to us all - sure one of us would be happy to chat back. Just think of all those coffee and chocolate mornings we could have together - and you'd have us all to yourself!!!

Perhaps your mate Uma might pop up again Soph.

[MiG16]

thanks everyone for your views and ideas, and I must say I do agree with all in some way or the other. anyhow looking at the responses I feel that yes although we may have some need for such 'girlie' talk, for practical purpose some other arrangement will need to be worked out amongst the ladies. the women only opinion is not something I would consider...cos there are certain issues I wouldnt even want men to READ about

so NR...it would seem that the mass PM is the way to go in the short term I guess thats partly why I have added quite a number of ladies to my friends list (eventhough I may not have personally exchanged views with all of them..but just from reading many of their posts...)

the chat idea could be another option...but I do understand the demands it would place on MODs and ADMIN team....

the ladies meet..well I see a number of attempts made...no idea if any of it has been successful..cos the couple of attempts I made didnt materialise at all plus ofcourse many of you arent in bangkok..or even in the same town in thailand

anyhow...also once more note to the nice men....what I voiced is really nothing against you....infact I often enjoy the men's post on a number of women topics..especially the ones that support about treating women more fairly....the positive views on women's rights and feminism, and protecting women from violence etc. so thankyou

hmmm I shall have to think how to host the 'morning chocolate talk' show thanks for the idea

[Totster]

MiG, I think the idea of asking guys NOT to reply to more personal/women's concerns topics on this forum could work. I have generally found that the guys who venture into the Ladies forum are respectful and often helpful, too. Of course there is the occasional misogynist who seizes every opportunity to "have a go", but the mods are vigilant in dealing with such worms.

NR, please feel free to PM me, ditto others. I'm no expert on anything, and for health stuff I think Sheryl and Cathyy are brilliant!

Tywais knows more about this technical forum stuff than I do so I can't give an opinion about a chat room but, I believe a title something along the lines of "LADIES OPINIONS ONLY PLEASE" would help. Plus a public announcement that there will be immediate suspension for any worm who chooses to post misogynistic crap

I think Tywais was meaning a room could be created with Thaivisa Chat

totster